And They'll Know We Are Christians by Our Love (June Update)

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez

Hello All,

COVID-19 and Provision Update
I want to start by just giving you an update on what life is looking like in light of COVID. I was pretty astounded when I looked back at last month's newsletter and realized that we have jumped up over 6,000 cases in one month. In some ways, that is not surprising since we've seen how quickly this spreads and have had the example of other parts of the world. At the same time, it feels bizarre because--at least on paper--we have been on lockdown for three months. Our hospital system here was dangerously fragile to begin with, but it is collapsed at this point. A lot of the private hospitals won't treat COVID patients, but even the most expensive hospital here that does is at full capacity. The public hospitals are overflowing with patients. Many medical personnel are infected. There is a serious lack of medical supplies like oxygen, medicine, PPE, and ventilators. Nurses in various parts of the city are on strike today specifically because they don't have what they need. We saw the same kinds of things happening in the US and other parts of the world, so we know that this isn't confined to here. But, this is taking place in a country already overrun by government corruption and a kind of hopelessness and inevitability that the poor will suffer at the hands of their leaders that settles in over the nation like a blanket. People read headlines or embassy announcements about money and provision being sent in from other countries, but they aren't seeing in materialize in their reality. To be honest, it feels a bit like we sacrificed three months shut up in our homes for nothing, but there is no way to quantitatively determine that. I imagine that we did probably prevent the inevitable from happening sooner. But there was no point in buying time if the hospitals weren't going to be able to prepare more. So, we are currently at 8,858 cases with 967 recoveries and 312 deaths. The desperation from the medical community is palpable but so is the desperation of those who are hungry after months without work.

The missionary community here has made a lot of intentional effort to work together to make sure that people are being fed; that kind of unity in purpose is encouraging. Yet, there are still communities especially in mountainous or rural areas that are suffering greatly just because of their geographic location. There are no governmental safety nets. In our area, the government has only been to distribute one bag of food per family twice in three months. As a ministry, we have continued to distribute provision bags with Raúl doing almost all of the work. We are currently at 145 provision bags distributed with the plan this week to send some provisions to a transition home for boys run by a pastor friend. We have been blessed by the generosity of many of you who have helped make this ongoing distribution possible. We are making a small dent in the need, but it's a bag of food that does matter to the hand who receives it. Raúl was moved to tears the other day as he told me how thankful he is that finances can be sent to people like Lindsey and myself that can supply for the needs of his hurting countrymen. He mentioned his own memories of how his single mom had to stretch one egg to feed seven people and knows personally the relief that people feel when they receive food for their families. He also told me yesterday of a particular moment that left a mark on him whenever he was distributing food. A little boy who sells bread in our neighborhood has been on our food distribution list for the duration of this quarantine. His father hasn't been able to work, and his mother hasn't been selling bread either. Children are not allowed out of the house right now. When Raúl arrived with the bag of food to the little boy's house, he was told that his mother had just been commenting to the neighbor that she was nearly out of food and didn't know what she was going to do. When Raúl gave them the food, she said that God really did answer her prayers and cared about her needs. Friends, we can't ask for more than this. We care about these people and their hunger, and we also care about their souls and leading them to Jesus and His love for them. This story encouraged us greatly. He is moving through our faithfulness.

Birthday Recap
Raúl and I both celebrated our birthdays last month. So many friends and family members took the time to send us encouraging and loving messages, and we both felt so very seen and richly blessed with the community in our lives (even in the midst of physical isolation). Thank you to all of those who took the time to think of us and make our birthdays special. They were special days in the midst of trying times.

Compassionate Listening
I also just want to mention that while we are physically far away from the US, we are aware and care about what is going on in the US (and other parts of the world) in regard to race. Sometimes, I feel like people in the US often don't know just how much the rest of the world is watching. There is so much hurting going on, and my heart aches for that. I feel very overwhelmed, and I also feel such a wave of grief over how we, as humans, treat one another. This isn't something to cheapen by reducing it to politics. This is too complex of an experience to choose a one-dimensional side. This is a human issue. There is a lot of change that needs to happen, and this current boiling point has been a long time coming. What encourages me is that there is also conversation. I am witnessing much more intentionality in education, listening, and dialogue, and I think that's an excellent starting point. I have said previously that I believe that humility needs to be our guide as we move forward in discerning how to heal so much hurt and how to compassionately bring awareness. I was listening to this conversation this morning and what stood out for me was the importance of letting ourselves be softened. One of the reasons why I have been taking my time to voice my thoughts or feelings in regard to Black Lives Matter or protesting or even just the role that race has played in my own life is 1) because I want to have the humility recognize that my voice is not the one that needs heard the loudest right now and 2) I want to invest in longevity in the conversation and reconciliation of race in relationships. To be honest, because I do like to be aware of what's going on in the world and especially my home country, I often was aware of many of the other cases of African American lives that were infuriatingly and needlessly lost as a result of seeds of fear that are rooted in racism--ingrained or outright. But, I struggled with what to do with that information even though it broke my heart because I always want to be a part of the solution. I don't want to add to the noise, and I feel like a lot of my calling is to be a bridge and find ways to see hard situations from different angles in order to find common ground in relationship. (I'm always playing devil's advocate with my family--I think it drives them nuts.) But, I am learning that not making a decision to be brave in initiating intentional dialogue is still a decision, and silence can be just as hurtful as taking a stand that ends up needing to mature. I don't want to just jump on a bandwagon because this isn't the latest in the news cycle; this is life and reality for my beloved fellow men and women day in and day out. I want to dig deep into what God is saying about how much He loves and cares about the African American community and about His very diverse creation. To do that, I have to let myself sit in the overwhelm and heartbreak, try to feel from the point of view of my brothers and sisters of color, and start to have hard conversations and ask deep questions. Raúl and I, being of two different races, have starting having a lot of these conversations especially in light of knowing that our someday children will be thrust into so many paradoxical situations that will be directly affected by race. We want to be intentional as future parents (this is not a pregnancy announcement) but also intentional as the Body of Christ to be a vessel of love and respect and understanding to all parties. We want to be able to have the maturity to put ourselves in someone else's shoes. We may come to the conclusion, "I get it, but I don't agree with it," but that, in and of itself, is not wasted because it leads to compassion and common ground. We have seen it and lived it in our own marriage, and we know the importance of compassionate listening without the walls of an agenda already formed. Obviously, there are a lot of passionate thoughts on this topic for me, and I will be processing them in a more public way at some point. But, for now, I am leaning into the softening of my heart by the Holy Spirit. I am being intentional in letting the Holy Spirit examine my own heart, and I'm seeking to have better, deeper conversations on this subject.

Playlists
Lindsey and I have continued to worship together, and I have found it to be something that keeps me grounded. When I am feeling overwhelmed and a feeling of hopelessness is creeping in, worship is what brings me back to the foundation of hope in the Author and Finisher of this story--both my own and of humanity's. Here are some of our playlists from the past month:

Not Alone - A lot of the direction I have felt pulled in recently in worship is putting myself in the shoes of others. Letting music be a launch pad for feeling what other people might feel and praying from their perspective. This playlist is both for any of us who have been asking where God is in the midst of so much and also for those of us who aren't grappling with that but want to love well those who are.

