Hello All,
I wanted to give you a bit of an update before I get swept up into the realm of last-minute packing for--Honduras!!!! While we were supposed to fly out on Monday, the threat of impending snow (that we never actually got. . .ha ha) cancelled our flight. Thus, we fly out tomorrow, have a layover in Miami, and finally will arrive in sunny Tegus. I can't wait. I haven't been able to sleep much for the past week because as soon as I close my eyes, I'm replaying Honduras memories and excitedly thinking of home. Soon enough, though, I'll be making new memories with Robert and Gabrielle who are coming with me.
I enjoyed my time with my family over Christmas. Just being around them is always a blessing. Sometimes, I forget how nice it is to be completely comfortable with the people that you're around--able to be silly, to wander around in sweats, and to be loud. I also had good visits with my extended family on both sides. It was nice to see the cousins and catch up a little bit. And now that I've had my time with my US family, it's on to my other family!
God had indicated to me a month or so ago that no matter what happens with this rather unplanned trip that we are to approach it all with an attitude of prayer. Therefore, when I heard about the possible snowstorm, I was praying as I drove back to Shepherd, asking God to keep it from snowing and cancelling our flight until. . . God asked me, "Whose trip is this?" Once again realizing that whatever happens, we are being obedient in going and that we can trust in God's best, I began to change my prayers, asking only for God's will this time. When our flight was cancelled, while we were initially disappointed, we chose to see it as God's best and as another part of the adventure. We aren't even in Honduras yet, but God has already blessed this trip in so many unexpected ways. None of us asked for financial help from anyone. We were just trying to be obedient to God's prompting to go. Yet, each of us has received generous outpouring from family, friends, and churches. We are so blessed by this surprise support and look forward to merely being the vessels that carry that blessing on to Alvin.
Because I've been to Honduras so many times now, it is just home. I don't see going back as a compartmentalized "mission trip," and I love it that way. Whenever you travel to a Third World country, the question you always get asked is, "What are you doing there?" And, this is an occasion where we don't have an answer other than "being obedient." We don't have a project in mind. We don't expect to do all of the usual team things that typically happen at Alvin's. We would rather be treated as family, able to serve in any capacity God leads. We do hope to travel to Esperanza so that I can share my second Honduran family, the school where I taught, and my life this past summer with Roy, Gabrielle, and Robert. I am ecstatic to see everyone again.
I feel so unbelievably blessed that God is allowing me to go back so much sooner than I expected. This is about the time of year where my internal repetitions of "I just want to go home" and homesickness for Honduras gets very intense. I don't know if it's something about the cold and the gray that makes me long for the blue sky and warmth of Honduras or what, but the fact that I'm in the height of Honduras longings and actually get to return is so wonderful. I've been told on more than one occasion that when I talk about Honduras that my whole face lights up, so I no longer feel so silly when Gabrielle catches me with an inexplicable grin on my face. That smile has been a permanent fixture for the past few days, and it's also no unusual for me to just start laughing to myself for no reason other than pure joy at the thought of returning home. Oh my goodness. . .I simply can't wait.
One lesson from Christmas that I am carrying with me to Honduras stems from a beloved Christmas carol, "O Holy Night." Have you ever really listening to the lyrics from that song? They really struck me, so let me share them with you:
O Holy Night
O holy night! The stars are brightly shining,
It is the night of our dear Savior's birth.
Long lay the world in sin and error pining,
'Til He appear'd and the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees! O hear the angels' voices!
O night divine, O night when Christ was born;
O night divine, O night, O night Divine.
. . .
Truly He taught us to love one another;
His law is love and His gospel is peace.
Chains shall he break for the slave is our brother;
And in His name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
Let all within us praise His holy name.
Christ is the Lord! O praise His name forever,
His power and glory evermore proclaim.
His power and glory evermore proclaim.
As I was listening to this song over the holidays, I was struck with the image conjured with the lines, "Long lay the world in sin and error pining, 'til He appeared and the soul felt its worth." I couldn't help but think of the street kids in Honduras or the images of starving children I've seen from Mozambique that are laying there with no hope in the midst of darkness, hunger, and filth. Then I began to think of how it must feel for them to meet someone like Alvin or Heidi Baker who shows them Jesus and also shows them how much they are worth, how much He loves them. There are so many souls in the world who have never felt their worth. Then, I began to feel the weight of the truth that we are the ones called to appear in the world of darkness inhabited by others in order to be Jesus to them and show them how much they are worth to God. As I mulled this responsibility over in my mind, I indeed wanted to fall on my knees in both adoration and in repentance for the times when I am not obedient or faithful in showing other souls their worth to Jesus. It is the life that He calls each of us to. We don't have to travel to a foreign country to find hurting people who need to feel their worth. I think it's also worth pointing out that the song does say "felt" rather than "know." The truth is that we can tell people that they are important and worth something to God all day long, and they can know it logically in their heads without ever feeling it.
