Everything I Once Held Dear, I Count It All as Loss

The Liberty Bell

LOVE Statue in Philly

Brotherly love wth my brother, Sammy

A little piece of home in Philadelphia

The farmhouse where my dad grew up

I am so excited to see these people (Roy and Mamí Sara)!

Hello All,
It's obviously been a while since I've updated. The rest of the trip with Samuel finished well, and I've just enjoyed time being home, recharging, and packing. I have less than a week until I move, so I am in full-fledged packing mode.

To finish the trip updates, let me say that Samuel and I left from New York and headed to Philadelphia. We really liked Philly. We stayed in Apple Hostel in the older part of the city, and it was probably the nicest hostel I've ever encountered. We enjoyed walking around the city, seeing the Liberty Bell, Independence Hall, and the like. We also found a free outdoor jazz concert at Penn's Landing along the river which was really enjoyable. Once again, I couldn't help but feel like God was serenading me as the sun set over the water, and the moon was rising. After the concert, Samuel had his first adventure with making a new friend who wanted help, "Mister." He was a drunk guy stumbling around asking for food, so Samuel and I hung out with him for a while. My brother and I both agreed that meeting "mister" (that's all he'd tell  us his name was) was one of the highlights of our trip. After letting Sammy take pictures with the Rocky statue and run up the stairs of the Philadelphia Art Museum, we headed to Washington Crossing to meet up with a friend who used to live in Philippi and to see Heidi Baker speak. There is a lot I could say about that amazing experience, but I'm not sure how to explain other than to say that it was the perfect last stop in a summer of road tripping. She spoke from Colossians about how God wishes to not only give us faith and blessings but also patience and endurance. She also mentioned that the best news of that passage is that God qualified us. It was a perfect word for me as I move, knowing that I am entering a new adventure that I will also entail much development of patience and endurance. After praying all summer really wondering if I am truly prepared for everything I am about to do and see and be a part of, it was such a God-given comfort to be reminded that God has qualified me in a way that no seal of approval from another human being ever could. After the service, we had a very long drive home and ended the road trip around 4:45 AM on the 14th.

The summer was absolutely amazing, and I feel so blessed that I was able to travel to so many amazing places. I wondered toward the end of the trip what God's purpose was in the trip because it's not like I had any super spiritual agenda in traveling. Many people assumed I was going to drum up support for moving, but that simply wasn't God's leading. In fact, as I prayed about what God had done during the trip, I found that one of the biggest purposes was just draining me of me. The fact that God had me spend money not on something overtly spiritual (which would be much easier for me and easier to justify) or on others, but on myself simply out of obedience, was very difficult for me. But, it also taught me that my reasoning for doing anything should be obedience and out of dependency on and trust in God--not because it logically makes sense to me or others. God provided for this trip every step of the way, and as I'm about to enter a missionary lifestyle where I don't have a steady paycheck or the illusion of security in many ways, this was the exact preparation that I needed. It was difficult and stretching, but God proved to be so faithful as He promised He would be in His Word. It was also a summer where God was once again leading me into an even deeper love for Him and wonderfully lavishing His love on me. Brennan Manning helps me explain this sense in his book, The Rabbi's Heartbeat:
Coming to interior stillness requires waiting. Any attempt to hasten the process only stirs up the water anew. Guilt feelings may arise immediately. The shadow self insinuates that you are selfish, wasting time, and evading the responsibilities of family, career, ministry, and community. But silent solitude makes true speech possible and personal. If I am not in touch with my own belovedness, then I cannot touch the sacredness of others. . . . When I allow God to liberate me from unhealthy dependence on people, I listen more attentively, love more unselfishly, and am more compassionate and playful. (42-44).

Recently, I headed to the farmhouse where my dad grew up and where we had stored many things after our move ten years ago. The farmhouse has always been synonymous with my childhood since we used to go with my grandmother and cousins during the summers or with my parents to camp and tube down the river. I hadn't been there in years. As I drove away from the farm with boxes of childhood in my car, I began to cry, but it was a sweet cry. I just began to offer all of my past things, memories, and self to God as an offering. Here are my very first fruits, Papa. May they be pleasing to You. I am so pleasantly at rest. Parts of this life change are undoubtedly going to hurt, but my eyes are on Jesus. He's my hiding place. I am secure in His ultimate good and excited to see what He wants to do. I have no plans or expectations of my own. It's all mystery and open horizon.

Going through the boxes of my childhood (I kept everything!) was fun and encouraging because in the midst of that continual wonder of whether or not I'm prepared to move, I was able to see how God's been preparing me since I was very young. Ultimately, the best preparation has been realizing that all the preparation means nothing if my eyes aren't on Jesus or if I'm not saturated with His presence. And in the midst of loss and goodbyes, I have come back to Luke 14, which is entirely a good chapter, but here's an excerpt:
If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his [own] father and mother [in the sense of indifference to or relative disregard for them in comparison with his attitude toward God] and [likewise] his wife and children and brothers and sisters--[yes] and even his own life also--he cannot be My disciple. Whoever does not persevere and carry his own cross and come after (follow) Me cannot be My disciple. . . . So then, any of you who does not forsake (renounce, surrender claim to, give up, say good-bye to) all that he has cannot be My disciple. (Amplified Version)

And, my heart's cry, as a friend so appropriately sent to me, is Philippians 3:8:
Yes, furthermore, I count everything as loss compared to the possession of the priceless privilege (the overwhelming preciousness, the surpassing worth, and supreme advantage) of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord and of progressively becoming more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him [of perceiving and recognizing and understanding Him more fully and clearly]. For His sake I have lost everything and consider it all to be mere rubbish (refuse, dregs) in order that I may win (gain) Christ (the Anointed One). (Amplified Version)  

Naomi and I watched the movie, The Help, last night. It was a good movie and particularly appropriate for me at this time. I like the message and truth that when someone is willing to be courageous and take a risk, it empowers others to be brave risk takers as well. Life with Christ is always a beautiful risk, and I only hope that my impending life adventure spurs others on to have their own. I am in a most joyous state of brokenness as I receive phone calls from Mamí Sara, e-mails from Roy, and text messages from Papí Alvin. I have waited for this move for four and a half years; I am indeed ready to go home.

Waiting for my real life to begin (there's not much longer to wait now)...
Sarah

New York, New York



A rainbow hovering over Narragansett Beach, Rhode Island



Downtown Providence, Rhode Island

A sign in the Upper West Side of New York City...I doubt my Honduran friends could drive here without getting a penalty! Anyone who has driven in Honduras should know what I'm talking about...

Sunset in Riverside Park

Times Square

Rockefeller Plaza

Hello from the Big Apple!