My Redeemer by Lindsey - God is our Redeemer who not only sees us right where we are, but He comes to rescue us from slavery and captivity. He will continue to redeem our lives and the world from its sickness, injustice, and fear.

No Place I Would Rather Be - If God is asking us to be broken and to sit with Him and His suffering world, can we sing out with our whole heart that there is no place that we'd rather be? Will we choose to be with Him even when being with Him means feeling His pain and the pain of our brothers and sisters?

We Are One When We Honor One Another - This list is also meant for developing empathy. It's an opportunity to put ourselves in the experiences of others, to remind ourselves of the hurt and the need for redemption of our history, and to honor the voices of black worshipers who carry a legacy of worshiping God in the midst of injustice, oppression, and pain. Can we learn to see the rejected Jesus in the hurts of our fellow mankind? Can we learn to hear how His heart cries out for the blood shed by His beloved sons and daughters? Can we humbly turn our eyes upon Him in our brokenness to teach us how to heal and how to love one another better?


All of My Love,
Sarah

Eat the Whole Lamb

Photo by Debby Hudson

Hello friends! 

I pray that each of you is staying safe and also sane. Life here hasn’t changed much from the last update, but we continue to seek the Lord and to grow. One of the things God has been drawing me back to in studying the Word is just how thoughtful of an Author He is. The symbolism He has weaved into His story with humanity is astounding, yet we often gloss over it because we’ve become well-acquainted with the Bible. I have been studying especially the rules for the Passover meal and also the symbolism within Biblical Jewish weddings. I believe that the invitation that has been extended to us in this time (but also for the coming season) is to eat the whole lamb as they did in Passover. What I mean by that is to go deeper in relationship with Jesus and to choose to partake of His suffering and not just His victory. He already made the sacrifice, but I believe that our calling as Christians is to take up our cross and follow Him. Part of following Him is entering into the suffering of others as He did. This is also what it means to begin to walk as the Bride of Christ. In a marriage that lasts, a wife walks with her love through both victory and suffering. We do know how the story ends and who wins, but in the meantime, there are so many in this world suffering deeply who do not. While many of us feel discomfort or inconvenienced during this time, there are those who are truly suffering—with starvation, with illness, with depression, with hopelessness. There is a side of Jesus we will never know, an intimacy we cannot enter into, unless we’re willing to drink His cup of suffering alongside Him (and alongside those His heart breaks for). I am asking the Lord how I can do this well. In considering this theme, we recently had a worship night that centered around the idea of Communion and partaking of Jesus' body and blood, sharing in His life and allowing His life to sustain us. If you're interested in that playlist, here it is: Communion.

COVID-19 Update and Provision Bags

Life has continued on lockdown here. Today marks two months of stay-at-home orders. Two weeks ago, as the US began rolling out plans for re-opening, our restrictions got tightened. Before people were allowed to go out once a week based on the last digit of their ID number. That got changed to once every two weeks. We will find out tomorrow if that measure will continue or be lifted. We currently have 2,460 cases, 134 deaths, and 264 recoveries. The economic situation is dire for many people, so we (and so many other missionaries) have continued to distribute food provisions. Our budget as an NGO is small, so at times, it feels we are merely a drop in a bucket. Yet, we have been able to distribute a bit over 80 family provisions so far with 30 more being bagged up in the next couple of days (for 110 total). Those bags include Honduran staples like rice, beans, spaghetti, tomato paste, eggs, coffee, sugar, vegetable shortening, and corn flour. There are no government safety nets here nor food banks, so many people are truly surviving on the generosity of others and the faithfulness of the Church. And Raúl truly deserves a shout-out in this time. He doesn't always consider himself a missionary in the same way that I do just because he also has a job and is a business owner. But, there is no way that we could be distributing food without all of the work that Raúl does in tracking down where to buy the items, negotiating prices, standing in line to purchase items, and being the one to distribute most of the bags. His business has also been contributing to the costs of purchasing the items. It is getting more and more difficult to find certain items because food is being distributed by many NGOs and ministries and missionaries. The prices of many staples like beans are also rising, but we will continue to do the best we can with what we have where we are. We so appreciate your faithfulness in friendship to us. God has been so gracious to us during this time through divine provision and through our both being able to continue working. We commit to stewarding all of His blessings as best as we can.























Blessings from Heaven

I think everyone in Tegucigalpa breathed a joyous, collective sigh of relief whenever the rains started here. The smoke blanketing Honduras could be seen from space (not an exaggeration), and the need for water was getting very real. Missionaries texted each other back and forth, and social media blew up with videos of rain as we got our first real downpour in months. Since then, rain has continued to be in the forecast, and while we haven't reached the stage of the rainy season where it rains every day, we have felt the relief from the smoke! During the last month, many homes and missionary properties were threatened by massive wildfires. Many people had to work through the night to fight the fires, yet God was gracious in sparing many of the properties of our friends. And, it also is just a welcome change of scenery. There is something hopeful in the change of the seasons as life is mostly confined to the same four walls. The green is returning to our surroundings.

We hope that all of you are doing well and still feeling grace and favor in your lives despite how we're all adapting and learning in this time. If you ever have any prayer requests that you would like us to pray for, feel free to send them my way at sarah.crickenberger@gmail.com.

All of My Love,
Sarah

God of Covenant

Hello All,

I want to start just by getting you all up to speed as to the developments in life over the past month. I know it's not going to necessarily be too different from what most of the rest of the world is dealing with in some measure or another. But, we appreciate that even in the midst of your own upheaval that you're still keeping track of us and thinking of us. Please know that we are thinking of you and praying for you as well!

On March 11th, Honduras reported its first confirmed case of COVID-19, and things quickly started to shift. Traffic the following day was crazy as people rushed out to panic buy at the stores. On the 15th, Honduras closed its borders and declared that, starting the 16th, all non-essential businesses were shut down. Since then, we have been in some form of lockdown. Currently, the established system is that people can circulate one day a week based on the last digit of their ID numbers to buy groceries, go to the gas stations or the pharmacy, etc. Police are set up in checkpoints to verify that those circulating are those assigned to do so, and they have been taking people prisoner or confiscating vehicles in some cases when people are not following the rules or haven't obtained the legal paperwork needed to be on the roads on an off-day. Currently, our lockdown is set to expire tomorrow, but it is very possible that it will be renewed as it has the last couple of times that a decree was set to expire. As of right now, Honduras has 457 confirmed cases. Of those 457, ten have recovered and 46 have passed away. In comparison to much of the rest of Central America, our COVID-19 death rate is astoundingly high.

During this time, Honduras has been in its dry season. Last year, we had a drought as a result of El Niño and received very little water during what usually is our rainy season. Water has been rationed since then, and it's been an ongoing issue especially for the poor. Our rainy season usually does not begin until the middle of May, so we still have a ways to go. Because it is so dry in March and April, this is also the time when forest fires become a problem. It's infuriating that people start these fires whether on purpose or on accident. I struggle with irrational anger about people burning their garbage when 1) it is so dry and 2) there are people battling a virus that affects the respiratory system. But, this is reality. As of right now, there are many large fires burning in various parts of Tegucigalpa and Honduras. It has threatened homes and the properties of some missionary friends, and we had a fire about a month ago that was burning the hillside across from our house. Thankfully, it was put out when we received a quick burst of unexpected rain. The city has been blanketed in smoke, and the heat right now is pretty miserable.

