It's All Spiritual...

Hello All,

The first time I ever came to Honduras, one of the guys from our team made a comment that has stuck with me since then: "It's either all spiritual, or none of it is spiritual." I very much believe that it is all spiritual, and we can either live with a deep understanding that there is a realm beyond our own and be participants as subjects in the Kingdom of God, or we can be commodities to be used by the enemy without our knowledge. I have no desire to be a commodity. Life is very real here. If you haven't been here, I don't know how to explain to you what that means necessarily except to insinuate that death is always so close that life takes on an entirely different light. Many people around here don't necessarily have time to worry about trivialities because they're too busy figuring out how to feed their families. The literal poverty is quite real, but in addition to poverty in the physical realm, the poverty in the spiritual realm is quite real (just as it is quite real in the US as well--and in some cases, worse). There are so many people here whose stories I know well, who have experienced terrible things, who are struggling to believe that there is better, who I look at and know very deeply that, in and of myself, there is absolutely nothing I can do to help them. I am quite poor in spirit because on a daily basis I am faced with the truth that as a human being, I am so helpless to do anything meaningful for the Kingdom of God. Yet, even as sometimes, I feel so heartbroken by so many attitudes and circumstances here, I am not discouraged because even in the midst of it, God is making Himself so real to me. It is a process of humbling. I will say frankly that well-intentioned people who think that they can come down here with their own strategies and ideas for how to help without abiding in Christ and taking the time to listen and seek His very best humbly, are crazy.

I look into the faces of the girls at the Eagle's Nest, even as they are lying to me sometimes, and I listen to the struggles of my adopted brothers and know that only Jesus is enough. But, that's the beauty of it--He IS enough. My advice, my ideas, my strategies, and my human love will never ever be enough to sustain these people who are searching for real love. It all has to come from Him. I have been so encouraged by reading the Heidi Baker book, The Hungry Always Get Fed:

What is this life all about? Is it about how many people we lead to Jesus or how many churches we plant or how good a person we have been? Or is it about being so hidden in the heart of our awesome, eternal God of love that we are swallowed up in Him, so that it is no longer we who live, but Christ in us? . . . the reason that I am alive, is for this purpose and this purpose alone; to learn how to love like Jesus loved. . . . at the end of the day, what matters most is LOVE! I am trying to learn to be like Christ in every possible way, yet every day, I am seeing that Christ is already inside of me and He is happy to come out and make Himself known through me to the lost and dying world around me. . . . What is faith working through love? Simply abiding in Christ and letting the sweetness of His presence flow through us and minister to those around us who are lost, dying and desperate for God. It is believing that which Christ accomplished for us on the cross is enough to equip us and empower us to be bright, shining lights amidst a crooked and perverse generation. It is laying down our lives, so that the kingdom of God can come forth to the broken, the lost, the dying and the weak. (171).

Stop looking at your limited resources and start looking at the One who can multiply them. Stop looking at your life and thinking how insignificant it looks! Yield it to God, fully, totally, completely, and allow Him to multiply it. . . . As God worked in my life and taught me to live in His presence, eventually, I stopped looking at me. . . . Instead, I began dwelling in the secret place of God where my heart and mind were always focused on Him and not on me. I became so overwhelmed with who God is, that I stopped worrying about "me" altogether. My purpose became to keep my vision fixed on the beauty of Him, the glory of Him, the holiness of Him, the all-sufficiency of Him! . . . we cannot hold back from God. You cannot divide up your life, giving a bit to God and holding some back for yourself, just in case He doesn't show up. It's all or nothing! God doesn't do half-measures. You have to throw yourself into Him completely, holding nothing back. Then He is able to do the miraculous with your life. Then He can do what only He can do. (174-175).


This is the place I find myself. When I look at the circumstances, I am totally overwhelmed. Oh, but to look on the face of Jesus, the beautiful face of Jesus--He is so real. He is enough. I love worship, and for me, the best way to worship is to close my eyes to shut out any distractions. And, it is the same way in abiding with Christ. When I am heartbroken, I come to Jesus and ask for His eyes. I let Him draw me into the secret place. My favorite song right now is Jesus Culture's song, "Come Away."

