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| My baby brother and I--we probably could be twins. |
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| My mama and I |
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| My sister, Naomi, and I waiting at the airport |
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| My daddy and I |
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| My best friend/cousin, Gabrielle, and I--I so enjoyed having time with her. |
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| The clouds during my plane ride home |
While I’ve only been back to Honduras for a little over two weeks, I have so much to update about. As always, life goes on here whether or not I’m here to keep up with it. When Raúl picked me up from the airport, I hit the ground running and jumped right back into la vida catracha.
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| Mayra |
Eagle’s Nest Girls Update
One of the biggest surprises when I came home was finding that little Mayra who had lived with me in the Eagle’s Nest had returned. After running away with Claudia and Blanca, she had lived for a while with Claudia’s family until they kicked her out. Then she lived with a lady who treated her like a slave and regularly slapped her across the face. She showed up at Raúl’s business first, telling him that she was repentant because the lady treated her like a slave while Papi and Mami and all of us in the ministry had treated her like a princess. Raúl, who has always had a special brother-sister relationship with Mayra, counseled her to talk to Alvin and repent, and she did. At this time, she has her own room in the house, and we hope to have her start sewing classes soon as she can’t enter high school in the middle of a school year. I love having her home as she chatters on in the fastest Spanish I’ve ever heard. She is so passionate about God and has become quite the little preacher to all of us, including me and Raúl. I am so grateful that God, indeed, is capable of bringing prodigal children home even when it hurt us so much to have to let her go and trust that she was in God’s hands.
Quendy has also recently been to the doctor, and it would seem that she is due next month. She says she has left her most recent live-in boyfriend, but it’s kind of hard to tell with that child. Alvin wants her to start sewing classes as well. We really are at a loss right now as to how to help Quendy. She’s going to need a form of income and a way of caring for herself and her child since she isn’t working anywhere right now. Raúl and I have both offered to help her (she’s already named he and I as the godparents), but we don’t just want her to rely on hand-outs. The problem that we’d have with having Quendy live here is that she still carries that desperation to get attention from any man. She might only be with us for a while before running off with a new boyfriend. Thus, please keep her and us in prayers as we want to do our best to help her according to God’s will. Meanwhile, she comes to visit nearly every day, and it warms my heart to see Mayra and Quendy together again. They were two of the girls who lived together in the Eagle’s Nest the longest, and they have a special sister-like bond (with Mayra, the youngest, acting like the big sister to Quendy).
This past Sunday, we had a rare occasion where nearly all of our girls were together again. Blanca is living in Casa Alianza, a home for troubled youth, and she and a group of girls from the home came to visit the church. Kimberli also was in church as she is back living with her family but at least is studying. God is so capable of working with children that we have to let go of. For those of us with adopting hearts and parenting spirits, it’s difficult to let our “kids” go, but as God is faithfully showing right now, He is the ultimate Father who holds each of our children in His hands.
The Promises of Isaiah
I am back to reading in Isaiah, and I have been reminded of the numerous things God showed me through this precious book, especially while I was in Mexico. For a while I forgot or willingly chose not to think of the things that God had promised because it seemed as if my life was going only going in directions that didn’t seem to be leading to the fulfillment of God’s promises even though I was doing my best to be obedient. It hurt too much to see the circumstances and remember those old dreams. But now, I find myself taking hold of them again and speaking life to them once more even as if it seems like the winding trails of my life aren’t so far from demonstrating the promises God has given me. One of the promises comes from Isaiah 48:18:
‘Lift up your eyes and look around; all your children gather and come to you. As surely as I live,’ declares the Lord, ‘you will wear them all as ornaments; you will put them on, like a bride.’ In the midst of our girls wandering home, I have also been so blessed to see the way that God is working in the lives of some of “my boys” (well, really, Raúl’s boys) as well.
Two young men who have been friends with Raúl for a long time, who Raúl has given work, has counseled, has witnessed to, and has mercifully been there for even in the midst of the times that they’ve treated him badly, stolen from him, etc., have dedicated their lives to the Lord. One young man, Orlin, is 19-years-old and has worked with Raúl off and on since I moved here. He used to smoke marijuana, be involved in some small gang activity, and was also the one who wandered around on the streets with our girls when they ran away. He has a good heart, and much of his struggle has been in the painful life that he’s led. It’s that classic orphan spirit. When I talked to Raúl while I was in the States, he and I discussed some difficulties that were going on with Orlin. While Raúl is one of the strongest people I know, he also has one of the softest hearts. He gives mercy until the well within him runs dry, and he was just about dry when I talked to him. But, in expressing how he couldn’t help but give Orlin more mercy even when people in his family and various other individuals thought he was crazy, I agreed with him, and told him, “God is going to use your merciful kindness to touch Orlin’s heart. You’re doing the right thing, bebé.” What a blessing it was to return from the US only weeks later to find Orlin working with Papi, serving the Lord, and doing his best to leave his past vices behind. I have had such joy in sitting with him in the mornings talking about various parts of the Bible that he wants to understand or having him show up at my house to get some advice from me and Raúl when he’s in the middle of temptation.