In the midst of all of this, a lot of people in Honduras are hungry. Many Hondurans don't just live paycheck to paycheck. They live day by day, and not being able to work all this time has meant not having food at all because there is no government safety net for unemployment. Most of the missionaries I know are doing their part to take care of the people in their communities, ministries, and spheres of influence. Raúl, Lindsey, and I have been doing the same. While it feels like such a small dent in so much need, we have been able to distribute 50 bags of provisions so far and will continue to do so as long as there are funds and this lockdown continues. A great challenge that we have been facing is a shortage of many staple items. Many places are gouging prices, or they are not letting anyone buy in bulk and limiting how many items one individual can buy. Because our neighbor and ministry friend, Alvin Anderson, has continued to give out food on a very large scale to street kids and in numerous marginalized communities in various parts of Honduras, he has also been able to help us track down the items needed to make our own provision bags. Even so, it has been taking about a week to track down and accumulate all of the items, and we have been trying to support smaller Honduran businesses as much as possible. While we recognize that people across the world are really struggling, and we want to be sensitive to that, we also just want to be honest about how we've been conducting ministry through relief during this time and at least make you aware of how you can contribute if you would feel led to do so. Currently, funds can be received in the form of a check made out to GodSend, Inc. A separate note should be included indicating that it is for provisions in Honduras, and it can be send to:
GodSend, Inc.
1608 Boulder Road
Buckhannon, WV 26201

Another online option is through GodSend's website: godsendinc.org by clicking on the Donate button at the bottom of the home page and donating via PayPal or a debit or credit card.
If you donate through this method, please include a note that your donation is for provisions in Honduras. GodSend, Inc. is an IRS-recognized 501(c)3 organization.

Raúl and I have been fine. Raúl has continued to work some during this time. While a tire shop may not seem essential, it soon becomes essential when the tractor trailers carrying food or the water tankers carrying water or the policemen patrolling the streets have flat tires. We have been blessed by his continued income which has also helped us in distributing food to others, and I have been able to continue to do some online teaching in the early mornings. We are stocked up and truly have been blessed to have everything that we need. Our trip to the US for April 28 was cancelled by Delta as we figured that it would be. The US embassy has been working to evacuate many US citizens and residents, but Raúl and I have opted to stay put because we are able to be a blessing to people in need of food here that we wouldn't be able to do from the US. We do appreciate your prayers in regard to Raúl's immigration situation. The stamp in his passport will expire on May 1. This means that he will either need to receive his green card at my parents' house and have it brought down here before we can travel again, or we will have to go through the process of getting a returning visa/paperwork for him through the embassy. This is not our ideal scenario, but given the options, we are still missionaries who feel called to serve the people of Honduras. So, we will trust that God will open doors and give favor as needed. We do plan to travel to the US later in the year, but that will be contingent upon how all of this worldwide situation develops and on how we are able to proceed with his needed immigration paperwork.

Throughout this time, a lot of what we have been doing is worship. Lindsey and I created playlists for 17 days that we sent out or posted on YouTube and Facebook for anyone interested. And, while that wasn't sustainable to continue to do every day, worship has still been a priority. So we do plan to make a weekly playlist. (Anyone interested in receiving those to your inbox can send me an e-mail at sarah.crickenberger@gmail.com.) Here is this week's playlist:
Covenant

God's story with humanity has always revolved around covenant. In this time of uncertainty for the future, grieving of normal life and losses, and seeking His perspective in the midst of traumatic circumstances, one thing that we can count on is that He is still a God of covenant. I have been marveling recently that my word for this year is "promise." In some ways, it seems like such a weird word for a year that has seemed hijacked by panic and fear and crazy circumstances. But, I think that's exactly why it is the timely word for this year. His promises are still true despite it all, and in the face of economic downturn, illness, pain, and death, through the eyes of God, who sees all of eternity at once, this year still has promise. This isn't just about some Christianese cliche that we tell ourselves. We have built relationship and history with God (and if you haven't done so yet, now is as good of a time to start as any!). We don't have to look any further than our own lives to see how good and full of hope He is. I have been re-reading my journals from 11 years ago, and I have been amazed by how far He's brought me. We have walked through so much pain, illness, rejection, financial need, betrayal, loss, and tears together. The fact that He has sustained me through all of that tells me that He isn't done with humanity yet. My life--however small it may be--is a testimony to His leading and to His mercy and to His goodness. Part of worship for me in this time has been trying not to despise the waiting but to use it well. It's okay that we don't have answers yet. It's okay to just be with Him today. That's His most prominent promise--He will not leave us or forsake us. He didn't promise us that we wouldn't suffer. But, He did promise that He has (as Jesus) and will continue to walk right beside us through it all. It's through His covenant with us through His blood that we have received salvation and direct, personal relationship. The same God who made a covenant with Abraham, with Noah, with Jacob, and with David among so many others is the same God of covenant today. He has always been fighting for humanity. He has always been for us. I take encouragement in that today. I hope you can as well.

All my love,
Sarah

The Invitation to Be Still and Know

Photo by Robert Bye

Hello All,

Yesterday felt very high anxiety, so while I did write my normal monthly newsletter that gets sent out by snail mail, I did not write a blog as is my habit. I have a general rule for myself to publish when I have made some sense of my own internal situations, and there was just a lot happening yesterday.

To start, I do want to give you an update of what's been going on over this last month. We have continued to have worship nights both on Mondays at my house and on Wednesdays in Ciudad España. Mondays have been a sweet time of just communing with God's presence, praying over Honduras, and listening to the Lord and His leading. Wednesdays have been a period of time of discipleship and teaching what worship and intercession are, and we've been encouraged to see more and more participation from those present. Now we are entering a chapter of handing over the preparations of worship night little by little to the Honduran leaders in the ministry. All of this shift has been the result of learning to listen well and ask good questions of Jen, the director of the ministry, One Day Revival, in Ciudad España. It's a unique experience partnering with ministries that have laid the foundations, and Lindsey and I are learning what our roles may be in future partnerships with other ministries as well. Relationship is important. Listening is important. And we want to be investing in unity, good communication, and humility as iron sharpens iron.

For those of you who have been along with us for a while, you know that we haven't heard from Marvin in quite a while. Marvin is one of the young men that I visited in Teen Challenge who came to live with me for a period of time. The last time we saw him was at our wedding nearly three years ago. A while after that, he was arrested for stealing and has been in prison since then. We used to be able to visit inmates, but the Honduran government changed the requirements for visitors. In general, one must be a blood-related relative, preferably with the same last name, and even then must obtain a lot of legal paperwork to be able to enter. And ministries are having to pay thousands of lempiras to be able to obtain permission to enter even for ministerial purposes. So, we haven't seen or heard from Marvin in years. Recently, we received word that he was moved to a prison a few hours from us and would have a window of time to receive visitors who aren't family and don't have the needed paperwork. (This happens when an prisoner is moved to give the family time to obtain the necessary paperwork.) The person who notified us where Marvin was also sent me a photo of a letter he wrote to me. He asked for forgiveness and also for help since he will be getting out soon. I am honestly not sure how we will be able to help him, but we are prayerfully considering what options we could connect him to. This is also why we had planned to go visit him--to be of encouragement and see our kid we haven't seen in so long, but to also get a sense of where he is in his heart. Unfortunately, this the onset of COVID-19, visitations to the prisons have all been cancelled.