We enjoyed Boston—actually, Samuel is convinced that Boston is one of his new favorite places. It poured the rain the only full day that we were there, but we ventured to the North End anyway. We stumbled upon an Italian festival for a Catholic saint, and we saw the North Church, the Paul Revere statue, and a few other attractions of the area. By the end of our exploring, we were absolutely soaked. Hilariously enough, as soon as we emerged from the parking garage, the rain went away, the sky cleared, and the sun came out. We drove by Fenway Park just so Samuel could see it and then headed back to Cambridge where we were staying. Samuel played basketball with some neighborhood guys (which I’m pretty sure is the biggest reason he thinks Boston is one of his new favorite places). The next morning, we got up and headed to Rhode Island. For whatever reason, Rhode Island is a state I’ve wanted to go to for a long time, and I will gladly say that I really liked it. We stayed at Fisherman’s Memorial State Park which is not far from Narragansett Beach. We set up camp and then headed to Narragansett Beach which was very beautiful with some pretty large waves. It was raining some of the time we were there, but after a while, the rain stopped and left a beautiful rainbow just hovering over the water. I’d never seen anything like that before. It started to lightning eventually, so we headed back to camp where we ate refried beans from a can and tortillas. I still stand by the fact that this is one of my favorite meals. I am just as happy eating it as I am eating in some fancy restaurant.
The following day we got up and went to Scarborough State Beach. It was very busy, but the skies were pretty clear. We played in the ocean, and Samuel, stubborn child that he is, refused to put any sunscreen on, which resulted in a terrible burn all over his body. I can’t say that I don’t understand—it used to be that just about every summer, I’d convince myself that if I just let myself get a little sun, it’d turn to a tan. This simply is not the case for me, but it took many burns for me to finally accept myself as the pasty, white kid who needs to bathe in sunscreen. I will, however, say that his learning of this lesson was not the greatest of timing. After Scarborough, we headed to Providence. I really like Providence. We walked around a lot around the downtown area. It was very quiet but also pretty despite the overcast clouds and occasional rain. Samuel and I caught a movie and had some dinner at Providence Place mall—probably the largest mall Samuel’s ever been to except maybe Multiplaza in Tegus. After the movie, we headed back to camp. It poured the rain the whole way there which did not bode well for sleeping in the tent. Samuel, with his burn, could only sleep sitting up anyway, so he was already planning on sleeping in the car. Thus, it was just me in the tent with the pouring rain. Our campsite was all pretty much downhill, so water was seeping in the front door of the tent. After fitfully trying to sleep, all I could think about were the people who live in the dump in Tegucigalpa. There’s an entire rainy season in Honduras, and they have no where else to go except their little shacks made out of cardboard, plastic scraps, and the like. There is no shade from the sun and no reliable shelter from the rain. I can’t imagine what that feels like. I know that humans are able to adapt to many things, but I had the comfort that I could go into the car if need be, and eventually, I wouldn’t have to be camping anyway. It put the stupidity of self-pity into perspective for me.

The next morning, after everything dried out, we headed to New York, where we are now. We’re staying in Queens, but we went to Manhattan last night and will likely venture there again today. Sammy was so convinced months ago that we was going to love New York even though I cautioned him that it’s not everything it’s cracked up to be. It’s a cool place to experience (Spanish Harlem is my favorite), but it’s also tiring and overwhelming. After five hours of walking and exploring and subway riding with his all-over sunburn, Samuel was dead tired. Ironically enough, after navigating us to Queens, driving in New York City traffic, navigating the subway and the Upper West Side, finding my way in Times Square and Rockefeller Center, we got lost walking from the subway station in Jamaica to the house where we’re staying. For the most part, though, all of this traveling has sharpened my sense of direction and made me a better driver. It has also made me braver. If I can pick up and go to New York City, what’s to stop me from picking up and going to another city in another country? One of the lessons of this trip has been that if God says to go somewhere or do something, you just have to do it because you can.

Heidi Baker often says there is no “no” left in her for Jesus. I learned a while back that that doesn’t just mean that she can’t disobey God when He tells her to do something. It’s not just a matter of will; it’s also a matter of ability. She can’t tell Him, “no, I can’t do that,” if He tells her to do something even if it seems absolutely impossible. It’s true for all of us because the point is dependency on God. This is a lesson that has me in its grips at the moment although it’s a lifelong, ever-renewing lesson, I know. The closer I get to moving, the more loss I experience, and the more of myself has to die. I only want to be obedient. Being obedient means being out of control, though, and often, I find myself asking God for the bravery to trust Him with all things rather than relying on any illusions of my own control—I don’t have any. A song that speaks to where I am right now is “Empty Me Out” by Telecast:
Empty me out, fill me with You
Lord, there is nothing I can give to You
I lay down my life
Here at Your feet
You give me life so completely
So completely


I died with You, was buried with You
The moment I believed
I rose with You, ascended with You
Into the heavenlies

Lord, it’s not me
It’s You inside of me
Jesus, You are all these eyes can see
Lord, it’s not me
It’s You inside of me
Jesus, You are all that these eyes can see

In the midst of the stretching, I have received so much comfort from testimonies and stories from other faith-filled missionaries who live dependently on God. In addition to Heidi and Rolland Baker, Corrie ten Boom and her book Tramp for the Lord have been major encouragements. Her stories are convicting and thought-provoking. For example, after she was permitted to leave Ravensbruck, a concentration camp during the Holocaust, God directed her to travel the world telling others of Jesus. Eventually, God told Corrie that was not to ask anyone for money or support but that she should depend on Him to supply her needs. Here is an excerpt from Tramp for the Lord:

God takes His prohibition of asking for money very seriously just as He means it seriously when he says He will care for and protect us. However, if we seek to raise our own money then God will let us do it—by ourselves. Many times we will be able to raise great amounts of money by human persuasion or downright perseverance in asking. But we will miss the far greater blessing of letting Him supply all our needs according to His own riches. (85-86).

I know that many missionaries would argue her point, but I think she is absolutely right. Furthermore, I believe what she’s saying is biblical. One of the scriptures that stuck out to me during my first summer in Honduras was in Matthew 10:9-10. I think The Message puts it best:

Don't think you have to put on a fund-raising campaign before you start. You don't need a lot of equipment. You are the equipment, and all you need to keep that going is three meals a day. Travel light.

From here on out, I believe my position on fundraising is simple—God will supply all my needs. I am not at the mercy of the purse strings of other human beings. If I have a need, I will make it known to my Father and throw myself on His mercy. He will always show me what to do, and He will provide according to His will (not mine) because either the Bible is true and Jesus is right, or the Bible is a lie, and Jesus is a liar. I choose to trust and depend on my loving Heavenly Father.

Meanwhile, tomorrow will make only 3 weeks until I move to Honduras which is astounding. This summer went by so fast, as I knew it would! Samuel and I have only 2-3 days on the road after this one, which is good because he is ready to be home already. Once home, I begin the frenzy of seeing people, going through the remainder of stuff, and packing, packing, packing! I’m excited—I want the adventure to begin!
I’m waiting for my real life to begin…

With love,

Sarah

Something Better

Hello All,

Well, Samuel and I are about halfway through this trip, and after so much traveling this summer, the lessons of the road are beginning to surface. At the end of the school year, God really opened my eyes to the story of Jacob wrestling God as I explained in an earlier entry: http://confessionsofaragamuffin.blogspot.com/2011/05/jacob-wrestling-with-god.html
I knew from the weight that this story and its revelations carried that this summer would be a time for God to teach me how to stop being an Esau--a doer--and to be an Israel--someone who allows God to strive. Furthermore, the story of Ruth was so important to me at the end of the school year as well and during the trip with Gabrielle. God made it clear to me before the summer began that I was to undergo a time on the threshing floor where He would be separating the wheat and the chaff in my life, the things that are relevant and useful for His Kingdom and the things that need to be discarded, the distractions. Looking back over this entire year to last summer, I also recall that I knew that God was teaching me to want something better. Elisabeth Elliot indicated her journey through this lesson in her book, Passion and Purity:
My heart was saying, 'Lord, take away this longing, or give me that for which I long.' The Lord was answering, 'I must teach you to long for something better.'
This has undoubtedly been the case for me over the past year. Every idea I had for myself and my future has been completely turned upside down--even the things that God had shown me. It's not that His promises have changed; it's that my heart's desires, my priorities, and the contexts of those promises have changed drastically.