Come away with Me. Come away with Me. It's never too late. It's not too late. It's not too late for you.


I have a plan for you. I have a plan for you. It's going to be wild. It's going to be great. It's going to full of Me.


Open up your heart and let Me in.

This past Sunday, I was just in worship at church and bringing before Him once again my own helplessness and the things I see here that have me heartbroken. I began to pray for God to stir the hunger and thirst for righteousness. With my eyes closed, God just began to show me that I was in the midst of the whirlpool at Niagara Falls where my brother and I visited only a month and a half ago. His hands were stirring the hunger and thirst for righteousness like a whirlpool. It is important to note that He was the one doing the stirring. No man in and of himself regardless of how great of a sermon, how sacrificial an offering, how intuitive a counseling session, etc. can stir the hunger and thirst for righteousness in the heart of someone else. Only God can do that, and it is only through this hunger that God's best begins to manifest in the lives of human beings. In the midst of this stirring, I was reminded of the river of God's presence in Ezekiel. As the whirlpool churned and the waters were rising all around me--waters of hunger and thirst for righteous and waters of difficult circumstances and heartbreak in the natural--I found myself dancing with Jesus, laying my head on His heart. I wasn't afraid of drowning because He was holding me. I was perfectly secure listening to His heartbeat.

The message of this image was continued in the scriptures from which Pastor Marcus spoke on Sunday--2 Corinthians 12:7-10, Habakkuk 3:17-19, and Deuteronomy 8:

2 Corinthians 12:7-10


And to keep me from being puffed up and too much elated by the exceeding greatness (preeminence) of these revelations, there was given me a thorn (a splinter) in the flesh, a messenger of Satan, to rack and buffet and harass me, to keep me from being excessively exalted. Three times I called upon the Lord and besought [Him] about this and begged that it might depart from me; but He said to me, My grace (My favor and loving-kindness and mercy) is enough for you [sufficient against any danger and enables you to bear the trouble manfully]: for My strength and power are made perfect (fulfilled and completed) and show themselves most effective in [your] weakness. Therefore, I will all the more gladly glory in my weaknesses and infirmities, that the strength and power of Christ (the Messiah) may rest (yes, may pitch a tent over and dwell) upon me! So for the sake of Christ, I am well pleased and take pleasure in infirmities, insults, hardships, persecutions, perplexities and distresses; for when I am weak [in human strength], then am I [truly] strong (able, powerful in divine strength).

Habakkuk 3:17-19


Though the fig tree does not blossom and there is no fruit on the vines, [though] the product of the olive fails and the fields yield no food, though the flock is cut off from the fold and there are no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord: I will exult in the [victorious] God of my salvation! The Lord God is my Strength, my personal bravery, and my invincible army. He makes my feet like hinds' feet and will make me to walk [not to stand still in terror, but to walk] and make [spiritual] progress upon my high places of trouble, suffering, or responsibility!
from Deuteronomy 8:


All the commandments which I command you this day that you shall be watchful to do, that you may live and multiply and go in and possess the land which the Lord swore to give to your fathers. And you shall [earnestly] remember all the way which the Lord your God led you these forty years in the wilderness, to humble you and to prove you, to know what was in your [mind and] heart, whether you would keep His commandments or not. And He humbled you and allowed you to hunger and fed you with manna, which you did not know nor did your fathers know, that He might make you recognize and personally know that man does not live by bread only, but man lives by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of the Lord. . . . Know also in your [minds and] hearts that, as a man disciplines and instructs his son, so the Lord your God disciplines and instructs you. So you shall keep the commandments of the Lord your God, to walk in his ways and [reverently] fear him. For the Lord your God is bringing you into a good land, a land of brooks of water, of fountains and springs, flowing forth in valleys and hills; a land of wheat and barley, and vines and fig trees and pomegranates, a land of olive trees and honey; a land in which you shall eat food without shortage and lack nothing in it; a land whose stone are iron and out of whose hills you can dig copper. When you have eaten and are full, then you shall bless the Lord your God for all the good land which He has given you.