Administrative tasks have been especially demanding in this season for me. While it took longer than normal this year, we were able to finally submit our annual financial and activity reports to the Honduran government. In addition to this, we have also been preparing our tax information for our accountant. This year is the first year that Raúl has to file taxes because he is now a permanent resident in the US. Trust me when I say our case has so many aspects to consider that I am so thankful for tax professionals who can give us insight and wisdom.

This month also included a lot of community meals and cooking for others. In an effort to get to know each other better in ministry, we have made efforts to do more of life together in ways that aren't overtly ministerial. So that has looked like game nights, movie nights, and birthday celebrations--times when we can relax, talk, and enjoy each other's company. One of the things I most thank the Lord for in this time of life is how richly He has blessed me with community. I feel surrounded by some truly great people, and I do not take it for granted in light of previous seasons that were so terribly lonely.

All in all, it's been a good month even though it has felt very busy and overwhelming at times. Because of the busyness of this year so far, I did start to feel like God was asking me to take a step back to re-evaluate my time and priorities. As an introvert, I need to do this periodically and intentionally anyway. When I start to get into a mode of "I'm just busy and overwhelmed because of these extra things; when those things are over, I'll slow down," I should see the red flag. And, quite frankly, I've been saying that for three months, and it hasn't slowed down yet. There have been some life-giving things that have continuously been getting pushed to the back burner that I just never get to. And, I have felt the stress in very physical ways! So many things that we do as humans, we can do with very good intentions. But, often times, the things we do with good intentions, aren't things that God has asked us to do, and they can become the enemy of doing what is best--His will, what we're actually called to do, and what He has designed us to do in our particular season. Yet, if we never take the time to stop and periodically ask Him if we're doing what we're supposed to be doing and to lay it all out on the table, we can stay on a treadmill of good things for years and continuously push the best things to the back burner. We only have so much time, and one of my greatest desires in life is to use it well.

This realization and consideration has come in a time when stillness is becoming the invitation for everyone around the world. Last week, I went to get groceries on my normal day. Everything was normal as we saw people on social media complaining about the lack of toilet paper in the US. The following day, the first two cases of COVID-19 were reported here in Honduras, and everything abruptly shifted. Traffic that day was heavy, and quickly antibacterial gel, alcohol, and other products were selling out. The next word we received was that travelers coming from Iran, China, Europe, and Korea were under restrictions. During all of this, Raúl and I haven't known how to handle our own trip to the US. We aren't set to go until the end of April before Raúl's immigration stamp expires May 1. I honestly felt paralyzed as to the best way to handle the situation. I really wanted to talk to a live person to explore our options, but understandably customer service for the airlines has been swamped. I couldn't get through. Since it was a weekend by the time all of this was transpiring, my next thought was to go to Delta's office at the airport today to see if we could bump our flights up. But a lot transpired just last night:
All the borders are closed to people (other than returning citizens, residents, and diplomats who have to be quarantined) and only open for the transportation of goods. All events of any number of people are cancelled. Public transportation is suspended. All businesses beyond supermarkets, gas stations, hospitals and the like, pharmacies, hotels, banks, and other necessary operations have been ordered to close. This is in effect for a week. So our decision was made for us.

In the midst of all of this, our nation is in great need of water. Many of you may remember that last year, Honduras experienced a drought as a result of El Niño. Now, we are in our dry season, and water is being rationed greatly. Some places only receive water every 15 days for a few hours. The poor are suffering the most, and all of this is happening in the midst of a time when people are being told to wash their hands frequently. In the medical realm, Honduras' system is ill-prepared. One article read said that Honduras only has been 60-100 ventilators. And, doctors are walking out and refusing to treat potential COVID-19 cases because the government has not provided the necessary protective supplies. This is obviously just what is happening in our little corner of the world.

In every circumstance, I believe that there is an invitation. I know that the invitation I was sensing even yesterday before all of these mandates and in the midst of the anxiety of trying to decide what the best thing to do was, was to be still and know that He is God. This is time that we can choose to use well with family and seeking the presence of God. He is still on His throne, and we have more power in prayer from the comfort of our own homes than we think we do.

All of My Love,
Sarah

"You are enough, Jesus."

Hello All,

As much as I alluded to wanting to find my rhythm and routine in my last update, that has still been elusive. February has been a crazy month so far. I have felt a bit like a hamster constantly running on a wheel. January and February are always the heaviest workload months of the year because of administrative tasks like taxes preparation, NGO governmental reports, and the Honduran school year with all that entails. This year, on top of all of that, we have had the situation of Esthefanny's diploma (that we still haven't gotten, ladies and gentlemen!) and several other unexpected situations or blessings of visitors. It has just been a lot, and I have felt like I can't catch up. Everyone talks about mom guilt, but the truth of the matter is that I think it's something that all women go through whether they have kids or not. If I'm winning with serving my people, that usually means my house is a wreck. If my house is clean, that usually means that I'm behind on administrative stuff. If I'm up-to-date on administrative stuff, I probably haven't cooked for a week. The list goes on.

The temptation is to feel like I'm never enough. I could work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and I think I still wouldn't get done all of the stuff on my to do list. If I'm not careful, that can lead to feeling like a perpetual failure. I look at my planner and the various things accumulating or getting pushed again and again, and I feel like I will never measure up. But, if nothing else this month, I have been learning how to shift my thinking. Brain chatter and those stories that we tell ourselves throughout the day are so subtle but so important. I am currently reading Who Switched Off My Brain? by Dr. Caroline Leaf, and although I'm only a couple chapters in, I can see that this idea of our thoughts affecting us so deeply is actually reinforced by science. So, I have started trying to be more proactive in taking captive my thoughts. When I have been up at 4am for VIPKID classes for nearly a week straight, and the internet connection is once again unstable, but there's nothing more I can do to fix it, I have a choice. Rather than get frantic and panicked or frustrated and angry, I've started taking a deep breath and telling myself, "All you can do is your best. You are doing your best, and that is enough." And I ask for God's grace. I am also trying to be more mindful of my habits in seeking refuge. When I can feel myself emotionally drained, I can try to distract myself with a podcast or a TV show in the background, or I can put on some worship music and let myself cry it out even as I'm cleaning or cooking. Only one of those options is actually constructive. When I am running on adrenaline due to lack of sleep and can't get my body to settle down, I have a choice. I can get desperate and upset and try to will myself to sleep despite my pounding heart and rolling mind, or I can get out of my own head by connecting myself to the Holy Spirit. I have started laying really still and saying over and over in my head, "You are enough, Jesus." It doesn't always work and isn't a substitute for setting boundaries to get actual rest, but it has helped. More than anything, I have tried to keep myself aware that in those seasons of running when we're tired is often when the enemy will strike the hardest.