The other young man, Estiven, is someone I met two years ago and has been friends with Raúl for a long time. At the age of 19, he has a daughter and a common law wife. He also has such a good heart, but in the midst of poverty and unemployment and just getting caught up in the wrong crowd, he started doing drugs and got addicted to crack. At four in the morning, his 17-year-old wife would leave their daughter with her sister and search the streets looking for her husband and hoping that he was still alive. Estiven finally consented to go to rehab. He was there for a month, and while there, Raúl took his family to go visit him a few times. He cried every night for his wife and his daughter, and after a month of being in rehab, getting clean, and already gaining favor with the leaders, he left (not at their recommendation or even with their knowledge). While I don’t know that this was the right decision, he is now living back with his wife and daughter, is clean of drugs, and Raúl has given him a job at the tire/oil business. Just this past Sunday, Estiven and his wife, Raúl, and I went to church together and spent the afternoon together.
Raúl has spent the past several months just dealing with some hurts that have gone on in his life that left him devastated. He’s struggled to move forward in his walk with God and has often expressed that he feels like he has nothing to give anyone. Yet, I look at the lives of Orlin and Estiven, and I see seeds that Raúl planted. I see mercy that he extended. I see love that he gave even when it cost him much pain. I give so much thanks to God for his life and for the truth that even when he has felt like he had nothing to give, God was working through his character and his actions to touch the lives of these young men. This is only the beginning. God isn’t finished with Raúl yet. His complete healing is coming. He isn’t finished with Orlin or Estiven yet either.
Another promise of Isaiah comes from Isaiah 61:1-4:
The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. The will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor. They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastated; they will renew the ruined cities that have been devastated for generations.
The time I spent in the US was exactly what I needed to be restored myself. God showed me that I had been denying who I really am and who He called me to be. He showed me that I had tried to run away from my culture in the US and immerse myself in a new culture because I was ashamed of who He made me to be. Unlike Alvin, the fact that I am a gringa is inescapable. With my blonde hair, blue eyes, and light skin, I attract way more attention than I ever want. Because of hurts and damage done from past church conflicts, I had developed not only a healthy fear of God and of stealing glory that only belongs to Him but also an unhealthy fear of moving in His calling over my life. I wanted to hide because I was afraid of failing Him. I wanted to stay in the background because I didn’t want to be vulnerable and hurt like before. But, in the process, I was denying the very love that God has placed in my heart for all people—whether from the US or from Honduras. I had been keeping others at an arm’s length because the closer I am to people, the more I love them. The more I love them, the more I feel responsible for them. The more I feel responsible for them, the more I know I will have to worship God by loving people in spirit and in truth, which if I’m obedient to God, can often make waves that causes others to reject me, which hurts. But, living in a country like Honduras as a blatant gringa and as someone with much love to give, hiding was becoming quite difficult. In returning, I felt free to be who God has called me to be and feel some of the old flame of excitement for what God can and will do through my life. (Much of the encouragement I needed came from the book, The Supernatural Ways of Royalty by Kris Vallotton and Bill Johnson. If you get a chance to read it, I highly recommend it.) Now, I feel such a passion for God that nothing can hold me back. It’s a day-by-day process and choice, but I feel like I have a new sense of what it means to delight in the Lord. I want to be fully yielded to Him, and I want to be fearless in carrying out even His most subtle suggestions in loving and ministering to others.
It is for this reason that I was finally able to be obedient about something that God put in my heart months ago. During my time here, Raúl and I both (being broken people) seem to effortlessly attract other broken people. They flock to us completely unprompted. At any given point in time, there are numerous boys who just show up to spend time with Raúl at the business, and, like a father, he teaches them the trade, jokes with them, counsels them, and feeds them. Because Raúl and I are friends, his boys become my boys as well, coming with him to eat at my house. But I have my own following from time to time. Quendy comes to visit and just spend the days with me cooking or baking. Mayra also comes to listen to music with me, and as those of you may remember from reading, I tend to attract young neighbor children as well. Everywhere I turn, I come across people who perhaps are in church or aren’t in church but are craving real fellowship and real relationships with other believers. I, too, know that desire well. Because of all of the people that I was encountering (including Raúl) who needed restoration and fellowship, God laid it on my heart to start a small group at my house. Up until this point, I wasn’t brave enough to do so. But, God is merciful, and He once again prompted me to do so when I got home. We just had our first meeting last week. While I hadn’t planned on making it a weekly thing, everyone’s first question was, “So what day of the week are we going to meet every week?” It felt a bit like a Field of Dreams situation—“If you build it, they will come.” Thus, every Friday we plan to meet. I don’t have an agenda other than letting the Holy Spirit have control and letting every person have equal opportunity to share and to be obedient to the leading of the Holy Spirit. Most of what I feel like God wants to do through this meeting at this time is restore—to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom from the captives of past hurts and memories, to comfort all who mourn, and to give beauty, joy, and praise. We may be a bunch of broken ragamuffins, but I can’t help but be excited about what God can do in and through us to rebuild, restore, and renew others.