To put it simply, I have been so ruined (in a good way) in the past year. I don't want a "normal" life; I don't even want to be a "normal" missionary anymore. I remember being younger and hearing or reading stories about missionaries that were seeing people raised from the dead, people healed, etc., and thinking, "Why does that happen there and not happen here in the US?" When I asked my dad about it, he said something to the effect that the people there are hungry for it, seeking God for it, and are more desperate for it than the people in the US. And furthermore, they believe it's possible whereas people in the western world tend to be skeptics. Then, my family went to a church for a short period of two years where things like healings happened. God's tangible presence was in the church all the time, and it positively wrecked us all because it gave us a small taste of what is possible. But, I have learned that God doesn't mean for us to get fat on His presence either. He fills us up to pour us out. It's an everflowing cycle. There are so many movements especially in western charismatic churches that are so selfish with the presence of God. God wants to fill us up; He wants us to invite Him into every aspect of our lives without compartments of church or religion. But, He fills us up so that we can go to the poor, the broken, the dying, the hungry, and the heartbroken with His love and His presence. If we sit soaking all the time, we become stagnant.

A lot of my "ruination" has come from seeing the lives of Heidi and Rolland Baker. I know I have mentioned them numerous times, but it's because they have become living examples of everything I always wanted to believe was possible in my childhood but didn't have a concrete example to show me the way. They are regular people. They are not any more spiritual than you or me, but they've seen hundreds of people healed, close to 100 people raised from the dead, and the multitudes in Mozambique come to Jesus because of Jesus' love and for no other, human-related reason. And, I am crazy enough to believe that if it can happen in Mozambique, it can happen in Honduras. God has truly taught me to want something better. As a missionary, I don't want to have a strategy. I don't want to do anything on my own. I don't want to assume I know what is God's best. I want to seek Him in all things. I want to take time to listen to Him, to be still, to rest and be refilled so that I can effectively be useful for His Kingdom. In short, I don't ever want to build my own kingdom in Jesus' name. It all has to be His work, or I don't want to have anything to do with it.

So, here, in the midst of Boston, I am overwhelmed with a restlessness for Honduras--not because it is home but because it is where God is sending me. I am ruined. I am chomping at the bit to try out these spiritual wings, to be thrust into an even greater dependency on the Father. There is absolutely nothing in this world that can ever satisfy me. That has been the greatest lesson of this trip. I have seen so many natural wonders. I have seen so many man-made attractions. I have been to so many places in the US where people like to brag they've seen just for the sake of bragging. But, it's all worthless compared to His Kingdom. Where is its eternal value? There is no location that satiates like His presence. There is no movie or television program that entertains like the wonders of the Holy Spirit. There is no food or specialty that quenches the hunger built into us all for His Kingdom. There is no other person who warms the heart like my first love, Jesus. There is no amount of money that provides the security of the Heavenly Father's jealous love for us. There is no occupation that can fulfill like being a broken, lowly vessel of God because nothing that we do in and of ourselves is work of the Kingdom. I don't want to chase after anything else but Jesus. Nothing else matters but His Kingdom. I don't want to waste any more time consumed by the things of this world.

Matthew 6:33:
But seek (aim at and strive after) first of all His kingdom and His righteousness (His way of doing and being right), and then all these things taken together will be given you besides.
from Hebrews 11:
Now faith is the assurance (the confirmation, the title deed) of the things [we] hope for, being the proof of things [we] do not see and the conviction of their reality [faith perceives as real fact what is not revealed to the senses]. . . .
But without faith it is impossible to please and be satisfactory to Him. For whoever would come near to God must [necessarily] believe that God exists and that He is the rewarder of those who earnestly and diligently seek Him [out]. . . .
[Aroused] by faith Moses, when he had grown to maturity and become great, refused to be called the son of Pharoah's daughter, because he preferred to share the oppression [suffer the hardships] and bear the shame of the people of God rather to have the fleeting enjoyment of a sinful life. He considered the contempt and abuse and shame [borne for the Christ (the Messiah Who was to come)] to be greater wealth than all the treasures of Egypt, for he looked forward and away to the reward (recompense). [Motivated] by faith he left Egypt behind him, being unawed and undismayed by the wrath of the king; for he never flinched but held staunchly to his purpose and endured steadfastly as one who gazed on Him Who is invisible.
from Hebrews 13:
Let your character or moral disposition be free from love of money [including greed, avarice, lust, and craving for earthly possessions] and be satisfied with your present [circumstances and with what you have]; for He [God] Himself has said, I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support. . . .
So we take comfort and are encouraged and confidently and boldly say, The Lord is My Helper; I will not be seized with alarm [I will not fear or dread or be terrified]. What can man do to me? . . .
Strengthen (complete, perfect) and make you what you ought to be and equip you with everything good that you may carry out His will; [while He Himself] works in you and accomplishes that which is pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ (the Messiah); to Whom be the glory forever and ever (to the ages of the ages). Amen (so be it).

With love,
Sarah

Boston, Massachusetts

Sunset over Lake Ontario

Niagara Falls at night

Fireworks over Niagara Falls

My brother, Sammy, and I

Niagara Falls

Horseshoe Falls

Bar Harbor, Maine

Hello All,
Well, I'm on the road again--this time it is with my brother instead of my cousin, which makes for a decidedly different dynamic. Today is actually Samuel's birthday, and in typical Samuel fashion, he is enjoying it at the first basketball court he could find where we are currently staying--Boston, Massachusetts.

We left on August 1, and headed first to Niagara Falls, staying at a campground located right on Lake Ontario with a view of the Toronto, Canada skyline. It was beautiful. Our first night we arrived there, and God immediately provided us with the unexpected gift of fireworks over the illuminated falls. Samuel was small child-excited which was so enjoyable for me to watch. This is actually the most time that he and I have spent together in a long time--we both agree that he probably couldn't have handled road tripping for as long as Gabrielle and I did. Just in the 6 days we've been on this trip, I have questioned how Gabrielle and I road tripped for as long as we did. I am so ready for a sense of home and stability. After spending two days at Niagara, we headed for Brattleboro, Vermont, a half-way point between Niagara and Lamoine State Park, Maine. We wandered around the cute, little town and had a picnic of food we bought from a local co-op. Then we headed to a local, downtown movie theater that was old and charming. It reminded me of the Opera House in Shepherdstown where I went to college. We both enjoyed the movie Crazy, Stupid Love and then headed to an abandoned Walmart parking lot where we slept in the car for the night. The next morning, we got up and headed to Lamoine, which were the cheapest and closest accommodations to Bar Harbor that I could find. It rained the entire way but stopped long enough for us to set up our campsite. We headed to Bar Harbor that evening and enjoyed some seafood and walking around the quaint tourist spot. It's really nice. Being as it was dark, and we were tired, we went to bed early. The next day, we headed to Acadia National Park which is truly beautiful, and Samuel finally got to see the ocean instead of a bay, which he'd been adamant about. However, the water was so cold (55 degrees F.) that we didn't swim. Ha ha. Today, we left Lamoine and made our way to Boston, stopping in Bangor to have lunch with a family friend that we had met from our church in Lewisburg. It's always so nice to see people who contributed to who we've grown to be.

We haven't seen too much of Boston yet, but I have to remind myself that this is the first major city (other than Tegucigalpa, oddly enough) that my brother has been to. I am all ready to hit the sights and have a destination, and he's wandering in the wonder of it all. Being with Samuel has refreshed my approach to travel. It's easy after traveling so much this summer to forget the wonder of the little things, to become spoiled and jaded by so many new sites that merely remind me of old places or seem to pale in comparison to past locations. But, I have to remember to take each individual moment as its own, separate from the past or even future experiences. This is easier said than done, especially now when everything relates to Honduras for me.
Nearly every other thought at this point relates to Honduras, and I dream about it almost every night. On the 3rd, I hit one month until I move. In some ways, I'm not ready at all--I still have stuff to go through and people to see. But in others, I have already checked out and am already in Honduras. Most of the music I listen to (by choice...Samuel occasionally claims control of road tunes) is in Spanish, and my brain lights up any time I hear anyone speaking it or see a sign in Spanish. My mind keeps turning over that idea that when I get off the plane this time, it's to stay. It's to make a new home. It's scary, but I love it.