So what has been keeping me occupied?

Adoradores 2020
There is a church here in Tegucigalpa that has worship as its heartbeat. It's been the most consistent church in my life, oddly enough, since moving here simply because they have always been an oasis and a place to hear God's voice. Most years, they host an event of extended worship in January. This year, they continued that tradition but did so more like a conference. Lindsey and I attended the three day conference together, and it was a precious time. It was special because the Holy Spirit was very present, and it was a great way to start a new year. But it was also special because Lindsey and I both received a lot of confirmations from God about our vision for ministry even just from what was preached about in the sessions from speakers from Brazil and Costa Rica as well as the pastors here in Honduras. It was also nice just to build some more history together in worshiping together and hearing the voice of the Lord while in the same place. I believe it set a good tone for the rest of the year.

Esthefanny's Diploma
Can I just be honest in saying that this has been a genuine spiritual battle? We feel like everything that has been able to go wrong has, and we also feel like we've been lied to more times than we can count. Already, her high school's negligence has caused her to miss the first semester of university, and we're still playing next semester by ear because we still don't have her diploma. They have made us jump through every hoop imaginable. The short story is that there was some corruption and bad administration that took place in finances at the school, but the school is now punishing the students for it and making it out like it's the students' fault. We finally are supposedly in the clear in proving all of our payments. But the latest (ridiculous) development or excuse that we've been given is that her pictures that had to accompany her graduation paperwork (that they accepted well over a year ago) did not show her ears. I kid you not. So, all of that to say, we've had numerous trips to the high school. We've been hung up on by the director. And, we're still in the fight. We so appreciate your prayers for justice and for that diploma to be released in Jesus' name!

The Saga with Josuan
In November, I received a message that Josuan was in Teen Challenge. Raúl, Esthefanny, and I went to visit him on the first Sunday that he was allowed visitors. It was completely surreal to revisit such a familiar place nearly seven years later, but I went with the conviction of believing the best about the situation and being willing to support Josuan with the hope that this would finally be the breakthrough. I had great hopes that I would be able to update you this month with the news that Josuan was still in Teen Challenge, but sadly, he left. Teen Challenge is not a perfect place, and it can't guarantee results. However, it was a stable place for Josuan, a place where I had hoped he could take the time and have the clarity to start addressing the deeper issues at the heart of his drug addiction. I believe that our behaviors are based more so on our experiences than even on our logical learning, and my limited scientific research backs that up. So, drug addictions, rebellion, self-sabotage, etc. are often mere symptoms of unhealed trauma or lies that we believe that are deeply rooted in our memories of our experiences. This is why I believe it's so imperative that we all get to the roots of our behaviors rather than trying to will ourselves to be better. I have long felt like this is what is truly lacking for Josuan, but I also know that that hard emotional/spiritual work won't even start until he reaches true repentance or the desire to be transformed. For so long, the cycle has been that he no longer wants to live on the streets and wants to have his own life and freedom, but he also wants to continue to do drugs and participate in behaviors and attitudes that will inevitably lead him right back to the streets. And, the biggest marker I see in the habitual cycle is a lack of humility and the false confidence that he can overcome his addiction by sheer force of will. Yes, the will plays a part, but so does community and the Holy Spirit and reconciliation and deep emotional healing. I won't lie--all of this is exhausting. If nothing else, I was encouraged by my willingness to believe the best in this attempt at Teen Challenge and leave the possibility open that the cycle may be broken. I still believe that the day could come when that would be the case, but I don't believe it's now.

An Update on Jorge
I can't go into this case too much because there are always two sides to every story, and I never know how complete of a story I am getting. All I can say is that Jorge is in a very unstable situation. He is practically living on the streets in the market and is looking for a job. And, I'll be honest, I don't know what to do with that. Similarly to Josuan, he has had many opportunities with various people and ministries even though those opportunities have mostly come from others and not from us. And, he is in the situation he finds himself in because of a series of poor decisions that he made. But, I feel deeply torn because he hasn't had the same kind of time and building of relationship with us that Josuan has had and because the longer he is in this situation, the more in danger he is to fall into drugs, to be abused, to be recruited to a gang, etc. Honestly, it's heart-wrenching. But, I don't have very many options for him especially because he has already burned some of the bridges that I had been able to connect him to in his previous times of need. I am keeping my ears open and my heart turned toward the Father asking what role I should play here or what He is doing in Jorge's life. As of right now, I don't have a solution other than to pray and know that God loves Jorge more than I do.

The Day to Day
This month, there have been some set parts to my routine. For starters, I have continued teaching classes online to Chinese students through VIPKID. I love the students, but the early morning hours are killing me. If I wasn't so busy with so many other things, it would be more manageable. But, between the hours and the recent lack of stability with my internet connection, I feel like it's not sustainable. So, there may be some changes in how I approach this job in the future because I'm technically an independent contractor and set my own hours. On Monday nights, we continue to have worship nights as a ministry. These times are special, and we feel God's presence in our midst. This month, we are starting to ask other members of the group to host at their houses or to participate in creating the song list. We want this to be something we all share. I continue to go to missionary ladies' Bible study on Tuesdays, and that continues to be a great blessing to me. Community makes all the difference. On Wednesdays, Lindsey and I go out to Ciudad España in order to help facilitate worship nights there in partnership with the ministry, One Day Revival. We have been encouraged by increased participation from those who attend, and we continue to work together to disciple the group in the basics of prayer and worship. On Thursdays and Saturdays, I continue to teach English classes. I have one class at level one and one class at level three.

Ministerio Familia de Promesa General Assembly and New Board
At the end of January, we had our ministry's anniversary celebration where we hosted a dinner and elected our new board members. It was a special time because it was the first time that Lindsey and I brought our two separate communities together to explain our vision for working together and the direction we feel God is taking us in. If nothing else, it was astounding to me to feel so surrounded by the Body of Christ and to recognize the healthy community God has brought into my life. It bears repeating--community makes all of the difference.

Visitors
This past month, we also had the privilege of some special visitors in our home. Last summer, I found an unconventional friend. There is a lady who has a ministry that seeks to encourage and support missionaries here in Honduras, especially focusing on the desires of their hearts. She lives in the US, but she makes a trip to Honduras yearly and has become good friends with many of the missionary ladies in my community. She and I became friends mainly via voice messaging back and forth after she read one of my blog posts that Lindsey had sent her. Over time, we have shared a lot of great conversations, and this month, I finally got to meet her in person! She stayed a night in my home, and it was great to finally sit down and have good conversation face-to-face.