God knows what He is doing. While the circumstances and spiritual soil may seem tough, God is at work. He is stirring the hunger and thirst for righteousness. And, in His perfect timing, He will bring forth people who are ready to come to Him, ready to hear the truth of God, and ready to receive His love. Meanwhile, I am content that He is humbling me and that He is allowing me to hunger after Him. The greater my weakness, the more perfect His strength and ability to work through my life. The greater my hunger, the more space He can fill in my heart.

Please keep Honduras in your prayers. Please never discount the power of prayer to the ministry here. As Papí Alvin put it to me four years ago, it is the very life blood of the ministry. We cannot exist without prayer, without seeking God. If you are reading this, I would ask you to consider taking Joel 2:12 to heart in regard to Honduras:

Therefore also now, says the Lord, turn and keep on coming to Me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning [until every hindrance is removed, and broken fellowship is restored].

I so appreciate all of you who stand with me in prayer. I am unspeakably grateful.

All for Jesus,

Sarah

My Faithful Family

Mamí Sara and Raúl

Bessy and Julio with me and Grandmom

Bessy and Julio with Grandmom and Roy

My big brother, Nahun, and I

My girls--Blanca, Claudia, Mayra, Kimberly, and Quendy

Hello All,


Well, to update you, I have now received all the paperwork that I needed for residency. Now, the rest is up to the lawyer. I am grateful that everything that I needed to do is already accomplished. Now, I just need to wait.

The Least of These
This morning I was reading in Matthew the story of the servants and the talents. The story in Matthew 25 talks about being a good steward with what one has been granted. While reading this story, I was reminded of some very special people here who very seldom receive the recognition they deserve. These are the people who have stolen my heart because they are so faithful in the smallest things. They are the ones who are willing to be the least of these, who are willing to do any task they are asked to do without complaining or questioning or the need for recognition. They truly have servant hearts. One of these people is Mamí Sara. She is from Nicaragua, and she is the beloved mother of our house. She is such a wise woman and is constantly teaching me how to see with Kingdom eyes, how to discern lies from truth, and how to compassionately deal with the girls with unwavering, loving discipline. She is here in Honduras because God called her here. Her family, including her youngest daughter, lives in Nicaragua. I so admire her because she has been obedient to follow the call of God and is committed to being a mother to the girls for as long as God directs, and she is a mother to me as well.

The other people here who bless me more than I can express are really an entire family—Roy’s family. I have talked about Roy before because he is my best friend here; he attempted to visit me in the US; etc. However, I may not have mentioned how special his family is. Today, we had the distinct privilege of visiting Roy’s beautiful hometown of Tatumbla. It is a special pueblo with lovely people and gorgeous scenery. I love it there. Roy’s mother owns a restaurant, and because it is Honduras’ Independence Day today (the 15th), we went to Tatumbla to visit the Ramírez family and to see the celebration there that included a cultural fair and parades. Roy’s mother fed all of us and refused to let us pay (even though her restaurant is her livelihood). Roy’s sister, Waldina, works so hard helping her mother as does Roy’s brothers and Roy. They are kind people who serve others so tirelessly and effortlessly with the kind of generosity that melts your heart. Roy’s mother, Sonia, raised all six of her children more or less by herself. All of her boys have told me extensively of the great sacrifices that she made and how hard she has worked to ensure that they all were able to receive a high school education, and Waldina just graduated from college.