Recently, I read a book called Soaring with the Eagles, by Kenneth Hagin, a book my grandmother got me, knowing how much I like eagles. A particular excerpt fits my current state perfectly:
If you're ever going to soar with the eagles, you have to be willing to trust God and leave the security of the nest. And if you're ever going to receive the things you believe God has spoken to your heart and see them come to pass, you have to be willing to try your spiritual wings. (24).
I also have been reading in Hebrews currently, and it, too, speaks to my heart:
from Hebrews 10:
Do not, therefore, fling away your fearless confidence, for it carries a great and glorious compensation of reward. For you have need of steadfast patience and endurance, so that you may perform and fully accomplish the will of God, and thus receive and carry away [and enjoy to the full] what is promised. . . . But the just shall live by faith . . .; and if he draws back and shrinks in fear, My soul has no delight or pleasure in him.
I want God to take pleasure in me, and this verse clearly states that for God to delight in me, I have to be willing to live by faith, to venture into the unknown.

Until next time,
Sarah

Country Roads Take Me Home

Best pizza I've ever had

The Windy City

Hello All!
Well, I finally made it back to West Virginia with my family. We left Luke's and headed for Chicago where we ate the best pizza either of us had ever had in our lives. We also walked around near the water, but we were so exhausted and didn't really have much time to fully experience Chicago. Perhaps, some other time...
Then we headed to our best friend, Anthony's, where we visited with him and his wonderful mother. Gabrielle is flying out to Turkey today to spend some time with her dad for a few weeks, and I'm home for a few days before Samuel and I head out August 1 to tackle the New England states.

I know that there was a lot that we missed including while we were on the road, so here's a bit of road trip recap for you:
Total Miles Covered: 13, 322 (still haven't quite hit the 100,000 mile mark on my car yet)
States Visited or Passed Through: Virginia, North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, Florida, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, Texas, New Mexico, Colorado, Utah, Arizona, California, Nevada, Oregon, Washington, Idaho, Montana, Wyoming, South Dakota, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania, and Maryland
My Favorite Recommendations of Places to Visit:
North Carolina--
*Topsail Island; It's a beautiful beach that's not very commercialized or overly busy.
*Turtleback Falls; Our friend, Beth, took us to this really fun place where you can climb and slide down the waterfalls. It's a great place to spend a day.
South Carolina--
*Charleston; It's a cute city with lots of history and charm.
Georgia--
*Skidaway Island State Park; We camped here, and it was so quiet and peaceful. Plus, it's a great location because it's close to Savannah and the beach.
*Tybee Island; lovely beach not far from Savannah
*Savannah; It's a beautiful, unique city.
Louisiana--
*New Orleans; We were primarily in the French Quarter, and I loved it. It was great to just be able to walk around and experience so much great music, food, and atmosphere. We stayed at Joe and Flo's Candlelight Hostel which was nice enough and was primarily great because of its location within walking distance of the French Quarter.
Texas--
*Austin; Most Texans think that Austin is weird, and for Texas, it is definitely unusual since it is liberal and full of hippies. But, that's probably precisely why I loved it. It was a shame we only stayed one night there because we would have loved to experience more. We stayed at a Hostelling International hostel that is located on the banks of town lake. It was a truly beautiful location, and the staff was very helpful and friendly.
New Mexico--
*Carlsbad Caverns; They are huge and were such a cool experience! We did a self-guided tour through them and were able to escape the heat. If you're wanting to visit the caverns and camp, Brantley Lake State Park is a great location that is peaceful and close to the caverns and the town of Carlsbad. The town of Carlsbad is so cute as well. We ate at a local cafe, and the people were so friendly.
Colorado--
I just love this state in general. It is absolutely gorgeous.
*Garden of the Gods; If you're going to be in Colorado Springs, I feel like this place is a must. The scenery was so beautiful, and it's open to the public.
*Manitou Springs; This town was really cool--so cool that we visited twice during our time in Colorado. They have great restaurants and shops, and it's just a fun environment.
Utah--
*Moab; For whatever reason, I'm drawn to little, hippie towns. This is a another great one.
*Canyonlands National Park--the Mesa Arch, especially; We almost didn't go to Utah, but we were so glad that we did because we saw some of the most breath-taking views in this national park. The canyons are absolutely phenomenal, and it's easier to get up close and personal with them than it is at the Grand Canyon.
Arizona--
*Flagstaff; While it wasn't as nice as some of the other small cities we staying in, it was still a quirky place with its outdoor dance classes, good restaurants, and fun characters. We stayed at the Grand Canyon International Hostel which was one of my favorite hostels. They provide free breakfast; the staff is wonderfully friendly; and the accommodations were so comfortable.
*Grand Canyon; Do I really need to explain this one? It's massive and still blows my mind with its untamed beauty.
California--
This is another one of our favorite states just because it has so much to offer!
*San Diego; This city is one of my new favorites. It is just as happening and exciting as New York, but the social atmosphere is much more laid back, friendly, and less hurried. Within San Diego, Seaport Village is very cute and was a fun place to visit. We also visited some of the beaches which were gorgeous! My only gripe about San Diego is that parking is horrendous.
*San Francisco; Fishermans' Wharf was a great area. We stayed at another Hostelling International hostel, and for the 4th of July, it was an amazing place to be. It was located right along the water which was so convenient especially for not having to battle parking during a holiday. We wandered down to Pier 39 to watch the fireworks. We didn't get to explore too much, but I'm still glad we got to visit.
*Yosemite National Park; This park is absolutely amazing. The falls are beautiful and refreshing, and there is so many opportunities for hiking, picture taking, and exploring the great outdoors. This was one of our favorite national parks and a must for a California visit.
*Redwood National Parks; This is pretty self-explanatory. The redwoods really are huge, and it's absolutely recommended to take the Pacific Highway for some of the best views of the Pacific Ocean.
Nevada--
*Lake Tahoe; There are a lot of options of where to stay around Lake Tahoe. We were near Zephyr Cove which was a fun town. It's amazing to sit on the beach at Lake Tahoe across blue, waving waters to see snow-capped mountains.
Oregon--
*Portland; Big, hippie city. It was very unique, and Powell's Books nurtured my addiction to books. So hooray for that! We mainly hung out in the Hawthorne District. I recommend it.
*Eugene; I love the Saturday market in Eugene. I wish we would have had more time to spend there. It's an ideal place for people watching. Eugene Whiteaker Hostel is a quirky, fun place to stay. The staff was so nice.
Washington--
*Seattle; I loved Pike Street Market even though it's definitely a tourist spot. Seattle in general is a beautiful city.
Montana--
Another beautiful state!
*Missoula; it's another hippie place with lots of farmer's markets. It seemed quieter than a lot of other hippie cities we visited. It's a beautiful city nestled in rolling hills and open skies.
*Glacier National Park; I'm told it's a great place for active explorers. For those of us short on time, Going-to-the-Sun Road provides amazing views. I loved this national park mainly because at the time of year when we went, it just felt like the whole place was teeming with life. So much water was trickling off the rocks, and flowers were blooming everywhere. Beautiful!
Wyoming--
Gorgeous state!
*Yellowstone National Park; The United States' first national park lives up to its reputation. It was full of watchable wildlife, gurgling mud pots, brightly colored and steamy hot springs, and gushing geysers. This was another one of my favorite national parks.
South Dakota--
*Mount Rushmore; Self-explanatory...
*Keystone, South Dakota; I say this mainly because it was close to Mount Rushmore, but also because it has so much character. It has a western, down-home feel to it, and it seemed like a pleasant place.
*Badlands National Park; While I'm sure geologists would gasp at my making this comparison, but if you can't make it to the Grand Canyon, the Badlands is a bit like a mini Grand Canyon. It's also pretty easy to pass through the Badlands by taking the scenic loop off of I-90.
Minnesota--
*Minneapolis; While I must confess we only drove through Minneapolis, we saw enough that we'd like to go back at some point.
Illinois--
*Chicago; While it was the only city where we didn't feel completely safe (and we didn't get to spend a lot of time there), it had a unique feel to it. We'd like to visit there again someday.