Life here is always varied. You never know what you’ll get to be a part of. Three years ago, our North American friend, who was falsely accused and spent two years in prison awaiting trial, was released and went back to the US. Upon his release, he asked us to help a pastor who had visited the prison. The pastor was Carlos Montes, a man who faithfully visited the prison to preach to the inmates and a man who was rescued by Jesus during his own stint in prison decades ago. He lost his leg at the age of 25 and had walked with crutches since then. It took me a few months to investigate the options for finding affordable prosthetic limbs here in Honduras. But, I did find a nonprofit organization called Hope to Walk that gives out specially fitted prosthetics to those in need. It took another two years or so more to finally be able to fulfill the mission of getting Pastor Carlos a prosthetic leg because he is lacking his knee. Hope to Walk had to develop, patent, and fabricate a prosthetic specifically for those kinds of patients. But now, Pastor Carlos has his prosthetic and is able to do his job as a barber with much more ease. He and his wife came to stay with us during the fitting process, and they are great people! Our US friend pushed for a worthy dream, and we were blessed to be able to play a part in carrying it out. We were very encouraged by Pastor Carlos and his lovely wife and their testimony, and we feel like it was God who decided to cross our paths. As a side note, a granddaughter of Pastor Carlos and his wife had insisted that he keep the other shoe of each of the pairs of shoes that he bought because she dreamed she would see him walking on two legs. Out of the mouths of babes, my friends. God is good, and I can't tell you how much it encouraged my heart to finally see someone get a win.


Raúl with Pastor Carlos and his wife


Pastor Carlos receiving his prosthetic leg

As this month continues, I am clinging to God's promise from Exodus that His presence will go before me and that He will give me rest! I hope you are also finding rest even in the midst of what may be a busy season. I am learning to tap into that presence even in the hectic times and to speak life to myself even when I feel inadequate.

All of My Love,
Sarah

"There but for the grace of God, go I."

Hello All,

I've been back in Honduras for two weeks today and am just now finding a bit of a routine. There were some very hard goodbyes and a rough transition back to Honduras. But, I have been finding that this is often the case for many missionaries, not just me. So, if you know of a missionary who is headed back to the field after furlough or a family visit or a fundraising trip, keep them in your prayers. So much can happen while you're away, and oftentimes, not only are you wrestling with physical exhaustion from travel, emotional pain from goodbyes, and cultural shifts, you are also often stepping into ministerial problems that need immediate attention. It can be a lot to handle all at once. I have been so thankful for the community that God has provided for me both here in Honduras and in the US who have let me cry in voice messages, sit on their couches and process, and have prayed with me as I've been navigating a hard start to a new year. With that said, I am excited for this year! There are a lot of great things on the horizon for ministry, and while Lindsey and I are still working through what a lot of things will look like, we feel God's presence and leading close to us. He is working, and we just want to walk out His dreams in the best way possible.

The Ministry of Wisdom

One of the things that God really emphasized to me while I was in the States is how much we should value wisdom as children of God. We often chase after large crowds for our ministries to impact or pray for miracles and call out for financial provision, and all of those needs are real and important to God. But, I have been reminded that often many of those needs would be served by seeking out wisdom from God just as Solomon did. He does care about the details and wants to give us divine insight into our circumstances. It's up to us to not only include Him but also to prioritize Him.

Speaking for my own life, I have felt so thankful for the wealth of wisdom that God has placed in my life not just through resources like the books that I read but also and especially through people who have life experience and depth in their walks with God. A community of wise counselors is priceless to me and makes withstanding many circumstantial needs so much easier as well as knowing how to make choices to go beyond just surviving to thriving in walking in God's Kingdom. That is why much of what we do here in Honduras isn’t very measurable or tangible because the greatest needs are often abstract—vulnerable community, trustworthy counselors, and someone to just listen. We have found from experience that providing an opportunity for education or employment isn’t enough. The student often stops attending or the employee continues to drown in debt. At the heart of the issue, the student needs to feel that they have hope for a future and the self-esteem to believe they can improve their life through education. The employee doesn’t just need an income; he needs wisdom as to how to administrate and live within his means. All of this comes back to counsel and doing the hard, relational work of earning the trust of others. During the time I was in the States and since I’ve been back, a lot of my time has been spent counseling others and really just being an intentional, good friend. That has looked different depending on the situation, but the investment of time is the greatest gift I think I have to offer. One of the greatest resources that is lacking in Honduran culture is trustworthy relationships. Iron sharpens iron. But when you have no safe people to turn to, people who will give you both grace and truth, often that potential for maturity isn’t met, and cycles of problems continue. Please join us in praying that God would give us the wisdom needed for every person who crosses our path as well as for our own difficult decisions.

Worship Nights

Worship is still really what is fueling this season of life and ministry. For me, it's easy to get caught up in achievement mode even when Bible reading or time with the Lord. Sometimes, I can fall into the trap of just wanting to cross something off of my to do list. Worship, however, keeps me grounded right in this moment. And, the more that I prioritize it, the more that I do hear God's voice and receive the wisdom and hope needed to be a vessel of something life-giving to others. In this month of January, a local church has been having ongoing intercession, worship, and fasting. So, in the spirit of unifying the Body of Christ, we have also been taking our ministry group members to their worship nights. It has provided a chance for those of us who tend to facilitate to also be able to rest and receive in a new environment. And, I have been blessed by God's presence, and all that He has been saying! After January, we do plan to continue worship nights and expand the invitations to others to be present and participate.

Lindsey continues to facilitate worship nights in Ciudad España in partnership with One Day Revival Ministry. We have been growing as we learn how to best structure these worship nights for the population we are ministering to. In the past year, that has looked different at different times--including worship and prayer and some teaching time--but, we have been blessed by how long these nights have consistently gone on and how God has been drawing people unto Himself. Last night's worship night, we had every chair occupied and many kids sitting tight on cushions on the floor. Please join us in praying that God would continue to lead us well and to give us grace as we seek His strategies for Ciudad España.

Esthefanny's Diploma

I am so happy to report that Esthefanny finished her first year in college with a major in journalism. Her studies have gone well, and she has enjoyed her classes so far. However, she has reached a bureaucratic obstacle in continuing because her high school has taken more than a year to hand out diplomas. It sounds ridiculous, but this is often the case here. One person doesn't do their job or doesn't do their job well, and hundreds of students get behind in their studies or future endeavors just because one signature is lacking. It boggles the logical mind, but it's the reality. Esthefanny was able to register for university classes on a temporary provisional condition that she would bring in her diploma as soon as she got it. For over a year, the powers that be in her high school have given her false promises of when that would happen. Since I have been back in Honduras, we have been able to find information about what options she has to speed up the process. But, even so, her high school continues to tell her a new date every couple of weeks, and the high school's director does not take our calls or answer our messages. We are still in the thick of this and are unsure what the outcome will be. How heartbreaking it would be for Stef to have to repeat her last two years of high school because of someone's negligence (especially since she just passed her first year of college!). Please join us in praying that that diploma would be released into her hands as soon as possible and that God would give us divine favor and wisdom as to how continue to pressure for justice.

A Update on Josuan

When I left for the States, Josuan was kind of bouncing back and forth between places. His drug use has closed a lot of doors for places to stay over the years, and the last I had heard, he was living with a friend in Ojojona. While I was in the States, a leader and family friend from Teen Challenge sent me a message that Josuan was in Teen Challenge. Apparently, the pastor saw him on the streets of Ojojona and took him to Teen Challenge directly from there. I am not sure exactly how long he has been there, but it is likely nearing two months because this Sunday is the first Sunday he will be allowed to have visitors. We do plan to go visit him this Sunday, and let me tell you, this full circle situation is so surreal. In February, it will be seven years since Josuan became my kid after breaking his leg on the streets. I have had several moments with God where I have just replayed the last seven years and have thought about what has changed. A lot has changed, and I am encouraged by that, oddly enough, as my son enters rehab (of his own volition) for the second time. When I met Josuan, he had been living on the streets for three years since the age of 12. He had been in and out of government-run homes and ministry homes for street-connected youth. He did not have a community of people who would show him the love of Jesus. He was addicted to shoe glue, crack, and marijuana and often dabbled in alcohol and paint thinner. And he was buried deep in some heartbreaking situations.