I am so grateful for this family and the way that they have made me feel at home with all of them. Roy and I have been friends for two years now, so I have gotten to know his family somewhat as well. Roy’s heart to serve has always blessed me, and he gets it honestly, as do his brothers. His brothers, Nahun and Raúl, are also my dear friends here. Raúl is like a protective brother to all of the girls in the house. He stays here often, and he’s told me before, “If you ever need anything, even if it’s in the middle of the night, just call me, and I’ll come help you.” Nahun is like my older brother. He is learning English, and he stops in every so often to practice, and we end up having impromptu Bible studies and talking about all kinds of things. These are the boys who do the thankless jobs, and any time you do thank them, their response is always, “it’s a pleasure,” or “I’m here to serve.” Roy was the one who painted the room where I will be living. Roy is the one who goes almost every single day to the house of Julio and Bessy to get Julio out of bed and into his wheelchair. Without Roy, Julio, who has muscular dystrophy, would spend every single day in bed. Roy is the one who takes and picks up Alvin’s daughter at school every day. Raúl is the one who takes us to church or on errands, who fixes the car, who advises the girls, and who willingly will drop everything to help at a moment’s notice. They teach me so much simply by being them. These people are wonderful, living representations of Luke 16:10:

He who is faithful in a very little [thing] is faithful also in much.

Though they may not be in the spotlight and never demand recognition, without them, so many details of the ministry would not be carried out.

I so look forward to the way that God will reward my beloved friends here and the ways that He is going to promote them and bless them and give them more responsibility within His Kingdom. Their humble hearts and willingness to serve touch my heart and undoubtedly touch the heart of God. Please pray for these amazing people and understand in your own hearts that it doesn’t matter whether you receive the approval of men or seem important. Those who are first in the Kingdom of God are the ones who are willing to become the least of these.

La Vida Catracha
Life here is always an adventure. I am very proud of how my grandmother handled herself during her stay here. She left today with a heightened sense of peace about where I am. I think she knows in her heart that I am not alone here. I have adopted family here to love and take care of me.

Meanwhile, I am so excited about this adventure that has just begun. In the past couple days, I have found myself just laughing with God in so many moments—as I randomly rode a horse through Tatumbla with the guide of a neighborhood boy, for example. (A gringa galloping on a horse draws a good bit of attention, let me tell you.) I also had my first try at translating during a church service. It was hilarious and a perfect reflection of a recently found John Donne quotation: Humiliation is the beginning of sanctification. I have been so privileged to become a part of a family here. I love the privilege of taking the car to pick up my little sisters from school. In the midst of chattering at the dinner table and moving buckets around to catch the rain water from a leaky roof, Raúl collecting my dishes to wash them and Tía Sally using her Spanish vocabulary, I can’t help but overflow with love for my family here. I am truly blessed. I am so eager to learn all that I can about Honduran life, and I am blessed to have amazing, patient teachers.

Laundry
One last parting thought…

Laundry in Honduras has always been a favorite aspect of life here. Catrachos (Hondurans) wash their clothes by hand in a pila, which is kind of a large cistern that partially is covered by a cement washboard. They then hang their clothes in the sun to dry. I finally learned (because of the guidance of Blanca) how to get all of the soap out of my clothes when washing. For two years now, I have returned to the US with soap streaked clothes, but now, I can wash even black pants with no soapy streaks remaining. Washing can take quite a long time because every single article of clothing receives direct attention. Every sock, every shirt, every pair of pants are individually scrubbed and rinsed. As I was washing and meditating, God just reminded me that this is how it is with His children as well—He is a very personal God who takes the time to deal with each of us individually. He knows exactly what we each need; He doesn’t treat us all the same or direct us all the same or speak to us all in the same way. He is a creative God, and I believe that He calls us to deal with others with the same personal, creative love that He demonstrates to us. I say all of this because, for me, it was a good reminder to have patience with others. Just as washing takes time, God’s purification of all of us takes time. Just because we don’t see the difference immediately does not mean that God isn’t working in someone else’s life. I am grateful that He is a God of the details and that He cares about every thread in the fabric of our lives.

Lots of love,

Sarah

Can't Take My Eyes off of You...

Roy boy and I at Mayra's birthday party

Mayra cutting her birthday cake

The Honduran birthday tradition is to have the person bite the cake and then shove their face in it. This moment is captured here.