Food Favorites:We had so much delicious food during this trip! Here are some of my personal favorites:
*Champa Sushi and Thai Restaurant, Hendersonville, North Carolina--some of the best sushi I've had in my life with so many unique varieties. The Green Dragon roll was our favorite.
*Kayak Kafe, Savannah, Georgia--They have great Tex-Mex, fresh tacos, and our waitress was so friendly that she started our tradition of writing a thank you note on our receipts to whoever served us.
*Waldo's, Vero Beach, Florida--Our friends, Melvin and Macayla, took us to this place. The food was good, but I primarily recommend it for the atmosphere. They play live music, and it's right along the water. It was a fun place.
*Pere Antoine, New Orleans, Louisiana; The New Orleans Sampler is great although being the simple girl that I am, rice and beans were my absolute favorite.
*Cafe Du Monde, New Orleans, Louisiana; This place is famous in New Orleans and rightfully so. They have great coffee, and their signature beignets (French doughnuts) are delicious.
*Honduras Maya Cafe, Houston, Texas; This restaurant basically stole my heart. It's the only place where I have been able to find authentic Honduran food in the US. It was just like eating at home. So delicious and so reasonably priced as well.
*Shady Grove, Austin, Texas; We had their unique hippie sandwiches on their homemade bread. They were so good. Plus, the atmosphere was unlike any other restaurant I've been to.
*Yellow Brix, Carlsbad, New Mexico; Great gelato! This cafe was really cute, and the staff was so friendly. I loved the small town atmosphere.
*The Heart of Jerusalem Cafe, Manitou Springs, Colorado; The food was so delicious! The waitress was so kind especially when we were one of her last customers, and they have this cool deal where they give you free tea and baklava if you pay with cash.
*The Peace Tree Cafe, Moab, Utah; Great health food, hippie kind of cafe. I had the beet salad and a Desert Nectar smoothie. It was so good, and they had so many options it took us forever to choose what to order.
*Mountain Oasis International Food, Flagstaff, Arizona; This place was a bit pricey, but the Southwest Pasta was delicious.
*J Wok, San Diego, California; The food was a modern blend of Asian food. They had great curry and lots of fun options for smaller, tapas plates. The prices were also some of the most reasonable in the Gaslamp District.
*Sushi Pier, Zephyr Cove, Nevada; Amazing sushi! I recommend the Ava roll.
*Voodoo Donuts, Eugene (and Portland), Oregon; They pretty much have a cult following in Oregon. They're definitely an eccentric place, but they're doughnuts do live up to their fame.
*Azteca Mexican Restaurant, Spokane, Washington; I include this primarily because I had chicken mole there that was as good as the mole I had in Cuernavaca, Mexico.
*Giardano's, Chicago, Illinois; As previously mentioned, their stuffed pizza (Chicago deep dish) was the best pizza I've ever had.

She doesn't actually know this right now, but I had a bit of a cry between Gabrielle's house and reaching my grandmother's house. It was the first night we'd spend apart in over two months, and while everyone asks us if we hate each other, we had such a wonderful time together. I am so grateful that she went with me and that we had that time to share all of those amazing experiences. As I listened to "All the Way My Savior Leads Me" by Rich Mullins, I couldn't help but be so unspeakably grateful. We had near perfect weather during the entire trip. We never had a single flat tire and never broke down. In fact, we made it back to West Virginia with the same tires the guy in San Diego said we absolutely had to replace immediately. God always provided all of our needs and protected us in ways I'm sure we're unaware of. I am so thankful.

Meanwhile, I'm resting until I hit the road again with my brother.

Lots of love,
Sarah

Menomonie, Wisconsin

Hello All!
We have had some whirlwind traveling since I last updated. Currently, I'm in Menomonie, Wisconsin, visiting a dear friend. To catch you up:
We left from Spokane and headed to Missoula, Montana, where we stayed with our cousin Derek for two nights. On Saturday, Derek took us downtown, and we walked around some farmer's markets. In general outdoor markets seem to be more popular and common in the rest of the US than they seem to be in West Virginia. I like them a lot. Missoula is a cool place, and Montana is a gorgeous state. That evening, Derek took us along to participate in one of his favorite past times--contra dancing. Gabrielle and I both gladly admit that we are not graceful or dancers, so this was one of those experiences on this road trip where I found myself looking around and thinking, "How on earth did I get here?" The contra dance also included a potluck, and the whole event was located on a farm in Arlee, Montana. People come from all over the surrounding area once a month just to contra dance, and they'll typically dance late into the night and camp in tents until morning. It was a really fun atmosphere in the middle of nowhere surrounded by tall pines and chilly air. The dance was held in an open-air, stilted building, so it was as if you were dancing in the pine trees. The people were very friendly, and Gabrielle and I learned some basic steps. We were there until a bit after midnight when we headed back to Derek's. The next morning, Gabrielle and I got up early, and Derek so kindly got up as well to make us breakfast. Then we headed to Glacier National Park in the northern part of Montana.

Glacier was pretty cool. We took Going-to-the-Sun Road throughout the park and were able to see some spectacular snow-capped mountains, glaciers, and waterfalls. Overall, the park was so beautiful mainly because you could just feel that it was teeming with life. The road had just fully opened not too long ago as they had to keep plowing snow. The snow on parts of the drive towered above our heads. From Glacier we headed to Yellowstone National Park. We got to West Yellowstone at the west entrance around 11:30 PM and slept in a hotel parking lot in my car. The next morning, we got up, freshened up in a gas station restroom, and headed to the national park. The combination of contra dancing in Montana and the wonders of Yellowstone reminded me of what I had imagined as a child that Narnia from The Chronicles of Narnia would be like. It was absolutely amazing. One of the coolest things was the hot springs because the steam from them mingled with the fresh mountain air creating almost the sensation of a warm hug. Gabrielle and I felt quite blessed to be there.

We left from Yellowstone and headed across Wyoming--another beautiful state--to South Dakota. We finally parked for the night in Keystone, South Dakota, a cute, little, western-themed town located near Mount Rushmore. Sleeping in the car doesn't  really bother me too much, but it was so hot that night that I found myself wandering a bit and finally stretching out with my pillow on a picnic table. I think one of the biggest lessons of this trip has been just how difficult it must be for someone who doesn't have a home or even a sense of home provided by the consistency of family. I think this aspect of the journey is very much a God-given experience because it's been my heart's desire for a long time to adopt people and provide a sense of home and family and unconditional love. Anyway, we woke up fairly early, freshened up in another gas station, and headed for Mount Rushmore. Because we could see it from the road, and we were pressed for drive time, we did some quick pictures without going into the park and headed across South Dakota. We took the scenic loop through Badlands National Park which was very hot but pretty interesting. We stopped and saw some prairie dogs and took lots of pictures. Then it was back on the road because our final destination was here in Wisconsin to visit one of my oldest (in terms of how long we've been friends) friends.

We've had a wonderful time here. My friend, Luke, and his roommates have been such good hosts, and their kindness was such a ready oasis after three straight days of 15 hours of driving, covering nearly 1800 miles, sleeping in the car for two nights, and having not showered in two days. When we woke up yesterday, we both felt like we'd been hit by a truck. We're pretty exhausted, but yesterday, we had chill day with Luke playing frisbee golf (I am awful!), getting an oil change, and relaxing. I have loved visiting here. These boys have kept me laughing so much and are all just great guys.