I remember vividly sitting by his side at the hospital and having a pastor come by and start evangelizing to Josuan. I don't remember exactly what he said, but it was to the effect of, "God loves you and wants to meet you right where you are." And after the pastor walked away, Josuan looked up at me with total sincerity and asked, "Do you think God could actually love me?" And, while I reassured him calmly with my words, I felt fiercely within me the determination of "yes, He absolutely does, and I will do everything in my power to show you what that looks like." Now, seven years later, Josuan has a permanent metal rod in his leg that serves as a reminder when it gets cold of how God swooped in during his moment of need. It's like his Jacob's limp. He knows the Word. He has heard the voice of God in his own heart. He has prayed and seen prayers answered. He has felt God's touch and experienced God's divine, merciful protection and provision. Josuan's family seven years ago didn't have relationships with Jesus, and now, his sister is a leader in her church and talks to God as a best friend. Her mom and stepfather go to a church and got legally married from their newfound convictions and relationships with God. Where there was hurt and confusion in his family relationships, God has started the process of reconciliation, and Josuan's mother prays for him all the time. And, even apart from his biological family, God has provided a community of people beyond myself who love him, have helped him, and continue to fight for him in so many ways.

I don't know why it is taking my son such a long time to have that final breakthrough. I honestly don't know why God has given him so many chances. But, as I've been pondering walking into a familiar place like Teen Challenge now feeling like a totally different person with seven years of wisdom and experience and history with God on this journey, I get an image of myself in a boxing ring. And, I'm on the floor and down for the count, and the Trinity is all around me whispering in my ear, "Baby, you gotta get up! This is round two! Come on! It's time. Let's do this." And as I get up, I am overwhelmed by all that God has walked with me and provided for me in the last seven years. The provision. The lessons and maturing. The piecing together my heart over and over again. And, the community of people He has placed at my side who hold my arms up. I don't know what the outcome of Round 2 will be for Josuan. And there's a part of me that wants to slip into self-preservation and prepare my heart for the worst. But that's not what God's love looks like. And I've only ever come out on the other side a better person, more in communion with the suffering of my Savior, when I've chosen to love with a whole heart.

Personal Finances

In the interest of being vulnerable, one of the biggest difficulties that I walked back into when I got back from the US was the reality of some financial situations and the many large expenses that we have coming up. This is an area in our marriage where cultural conflicts are often present. Coming from a culture that, at least on the surface for those of us who want to be lawful, requires diligence in keeping track of spending and earning in order to file taxes, I operate best in that kind of order. Keeping accurate tallies of expenditures and using a budget and letting the facts of the numbers spent and earned speak in terms of what is wise to cut and what is still worthy of our investment is just logic to me. My husband, on the other hand, comes from a socio-economic culture where you're lucky if you know how you're going to pay for your next meal and where many businesses like his own never make a budget because the consequences for not doing so aren't readily apparent. If they have enough for what they want that day, they can call that success. The mindset is almost always on the present rather than the future, in least in practical steps. This is such a strain for us in navigating what his being a US immigrant and resident means for his having to file US taxes and having to change all of his financial habits to get in line with a new culture and way of doing things. Without going into too much detail, I will say that we aren't there yet (though we have been working toward it), and we need God's grace. I have budgeted and saved and scrimped as much as possible, but the truth of the matter is that I have already experienced even in my own situations how God has provided for things I was not prepared for (often because I didn't know it was coming). As a wife, it can be hard not to freak out when you've warned your husband for a long time that something is coming, and he isn't prepared when it's nearly upon you. "There but for the grace of God, go I." It's easy to want to get angry and place blame, and in some cases, there are lessons that do need to be learned and a greater respect that needs developed. But, in my own walk with Christ, I am choosing to see the situation and our inadequacy as an invitation to mine my own soul to find the deficiencies in my faith.

For a long time, I think I have been in a defensive, self-preservation mode because of the many years when it seemed like it was always something. I felt like I was continuously getting blindsided like someone attempting to stand in ocean waves who keeps getting knocked down. Now, however, I feel the invitation from the Lord to return to discovery mode. Rather than frantically trying to find a solution to this new threat of harm, I can see the situation with the wonder of a child who trusts a graceful Father and who asks, "How will you rescue me this time?" It's a path I'm inching my way down, so some days, faith rises up, and I do feel that way. Other days, it's all I can do to just cry out to Jesus in the midst of my doubt. Stewardship is important, and those of you who have known me a long time, likely know how I'm constantly pondering the best way to steward my time and finances and resources for something of eternal value. I am often my harshest and most demanding critic. But, learning good stewardship doesn't happen overnight. I was blessed to come from parents who both gave me an allowance and also sat me down to teach me that we set aside 10% for tithe as first priority, another percentage for savings, and we are free to use what is left. Stewardship was a value instilled in me from a very young age, and it's a path I've been walking and learning since then. My husband never had that kind of instruction or structure, and his path of learning stewardship is looking different than mine. But God's grace for us both doesn't change.

As we enter this new year, we do have a lot of expenses coming up in a short span of time. Because of Raúl's immigration status, we have to return to the US in the spring which means another round of plane tickets. This is also the first year that Raúl has to file taxes as a US resident, and because of the uniqueness of our situation, we seek out a professional to help us know the best way of doing things. He likely won't have to pay income taxes since the source of his income is Honduras and not the US, but he will have to pay self-employment taxes since he has no withholdings from his income for things like social security in the US. Our desire and plan has also always been that Raúl apply for his citizenship as soon as we have the funds to do so. Unfortunately, the prices for processing citizenship applications will be going up 83% this year. So now, we need somewhere in the ballpark of $3,000 rather than $2,500. I won't lie--after so much difficult effort in saving (and still feeling so far from the original mark), finding out that the finish line was being moved on me, I cried. It's overwhelming, friends, and I ask for you prayers, definitely for provision, but also especially that God would mature us through these circumstances. I want to develop a deeper level of trust in God's provision and in the belief that He does extend us His grace and that He does care about each of these needs. I want to see my husband grow in stewardship, and in our marriage, I want to become more of a respectful team in our finances.

If nothing else has come from this situation, I have felt God's invitation to confront some lies that I struggle with in this area. I am not on my own no matter how I may feel. You would think that eight years with no salary and just living month to month from the generosity of others and the provision of a loving Father would have taught me that, but I still struggle sometimes with feeling like the needs are all on my shoulders. Doubt can sometimes creep in, or I fall into convincing myself that if I have failed to plan and prepare well, that I don't deserve God's provision. And, I share all of this with you because I want to be intentional in vulnerability. Yes, we I am a missionary, and I have said many hard yeses to the Lord. But every day, I am also human and in need of God's grace. And, some days, the yes He requires of me is admitting my inadequacy, confessing my doubts, and leaning into His everlasting arms. So, if you find yourself in the same or similar positions, just know, you are not alone.