My beautiful little sister, Quendy



Grandmom with Quendy and Kimberly

  Hello from Honduras!
Well, I have officially been in my new home for a week, and what a busy week it has already been! Let me give you a rundown of some of the highlights:

Street Ministry
The first night I was in Honduras, I went with Papí Alvin, some Hondurans, Chad and Trina, and some volunteers from the US to do street ministry. It was absolutely the best way to start my life here as street ministry is so close to my heart because it is sitting with the poor. During the evening, I sat with Heidi (Hay-dee) , a 23-year-old young lady with two kids who was sitting off to herself; talked to Daniel, a young man who talked to me about my occupation and why I’m in Honduras; and held a girl who was very high on glue, trying to help her eat as she smeared beans all over my arms wide-eyed. The heartbreaking highlight of the night, however, had to have been visiting the older people who live on the streets. They were already asleep, but Papí advised us to wake them up to give them a sandwich and some Koolaid. The man who I woke up completely stole my heart. This 45-year-old man was so childlike as he told me, “They hit my head. They tried to kill me while I slept,” as tears streamed down his face. He rubbed the back of his head and showed me the gash where he had been hit with a bottle. He let me pray for his head, and afterwards, I just sat for a while listening to his stories—about how his best friend had been murdered, about all the murders he’s seen on the streets, and about his parents. When we left, he said he’d never forget me, and I never want to forget him either. I have come to value a literal touch. It is such a privilege to sit with the poor, to touch them skin to skin so that they may feel the presence of another human being invading their current condition.

Yuscarán
The second day my grandmother and I were here, we had the distinct privilege of going with a new couple from the church here to Yuscarán, a small town south of Tegucigalpa, the capital, where I live. For some time now, they have been going to the mountains outside of this small town in order to minister to some people who live in poverty and don’t have electricity. Many of their children cannot go to school because they must work to help feed their families. The area reminded me a lot of my students in Chiligatoro, Honduras, from last summer. We took the girls from the Eagle’s Nest as well as some others from the church and also crammed various townspeople and children in along the way to reach the destination where they hold their services—32 people in all in a 12 passenger van. The place where they hold their services is far away from civilization in an area where there are large rock slabs where the people can sit, and we could set up a generator and a microphone/speaker system. The people were so precious. We had a praise and worship service that consisted of dancing with the children in the middle of the road and just entering into God’s presence. It was awesome. Then Papí Alvin shared a message. Afterwards, we visited with the people as a bit of rain began to fall and handed out clothes, shoes, and food—all provided by the Honduran couple, Martha and Natí, who have taken on this endeavor of their own volition and out of their own pockets. They are amazing, beautiful people, and I felt so privileged to be a part of their ministry. I look forward to when I can go with them again. They go every 15 days, and the people count down the days until their return.

Residency and Settling In
While most things in Honduras can take a very long time, especially when related to the government, it seems that my residency perhaps will not. Papí has a very good lawyer who is going to be filing my paperwork and residency application. He is a godly man who prays before every job that he starts and who is very helpful and accommodating. This past week was a frenzy of paperwork gathering before Papí left to spend some time in Nicaragua. Thus, much time was spent zooming around on the motor bike from office to office getting needed signatures, pictures, and the like. I now have my own bank account here in Honduras, and as soon as my Honduran background check comes through on Tuesday, I will have all the paperwork I need for my lawyer to start the residency process, which he says shouldn’t take longer than two and a half months. If you’re ever in need of getting Honduran residency, I could now help you out! Another adventure has been driving. Once I get my residency, I have 90 days to take my driver’s license exam to receive a Honduran license. Until then, I can drive using my US license, which I have also been doing somewhat. I drove to the church with the van full of my girls, Grandmom, and Mamí Sara. I thought Grandmom was going to pee her pants, but when driving an automatic, the traffic doesn’t scare me after having driven in numerous major cities. (I mean we only almost hit a bus, a taxi, etc. … not because of my driving but because that’s just the way the traffic works here.) I will, however, say that I need some practice with a stick shift before I’m road worthy or prepared to take a driver’s exam (you have to use a stick shift). The last part of settling in has perhaps been the easiest thus far—living at the Eagle’s Nest. I lived there last summer, and three of the girls who were like my little sisters last summer (and two from the summer before as well) are still here. I absolutely love my girls—Quendy, Mayra, Claudia, Blanca, and Kimberly—and I feel so blessed by how they and Mamí Sara have accepted me into their home and daily life. I have been so blessed to already be able to listen to the struggles they have, help them with math homework (trying doing that when you don’t know math vocab!), and share late-night giggle sessions. Mamí Sara, as always, has been so wonderful in easing my transition and in making me feel at home. She is truly a wonderful woman, and I am so blessed to have to counsel me, teach me, and encourage me. In some ways, I feel completely prepared to be here because of my past experience—handwashing clothes, eating rice and beans, speaking Spanish, etc. are completely normal for me. But, at the same time, there is still SO MUCH for me to learn! I am so eager to learn whatever I can from whoever is willing to teach me. I am excited for how this adventure unfolds on a daily basis.