Today we head for Chicago to stay one night until we drive to our last stop, a familiar place--the home of our best friend, Anthony. In just 6 days, Gabrielle will be flying off to Turkey! This trip has been unspeakably amazing. We have seen so much, met so many wonderful people, and experienced great things. There are two lessons from this trip that I'd like to share. One comes from Ruthless Trust, a great Brennan Manning book that I just finished.

This trip has really taught me just how much I struggle with being in the moment and not being in a rush to get to the next one. Let me clarify--it is much easier for me to embrace life right here in this moment when I am not the one responsible for current situations. In Honduras, it is incredibly easy for me to be laid back and live each moment to the fullest usually because I haven't had much control over anything. While this will likely not be the case when I move, before, I could just go with the flow and gladly follow. When I am the one who is responsible for making decisions, maintaining money, or ensuring someone else's comfort or safety, I become a completely different person--unnecessarily stressed out, rushed, and constantly over-analyzing. I can recognize this difference in myself, but it has to be the work of God for me to stop these behaviors. I have found that when I am becoming too uptight, I just need to stop thinking and start laughing. I look at my bank account and laugh. I look at the miles we need to cover and laugh. I look at the time and laugh. Brennan Manning hits the nail on the head with some of his wisdom:
Now/here spells nowhere. To be fully present to whoever or whatever is immediately before us is to pitch a tent in the wilderness of Nowhere. It is an act of radical trust--trust that God can be encountered at no other time and in no other place than the present moment. (150)
One  of the fringe benefits of being Nowhere is freedom from concern about our spiritual condition. Being in the now removes us from endless and fruitless self-analysis. (154)
It is through immersion in the ordinary--the apparently empty, trivial, and meaningless experiences of a routine day--that life/Life is encountered and lived. (156)
The other lesson that has completely gripped my heart is what I feel was one of God's pivotal purposes in allowing me to take this trip at all. I have seen some of the most beautiful places the United States has to offer. I have briefly stepped into the lives of people who live in these places. I have been around people of so many different occupations and lifestyles. My point is that God has given me a taste of every childhood dream I had, nearly every life I would've wanted for myself long ago, and has allowed me to experience the wonders, the comforts, and the specialties the US holds. In the process, He has completely captured my heart again. I am so in love with the God who created all of this majesty yet who still loves me intimately and personally. It is because I am so in love with God that in the midst of so much beauty before me, I am gripped in an inexplicable way by the unseen Kingdom, by the unseen purpose, by the story so much greater than my own. I am haunted by the words of Rolland Baker and K.P. Yohannan that cry out for God's people to live with an eternal mindset. I could do anything--I could move to the mountains of Colorado and do freelance writing. I could move to San Diego and be an inner city teacher. I could move to Seattle and work for a nonprofit. But what eternal value would my life hold? I'm not saying that doing those things wouldn't hold any eternal value, especially if they were God's will for me. But, I don't want my life to be centered on what the world has to offer or my own fulfillment and comforts with eternity as a sidenote. That's the whole point of following Jesus--we are called to live differently than the rest of the world. As my good friend, Beth, pointed out when we were in South Carolina, this world is not our home. There is so much more to live for than a job, friends, family, or even the wonder of God's creation. There are so many people who do not know the powerful, all-encompassing, tangible, healing love of Jesus. There are so many people in the world who have never even heard His name! How dare I live for myself? How dare I get spiritually fat on His presence or His love and never move to share that with someone else?

We recently listened to a podcast by K.P. Yohannan where he spoke of a letter he received from a native missionary in India. The missionary met a woman who was sobbing violently on the banks of the Ganges River. When he asked her what was wrong, she told him of her poverty, her husband's struggles, etc., and wailed because she had just offered her only son--a 6-month-old--to the god of the Ganges (by throwing him in) for hope of some relief and the forgiveness of her sins. The missionary told her about Jesus, His love, and the salvation that can be received through Him. The woman accepted Jesus but began to wail again, saying, "Why couldn't you have come to me just a half an hour earlier?! Why couldn't you have told me this earlier to stop me from killing my only beloved son?" This story haunts me and reminds me of my own similar experience last summer that still chills me when I think of it: http://confessionsofaragamuffin.blogspot.com/2010/08/quiero-cambiar.html.
We are His mouthpiece. How else will the world see His love? Are we so callous that we cannot feel the desperation of others who don't know Jesus? I am so convicted and convinced that we will be held accountable for the lives that we lead on this earth. We are free to live for whatever we want, whoever we want. But I don't want to be relevant or important on earth. I want to make a difference in His Kingdom. So even as I'm traveling through redwoods and sunsets, snow-capped mountains and canyons, beaches and deserts, I am captivated by the truth that there is so much more to live for! I don't want to settle for this world before my eyes. There have been so many people who have told Gabrielle and I that they are jealous of our trip or wish they could take a trip like ours or hope to travel across the US someday. It has been amazing; I won't deny it. But I hesitate to tell anyone, "Well, you could do it too" or something similar because I am on this trip because God led me on this trip. He provided the money. He provided the vision. He said go. I would not have been brave enough to go without His leading. Thus, my advice is not that you or anyone else hop in the car and go for fun and adventure. My advice is that in ALL things, seek ye first the kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added. My Papí Alvin often says that Christians really only need two things--a Bible and a passport. He called every single follower of Jesus to be missionaries. The Great Commission is simple. The only question then is where is He leading you to go. Are you willing? I want to be. I don't want to waste my life on the things of this world. I want my heart to break with the things that break my dearest Father's heart, and I want my broken heart to lead me to the darkness to bring light and the fullest life in the emptiest of places.

Lots of love,
Sarah


Standing amidst the snow of Glacier National Park in July!



A glacier in Glacier National Park

A geyser in Yellowstone National Park

Hot springs in Yellowstone

Old Faithful

A rainbow on the road in Wyoming...made my whole day.



A breath-taking sunset in Wyoming

Spokane, Washington

We also visited the International Rose Test Garden in Portland, Oregon. I don't think I've ever seen anyone so excited about flowers as Gabrielle was.

My favorites because they're yellow. They're appropriately called "Welcome Home."

The Space Needle in Seattle



Along the water behind Pike Street Market

 Hello All!
We are currently in Spokane, Washington, visiting Gabrielle's cousins. We sadly didn't spend too much time in Eugene although we did get to visit Voodoo Doughnuts (delicious!) and the Saturday market. I love outdoor markets. There is such a tight-knit sense of community at outdoor markets and such a wide variety of people to watch, food to taste, and aromas to smell. When we got up on Saturday morning, we didn't have anywhere to stay in Portland that night. All the hostels were booked. The only hostel/hotel we could find was going to cost us nearly $200 for two nights. Perplexed, I just left it alone Friday night and just prayed that God would take care of it. I'm not opposed to sleeping in Walmart parking lots, but it's so nice to truly be able to enjoy and explore a place and then have a safe haven for sleeping. The next morning, I randomly googled bed and breakfasts and found a cool website: airbnb.com. It's a place that allows people to post rooms that they are renting out, rates, etc. We found a room in the Hawthorne district of Portland that was reasonable and sent the owner a message trying to reserve it. It was such a toss-up because it was such late notice, but it was only a couple of hours before the owner sent us a message back letting us know we could stay there. I was so grateful that God provided that place.