I love you all dearly and so appreciate your willingness to read and keep up with us. And, I readily invite you to share any and all thoughts and prayer requests you may have so that we may lift each other up. My e-mail address is sarah.crickenberger@gmail.com.

All of my love,
Sarah

Creating Heavenly Hotspots

Hello All!

It's hard to believe that I've been in the US for a month already! Time has flown by. Leading up to my brother's wedding, there were lots of preparations and just kind of settling in. His wedding was beautiful with so many personal touches unique to him and Ally. Ally really worked hard to make it a loving, cozy environment where people could celebrate and enjoy themselves. She did a great job! It was a lot of fun for me to spend time with so many people who have deep roots in my family's history. My brother has had the same friends since he was little, so it was nice to have my bonus little brothers all in one place and meet some of his new friends that he's collected over the years that I've been in Honduras. It was a celebration of Ally and Samuel, and it was also a celebration of community and the people who mold us and shape us.

Since the wedding, my brother went on his honeymoon while my sister returned to university. I have been home with my parents in Christmas mode. We have been Christmas shopping and opening packages from Amazon left and right. We've been wrapping presents and listening to Christmas music and figuring out schedules. With fewer weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas, everything has felt more rushed than normal.

Heavenly Hotspots

In the mean time, I have also tried to keep up with my regular schedule of online teaching through VIPKID. It has been a challenge. It is odd to say, but my internet in Honduras is often faster than what I can find in rural West Virginia. I started out by using a phone hotspot with a pay-as-you-go data plan, and that was working fine. I would roll out of bed and sit on the floor with a Winnie the Pooh sheet as my backdrop. All was well until I was about half way through the monthly GB allotment, and they started throttling the speeds. Miraculously enough, I have only had one IT issue in the whole month because of internet. But, I have had to be resourceful! During Thanksgiving week, the night before Thanksgiving, I was at my grandmother's house, and the power went out. My aunt lives on the next street over, and she still had electricity. So I packed up all of my teaching gear in the dark and headed over to my aunt's to stay the night. I had already set things up when the electricity came back on at my grandmother's. But, I stayed put and enjoyed and evening and a morning with my aunt and her pups. I have taught in my parents' living room with a couch as my background. For over a week, I woke up close to 4am to drive half an hour to teach at a family friend's house. They saved my classes! And thankfully, the weather cooperated. Just this morning, I set my little classroom up on the floor of my sister's bedroom in her apartment with her window curtains as my backdrop. It's been interesting and stressful to say the least!

But, in a time of prayer last week, God used that situation to speak to me about creating heavenly hostpots. Because I wanted to keep my job, I had to go where the internet was. It was difficult to find connections that were fast enough for the teaching platform, but in my desperation, I was willing to do whatever I needed to do to be able to do my job and avoid IT issues. On a regular basis in life, we are around people who have needs whether spiritual, physical, or emotional. Many of these people don't have the resources or the tools to be able to meet those needs, and they feel desperate. . In this year, I want to be conscious of facilitating heavenly hotspots. In the same way that a hotspot makes internet connection faster and more reliable, I believe that we as believers have the power to call down Heaven to the earth and to facilitate an encounter with the presence of God that someone may never otherwise have.

Raúl and I know a devout, Honduran lady who is one of the best examples of that. Her name is Sonia, and she has been in ministry for many years. Every time you go to Sonia’s house, she doesn’t just offer you a beverage or a meal, she always is prepared to give you a word exactly suited to your life in that moment. I don't think I've ever left her house before she has prayed for me. She cultivates the presence of God in her house in such a way that you are nearly guaranteed to encounter Him every time you visit her.

I believe that’s how we’re all called to be as believers. How we cultivate these heavenly hotspots may look different for each of us, but I believe that it starts with deepening our own intimacy with God and seeking healing and fullness in any area that He leads us to address. When we are connected to Him, we recognize our authority to pray for the healing of others. We know the heart of the Father enough to steward our resources with divine generosity. We can receive the words that someone else needs to hear from God. When we create a throne for Him with our worship, we invite others to enter in to the place where He inhabits, and His presence does a transforming work that none of us humans can do. In this new year, I would encourage you to ask God what steps you can take to be and create a heavenly hotspot and to be a facilitator of an encounter with the loving Father, with the Savior, and with the Holy Spirit.

That may look like providing hospitality for someone in need of family. That may look like visiting a sick person not just to pray but also to worship God in their midst and ask for His presence to bring divine healing and comfort. That may look like praying for the people who visit your home before they walk out of your door. Regardless, I would encourage you to join me in pondering with God how I can be more intentional in my relationships to invite God's presence into the moment and provide those around me with the fulfillment of their needs.

Matters of Prayer

1) This month, it came to my attention that Esthefanny still has not received her high school diploma. Guys, it's been a year. Welcome to Honduras. There has been some concern that her school, which has since stopped operating fully, is giving all of the students the run-around. I have done the best that I can to advise Stef on how to proceed in going to the Ministry of Education, etc. But, we need some divine justice and favor! She was told that she should be receiving her diploma by the 20th of this month. She is preparing to finish her first year of university! They allowed her to register with the provision that she later bring them her diploma. Please join us in praying that God would mandate from Heaven that that diploma be released into Stef's hands!

2) Raúl's green card and citizenship. We continue to wait to receive Raúl's green card, and we continue to save up for his citizenship. Thankfully, while I've been in the States, I have been able to save a little bit more, and we are thinking creatively as to how to pay for his citizenship. Please join us in prayers for God's provision.

3) The new year. I am excited about ministry for this coming year. I can't begin to express how refreshing it is to have people in my life who value relationship first and who bring so much to the table in terms of vision and great ideas. I don't know how ministry will unfold this year, but we're committed to taking our next right steps as God leads. On a personal note, I am asking God for discernment. There are many dreams and desires of my heart that I would like to pursue or at least receive an answer from God about. I always want to obey Him and seek His best. I also don't want to waste time. Please join me in praying that God would give me clarity to know how to best steward the talents that He has given me and also the time that I have. I want to choose wisely.

4) Josuan. I received a message from a Honduran friend and former leader at Teen Challenge that Josuan is now in Teen Challenge. He has been there for less than a month, but I am encouraged that he is there. He has continued to struggle with drugs all of this time and has bounced around from place to place. I don't know what it's going to take for Josuan to have a true breakthrough. I wish I could make that choice for him. But, God recently comforted me that my efforts haven't been in vain. Nearly seven years ago, Josuan had no hope that there could even be another path for his future. He didn't know that God loved him. He didn't have any healthy community. Now, he knows at least on a head level that God loves him. He has people who he knows loves him and have fought for him. And, there are people who pray for him. I hope you will join me in being one of those people.

Merry Christmas to you all! I hope it is deeply blessed.

All My Love,
Sarah

Thank you all so much for how you continue to stick with us in prayer and support and even just reading and knowing what we're up to.