Yuscarán
Since I’ve been back, I’ve had the opportunity to go to Yuscarán again. I am always amazed by the warmth of the two families who go as well as the acceptance of the families who live there. There is something very healing about being in that place and among those people who are so childlike and innocent in their faith. Being a part of that group and that ministry is so precious to me, and I am excited to become more involved in it. The last time we were there, Hermano Nati shared a testimony which I’ll share with you because it’s one of those stories that every missionary wants to share to spark a flame in the people who live back in the home country:
Hermano Nati has occasionally had problems with is neighbors. For whatever reason, the family, specifically the father, who lives on the other side of Nati’s family, has some kind of problem with Nati and his family. Nati lives in a neighborhood of the city where his neighbors are close by. Nati was trying to rest in the early morning hours, and the neighbor children were kicking a soccer ball loudly against the wall. Nati left his home to ask them politely to stop and quiet down. He returned to his home only to find that they had gotten louder. When he exited his home again, the father was outside encouraging the children’s noisy behavior. Nati politely confronted the neighbor and asked what the problem was, but the guy refused to talk to him. Instead, the neighbor guy used his connections (he has family members who are policemen) to have Nati hauled to jail on false charges that he had hit a child. Nati ended up spending the night in prison. When he first arrived, friends were frantically calling connections and trying to figure out how to get Nati out. In this country, you are guilty until proven innocent, so you never know what could happen within our judicial system. Alvin has friends who are judges, so Nati was confident that his papi was going to get him out. Instead, Alvin told those who were frantic to leave the situation alone because this was a situation that God was going to use to impact Nati’s life. He was right. Mami Nelly sent Nati a Bible along with some other items, Martha, Nati’s wife brought him. Upon reading Isaiah 43 (more Isaiah promises!), he began to weep as he recognized that God had not abandoned him. At this softening of his heart, he began to see his purpose in being there and began to form relationships with various men in the prison. He preached, and various people listened, were touched, became Christians, and overall felt the love of Jesus. When he was release the following day, the Lord had placed such a burden on his heart for these people (some of which were falsely accused just like he was) that he had a difficult time leaving them. Now, Hermano Nati wants to return to spend nights with the prisoners there because God has put a compassion in his heart that wasn’t there before.
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| Mathias |
New Visitors and Difficult Goodbyes
This week, one of my Danish “sons”/brothers is leaving us. Mathias has been such a joy to have around, and I have so enjoyed getting to know him. I look forward to seeing what else God has in store for his life and how He is going to work through his experiences here to make him into the man of God he is called to be. Michael, our other Danish volunteer, will also be leaving soon (although the date is yet to be determined, so we get to keep him around a while longer). I love my boys very much and have so appreciated their friendship during a time when I was lonely and trying to find my place here. They have been a comfort and a comic relief through many difficult situations, and I can’t thank them enough. I wish Mathias all the best as he leaves us, and I hope he will return someday soon.
We will soon be having at least two more Danish visitors coming soon. (This house never seems to be empty!) So, I look forward to having two more boys to take care of, pick on, and treat like my brothers.
Among the new visitors who are coming, my students from my student teaching days at Hedgesville High School will be coming in just a matter of a little over a week. I am ecstatic. I had the privilege of helping them with a spaghetti dinner they were putting on as a fundraiser while I was in the States. I was so proud of all of their hard work and how much of themselves they’ve put into collecting items, raising awareness, and preparing for their trip. I can’t wait for them to be here. In the same way that Raúl has been exhausted but his fruit is becoming evident, the fact that my students are coming is one of those evidences of God’s faithfulness. I was so exhausted during student teaching and probably wouldn’t have made it if it wasn’t for knowing it was something I could pour myself totally into temporarily, having a wonderful cooperating teacher, and teaching amazing students. Nancy Ryan, my cooperating teacher, allowed me the liberty of teaching a lengthy unit about Honduras that included “meeting” various people from here via photos and hearing their stories and even having a Skype phone call between Bessy (from our church) and my students. Now, some of those very same students will get to meet her in person. That is something that warms my heart and is something that I know only God could have accomplished. I look forward to what else God wants to do in their lives and in the lives of the Hondurans that they touch.
I am so excited to see what God has in store next in my life, and I am so grateful for all of you who keep up with my reading and by keeping me in your prayers. Please continue to keep the ministry here in your prayers.
All of my love,
Sarah