The first night in Portland, we just hung around the Hawthorne district which is a really cool place. The owner of the Casa Laurita where we stayed told us that the Hawthorne district is kind of the last of the districts to still preserve its independently owned shops, restaurants, etc. and not have many chains. We ate dinner at a Thai place and walked around. Nearly everyone in Portland dresses oddly. It was cool to be around so many hippies. I texted my dad at one point and said, "The hippies in Portland have stolen my heart," and his reply, in typical Joe fashion, was "Well, you should get it back before they smoke it." I love my dad. We went to Powell's books which I've been told is the largest independently owned bookstore in the country (something like that). It was like heaven. I have a major problem with book buying. I dislike spending money in general and hate spending money on myself, but there is a soft spot in my heart for books. As I waited for Gabrielle, I had a random kid approach me and ask for a buck. His ride had left without him, and he was pretty distraught. When I gladly gave him what he had asked for, he asked me if he could give me a hug, and he did (and not a creepy one either). It blessed my heart more than I can express.

On Sunday, we went to Imago Dei Community--a church that I first read about in Donald Miller's Blue Like Jazz. I have to be honest and say that when I first read that book, I was in the initial stages of struggling with church, and when Donald Miller described Imago Dei, I wanted so badly to go there. It helped me maintain a hope in church even if only for a little while. So, when I realized that we'd be in Portland for a Sunday, I was excited to attend. Remembering the wonder of Celebration of Life Church in Port Arthur, Texas, and how much of a blessing it was to stay with someone from that church, I wondered if we might find someone from Imago Dei (which is supposed to be very community-centered) to stay with. The other churches we've been to--especially mega churches--leave us feeling like invisible islands. We come in, we have our own private moments with God, but it isn't often that anyone says two words to us. There are no relationships formed. It's like trying to pry your way into social circles in middle school--not worth it when you're just a fly on the wall passing through. But, in a leap of faith, despite the fact that I hate asking anyone for anything, I emailed the pastor, gave him a rundown of our story and how I'm moving to Honduras, and humbly asked if he knew anyone in the congregation who might be willing to let us stay for two nights. I received an email shortly thereafter from his personal assistant telling me that my best bet was to place an ad on the Imago Dei Google group page. I thought, "Absolutely not," but out of curiosity, I visited the page and was interested by just how many postings by people in need were left without replies. I won't lie--simply because of how truly difficult it is for me to ask people for help and because this was supposed to be my brothers and sisters in Christ I was asking--I was quite bothered by that response. I struggle with big institutions, when people become numbers and sharing becomes a job. I know that a lot of times God does allow ministries, etc. to grow, but I am so scared of ever reaching a place where I am not willing to stop for the one person in front of me requiring my help. I would rather be quiet, in the shadows, in obscurity, and attentive to the one person in front of me than famous, powerful, on a pedestal, and untouchable by the masses. At any rate, we still went to Imago. Initially, I was not at all feeling the service. Worship is always an indicator to me of the heart of a church and where the community, the work, and the fruit originates, and it was so short. Not to be gross, but to me, worship like that seems like what it must be like when a wife gets her husband all worked up with a few kisses and anticipation only to leave the bedroom to do the dishes. It's such a tease.

The message, however, was good. A church planter from Los Angeles spoke on Galatians 4:12. He talked about how true Christians really should understand that Christianity has no culture. Christians should be the most unswerving, steadfast people when it comes to the Gospel and the truth of the Bible and the most flexible, chill, and understanding persons when it comes to loving and being with other people. Too often, Christians are either too chill and compromise the truth of the Gospel and don't impact anyone around them (because they are no different), or they are too rigid and try to force others to become just like them. This man gave me Biblical basis for something I've found to be true time and time again--we, as Christians, must be willing to become like the ones we wish to reach while still personally refusing to compromise the Bible.

Anyway, we spent the rest of the afternoon having a picnic and quiet day in Laurelhurst Park. It was very nice. On Monday, we drove up to Seattle. Gabrielle has a few cousins who live in Seattle. They were all so very kind and showed us around and gave us a place to stay. We like Seattle a lot. At one point, we were in Pike Street Market and came across a street-performing a capella group called A Moment in Time. Their song was exactly what I needed. Sometimes, my mind gets so jumbled with thoughts and decisions and scenarios especially in relation to moving that I forget the simplicity of God's leading. The song they sang was one I'd never heard before, "I Made a Step." I can't seem to find the lyrics in totality, but here are some excerpts:
If you make one step, He'll make two
There ain't no limit to what God can do
If you go, don't worry about yourself
All you have to do is make a step
While the message is simple, I felt it in the middle of Pike Street Market. It was a special moment. It was as if God was reminding me that no, I don't have any control over various situations or other people and don't even have a concept of what to expect, but all He is asking me to do is make a step. I have to be willing to blindly put one foot in front of the other. I don't have to have it all figured out.

We left Seattle on Wednesday and came to Spokane where the rest of Gabrielle's cousins live. They have also been so kind to us. (It was so bizarre to begin driving east for the first time in this trip.) Gabrielle and I are pretty sure that the road has finally caught up with us as we were absolutely exhausted today. We crashed for most of the day. It's been quite a while since we've been in a place where we had the comforts of a home and didn't have to be on the go. This evening was so wonderful. The Bartlett family had a barbecue, and everyone was over. I can't express how it blessed my heart to be around such a loving family who was so accepting of me even though we aren't really related. Being around the Bartletts, laughing and joking with them and watching the entertainment of their wonderful grandchildren, was such a blessing and also made me so homesick for Honduras and just for family in general. I miss my immediate family greatly, and I also miss my adopted family in Honduras.

Gabrielle and I both agreed that the places that have brought the most rest to our souls were those homes where people were so secure in themselves that they were willing to love and accept us effortlessly. In those families, we don't feel as if we owe anything or as if there are expectations lingering over our heads. In those families, we don't feel obligated or like we're inconveniencing anyone. We just enjoy the presence of others and act as one of the family. It's unconscious and overwhelming and beautiful. As previously mentioned, I think that the interaction of people on this trip has taught me the greatest lessons. I have learned in greater depth not just what hospitality and generosity look like but what it means to treat everyone like family--how healing that can be to a soul. It's something I want to be a part of in increasing measures for the rest of my life. I want every single person who comes in contact with me to feel at home--comfortable in his or her own skin, warmed by unconditional love, and secure. To be that kind of person, I have to allow myself to be all of those things in God' presence. Easier said than done, but so worth it.

Tomorrow, we head to Missoula, Montana to stay with another cousin we haven't seen in forever. It's unbelievable to realize that we have been on the road for a month and half, and we only have less than two weeks to go. It's bittersweet--we're tired, but we've had a wonderful time and have grown a lot. I feel like a much stronger person, much more prepared to move, and much more dependent on God.

Anyway, niños, it is late here, and we hit the road again tomorrow, so that's all for now.
Much love,
Sarah

Eugene, Oregon

Hello from Eugene, Oregon!
We left San Francisco and headed to Yosemite National Park. It was phenomenal. We were there only one night, but it was a wonderful. We didn't have any firewood and were tired by the time the tent was up, so I opened up what I had been excited about all day--a can of black refried beans in lime juice for dinner. While it may sound silly, eating that cold right out of the can by flashlight was one of my favorite meals of the entire trip. It tasted like Honduras home. It's the beauty of simplicity that brings me down to my knees. I would post pictures from Yosemite, especially the falls because they were so amazing, but my memory card messed up and lost all of those pictures. So, until I get Gabrielle's pictures, I don't have any from Yosemite. After Yosemite, we headed to Lake Tahoe near Zephyr Cove, Nevada. We had gotten the last site at the Nevada Beach Campground. It was so lovely! We arrived around sunset which we admired and photographed. Then we headed out for some of the best sushi I've had in my life--an Ava roll which consists cream cheese, avocado, shrimp tempura, raw salmon, and lemon. It was so good.