Lessons
The greatest lessons so far have been primarily in ministry and are things that God teaches me in the quiet of daily life. He continuously reminds me that every element of life is spiritual—from sickness to hostility between the girls, from fear to worship. It’s all spiritual, and now, more than ever, I need spiritual eyes to guide me in making choices that reflect the deep belief that God’s Kingdom is reality and the most important thing in life. Surrounded by so much emptiness, darkness, sin, and past pain, I am so awake to the truth that there is absolutely nothing I can do within my own strength. Nothing. I could strategize all day long about how to counsel young people to make right choices. I could fundraise until I’m blue in the face trying to raise money for the poor. But none of that is ever going to hold any fruit if it is not God’s will and His best. Furthermore, as my dad and I were recently discussing, the Bible says in Matthew 26:11, “For you always have the poor among you, but you will not always have Me.” (Amplified Version)


Now, more than ever, I know the importance of coming to God helpless in prayer, confessing the pain and poverty, the sin and darkness, before Him and admitting that there is nothing I can do. When I look at the circumstances, I am absolutely overwhelmed. When I try to even think of how I could fix anything or make a difference on my own, I am consumed and stressed. But when I draw near to the Father and put my eyes on Him, all of that stress melts away. There is still a lingering sense of urgency, but it’s an urgency of prayer and spiritual warfare—not busyness. I take rest in my Father and trust that He is changing me from a Jacob (a trickster or deceiver) or an Esau (a doer) to an Israel (one who knows that it God who strives, not me). It’s not always and easy process, but my First Love is so beautiful. I have once again come to find Him in every detail of my day—from chrysanthemums to tamalitos, from motor bike rides to fuzzy blankets. I am so privileged to be here and be a part of what He is doing. The current song I’m stuck on may seem like an odd choice, but it warms my heart each time I listen to it. It is Damien Rice’s “The Blower’s Daughter.” I cry with joy nearly every time that I hear the lyrics, “I can’t take my eyes off of you,” because I really can’t take my eyes off of Jesus. He is so beautiful.

I leave you with these words from the Heidi Baker book I am currently reading called The Hungry Always Get Fed:

Ministry to the poor involves vastly more than becoming a provider of food and clothes. It means much more than healing bodies and generating wealth. Bringing the kingdom means a supernatural kindling of that most fundamental quality of revival—a hunger and thirst for righteousness. (131).


But when all hell breaks loose you have a choice. You can either go deeper into the river of God’s presence or you can retreat from the water and try to figure out what to do in your own strength. . . . The deeper you get into the river of God’s glory, the more you discover how good He really is. He turns out to be so much more beautiful than you can imagine. Don’t worry today if you feel you are in over your head. Something fresh and powerful can begin to flow through your life when you allow yourself to soak in the river of God. Surrender to Him and let the river flow! Go deeper still. (140).

All of my love,

Sarah

Grandmom with Roy boy...Don't be fooled--he's standing on his tip-toes