We enjoyed Lake Tahoe for the day (Gabrielle got so burnt because she feel asleep in the sun) and then headed for Redding, California--a halfway point between Lake Tahoe and the Redwood National Parks. We slept in a Walmart parking lot. You haven't lived until you've slept and shaved your legs in a Walmart parking lot. ;) I'm pretty sure my hippie transformation is complete. We passed through the magnificent redwood forests taking the Pacific Highway scenic route--amazing! The Pacific Ocean is astounding. I love watching those waves. The redwood trees are amazing. It cracks me up that we, as human beings, are so impressed with ourselves, but yet, we'll still drive thousands of miles to look at trees...to look at God's creation.

We finally arrived in Eugene last night around 10:30 PM or so, and we were tired. After camping and car sleeping, we were so excited to sleep in a bed, and we, somehow or another, ended up in a private room which was great because I didn't pay for a private room. We also had our first showers in two days which was also really exciting. You learn to appreciate the little things when you don't reliably have them. The Eugene Whiteaker International Hostel here is really cool. I love staying in hostels. There is just such a cool environment; it is very hippie. Right now, I'm sitting in a room with fresh flowers, homemade art, numerous international accents, and NPR blares. Oregon, thus far, is what I would have expected--very green, very organic, very hippie. I like it. I'm so grateful to be here. For whatever reason, I've wanted to visit Oregon for a long time--perhaps due to fascination with Donald Miller books, I don't know.

At any rate, I am learning much on this trip. I think it is really wonderful how God is allowing me to take this trip because it's like He's showing me all of my options, reminding me that I don't have to move to Honduras. He'd love me regardless of what I'd choose, but the majesty of the Rockies, the glint of Lake Tahoe, the warmth of Pacific Beach, the eccentricity of Austin, the character of New Orleans, and the grandeur of the Grand Canyon could never match up to the deep love God's placed in my heart for Honduras. I feel so blessed that I get to take this trip, but I am even more blessed that my final destination is home in Honduras where I can live among my family, the orphans, the poor, and the reckless. I can't wait.

Recently, I've been reading Ruthless Trust by Brennan Manning. It's good stuff especially as I'm looking at my sense of control and security dwindle. He uses a quotation from Mother Teresa that stuck with me:
Clarity is the last thing you're clinging to and must let go of. . . . I have never had clarity; what I have always had is trust. So I will pray that you trust God." It's so true. There are so many elements of my life that are up in the air right now. It's so cool to be staying in hostels because I love the sense of community and adopted family, and I think it's one of the things that will stick with me the most from this trip. I want a home someday that I can share with others. I want to provide a sense of home to others. Many of the things that I feel like God  has laid upon my heart are all unclear as to how or when or any of the details really, but rather than longing for clarity, I want to place my eyes on Jesus and trust.

Here are some more good excerpts from Ruthless Trust:
We often presume that trust will dispel the confusion, illuminate the darkness, vanquish the uncertainty, and redeem the times. But the crowd of witnesses in Hebrews 11 testifies that this is not the case. Our trust does not bring final clarity on this earth. It does not still the chaos or dull the pain or provide a crutch. When all else is unclear, the heart of trust says, as Jesus did on the cross, "Into your hands I commit my spirit."

So often what is notoriously missing from the external, mechanized concept of salvation is self-acceptance, an experience that is internally personalized and rooted in the acceptance of Jesus Christ. It bids good riddance to unhealthy guilt, shame, remorse, and self-hatred. Anything less--self-rejection in any form--is a manifest sign of a lack of trust in the total sufficiency of Jesus' saving work. Has he set me free from fear of the Father and dislike of myself, or has he not? . . . Unbounded trust in the merciful love of the redeeming God deals a mortal blow to skepticism, cynicism, self-condemnation, and despair.

The way of trust is a movement into obscurity, into the undefined, into ambiguity, not into some predetermined, clearly delineated plan for the future. The next step discloses itself only out of a discernment of God acting in the desert of the present moment. The reality of naked trust is the life of a pilgrim who leaves what is nailed down, obvious, and secure, and walks into the unknown without any rational explanation to justify the decision or guarantee the future. Why? Because God has signaled the movement and offered it his presence and his promise.

The antithesis of giving thanks is grumbling. The grumblers live in a state of self-induced stress.I have learned much about myself during this trip, and much of it relates to just what a wounded spirit I am. I find myself in the pressure of "responsibility" wondering how it's all going to work out. I am a very analytical person. Gabrielle and I joke that my brain is like a GPS--I am constantly thinking in sequence and steps, and when a new obstacle or situation arises, I must re-evaluate all of the options and factors and recalculate my intended plan of action. Because of my personality and my upbringing, I am nearly obsessed with making the best decision at any given time. I am very realistic and cautious--definitely a thinker before jumping into anything. I hate wasting anything--time or money. I hate inconveniencing others. I hate the possibility that I am not being the absolute best steward with what God has given me. All of these things can be quite frustrating to me because when any of these characteristics are not approached with trust in God and outweigh my security in His grace and love, I am overwhelmed by how much I dislike myself and how I can't do anything to fix myself. It's exhausting. There have been so many times on this trip where I have been drowning in this frustration and the fear that I am going to fail God, and God gently reminds me, "But, I like the way you are." Sometimes, I forget that He made me, and many of the very aspects of myself that I cannot change that irritate me because they often irritate others are actually balanced characteristics that can be useful for His Kingdom. I must remind myself often that God gave me the freedom to fail. He already knows that I'm not going to be the best steward. I have no possible way of making the best decisions of my own volition because I cannot see the bigger picture. His love and provision are THANKFULLY not dependent on me at all. I am reminded of a podcast by Jason Upton that we listened to early in our trip. He was working in the garage, and his young son wanted to help him. He asked his son to hold some screws, but it wasn't long before the screws were all over the floor. Later, Jason was on a plane, and God said to him, "You know you don't help Me, right? But what I like about you is the same thing you like about your son, Sam." And Jason determined that what God likes is that Jason has the desire to help God. I don't help God, but I am so blessed to know that my deep desire to help Him blesses His heart. So, I am learning to trust, to believe that He loves me, to be grateful, and to lose.

In other thoughts, I thought I'd share some road quirks which are now mundane to us but may make for amusing reading:
*I wonder how many pounds of trail mix we will have consumed by the time this trip is over. We are so sick of dried fruit and nuts, my goodness.
*We are mildly obsessed with coconut water.
*We constantly have these little freakout moments of "Where are the keys?!" or "What did I do with my wallet?! Oh my goodness." I no longer commit to an emotional response because it always works out.
*Since probably Louisiana or so, we've only seen one other WV license plate although lots of Virginians like to stop and say hello.
*We have trouble with coolers. Our first one got a hole in the bottom. The one we have now has a broken lid. Super glue ate the Styrofoam away and made the whole cooler smell bad. Bahaha.
*We love Rolland Baker's creepy laugh when we listen to his podcasts. (The latest one was called something to the effect of The Greatest Weapon.) It makes us laugh so much just listening to it. Sometimes, it sounds like he's having sex with the microphone on state. Too funny!
*Our friend, Habip, who we met in San Diego calls or texts us everyday to check on us and to tell us that he wishes he was with us. We love sweet Habip.
*Bugs love to dive bomb our windshield.
*We hate it when we almost hit squirrels.
*When Gabrielle is tired of driving (while she's the one driving), she starts playing with her face unconsciously and accidentally driving over rumble strips. When I am tired of driving (while I'm the one driving), I run stop signs.
*Oddly enough, Gabrielle has had more and worse sunburns than me.
*We have eaten great food! Creole, Cajun, Indian, Asian, Jewish, Southern, Mexican, Honduran, and Tex-Mex just to name a few. We eat in little hippie cafes the most.

Well, that's all for now.

Sunset at Lake Tahoe

My view while laying on the beach at Lake Tahoe

Lake Tahoe



If tree hugging were an Olympic sport...



The Pacific Ocean along Highway 101 near the Redwood National Parks

Lots of love,
Sarah