I was thinking about gifts a lot over break and asked numerous people the question of what gift has been the most important to them, and my findings were that our idea of a good gift involves some level of forethought and sacrifice--of time, of money, of self. Jesus is obviously the best gift ever given even from a logical standpoint because God had the intuitive forethought to see our deep need for a Savior and chose to sacrifice the dearest part of Himself. Jesus then became deeply and personally aware of our needs as human beings. This Christmas has been a lot of learning about how God defines giving as opposed to how my culture tends to define giving, and the most important conclusion I've come to is that if we truly want to give like Jesus, we have to see past ourselves to the needs of others, choose to feel those needs, and choose to sacrifice--lay down our lives, our time, our money for others. (Are those things really ours anyway?) If we're being honest, simply approaching everyone with a blanket approach of sharing Jesus defies how God defines giving. When we don't seek God's best way of reaching another human being and rely on formulas or what we've always been taught or think we're supposed to do, we're not taking the time to acquaint ourselves personally with the other person's needs, to have the forethought of how to show Jesus specifically to that person, and aren't sacrificing much of ourselves. How much does it cost to give a stranger a standard spiel about the Gospel? How much more does it cost to live as that stranger lives, to embrace their suffering for ourselves, to feel their pain, and them show them Jesus? It costs our lives. That is what God calls us to, and that is the attitude that I want to take with me to Honduras and throughout the rest of my life.
Happy New Year to all of you! I hope it is full of new beginnings.
Lots of love and excitement,
Sarah
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Friday, December 10, 2010
Found
Hello All,
I am always so amazed at the ways that God can find me even when I have buried myself in work or am dwelling in despair. He always manages to knock on the door of my heart when I need it most. It has been a difficult week for various reasons--the easiest way to explain it is merely be reverting back to the old theme which is loss, loss, and more loss. In the midst of feeling abandoned by various humans, I found myself questioning why God loves me and struggling to know in my heart that He never abandons me. After spending some portion of every day this past week in tears and pain, God found me today in the midst of my 13-page Spanish paper--the last assignment of the semester.
I was listening to Pandora when a live version of "Blessed Be Your Name" by the Newsboys came on. Already a theme song for this week and year, I listened a little more intently as the lead singer began to quote scripture at the end. It hit home. http://http//www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLycgKxlgc0
The scripture that he recites is from Isaiah--one of my favorite books anyway--and they were words that I so desperately needed:
from Isaiah 40-41:
"So--who is like me?
Who holds a candle to me?" says The Holy.
Look at the night skies:
Who do you think made all this?
Who marches this army of stars out each night,
counts them off, calls each by name
--so magnificent! so powerful!--
and never overlooks a single one?
Why would you ever complain, O Jacob,
or, whine, Israel, saying,
"God has lost track of me.
He doesn't care what happens to me"?
Don't you know anything? Haven't you been listening?
God doesn't come and go. God lasts.
He's Creator of all you can see or imagine.
He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch his breath.
And he knows everything, inside and out.
He energizes those who get tired,
gives fresh strength to dropouts.
For even young people tire and drop out,
young folk in their prime stumble and fall.
But those who wait upon God will get fresh strength.
They spread their wings and soar like eagles,
They run and don't get tired,
they walk and don't lag behind. . . .
"But you, Israel, are my servant.
You're Jacob, my first choice,
descendants of my good friend Abraham.
I pulled you in from all over the world,
called you in from every dark corner of the earth,
Telling you, 'You're my servant, serving on my side.
I've picked you. I haven't dropped you.'
Don't panic. I'm with you.
There's no need to fear for I'm your God.
I'll give you strength. I'll help you.
I'll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you.
"Count on it: Everyone who had it in for you
will end up out in the cold--
real losers.
Those who worked against you
will end up empty-handed--
nothing to show for their lives.
When you go out looking for your old adversaries
you won't find them--
Not a trace of your old enemies,
not even a memory.
That's right. Because I, your God,
have a firm grip on you and I'm not letting go.
I'm telling you, 'Don't panic.
I'm right here to help you.'
"Do you feel like a lowly worm, Jacob?
Don't be afraid.
Feel like a fragile insect, Israel?
I'll help you.
I, God, want to reassure you.
The God who buys you back, The Holy of Israel.
Then, moments after hearing this scripture, I was sent a convicting text from my friend, Robert, who will be going with me and my cousin to Honduras in a couple weeks. He reminded me of the scripture 1 Corinthians 7:17 which I normally read in the context of marriage versus being single. However, that scripture in isolation was a nice, needed wakeup call for someone who has been counting down the days till Honduras for well over a month and who has a constant ticker tape of the thought, "I just want to go home [to Honduras]," running through her head. Sometimes, Honduras becomes a mental escape for me when I know that in reality any problems I have here are also present (and often magnified) in Honduras. Thus, this scripture was God's gentle reminder that home is always Him.
from 1 Corinthians 7:17:
And don't be wishing you were somplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God's place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there.
I can't help but be thrilled that I am going back to Honduras in 17 days; however, this is God's trip. I don't want to have any expectations or set plans. He is the one that organized all of this--it wasn't my plan--and I want Him to have full control to do His will. It's funny--I had no plans to go back to Honduras before I move, and I had pretty much determined that I was strong enough to be able to go that long without being home (still Honduras, can't help it). But, it is such an amazing blessing that when I find myself struggling greatly, telling God once again that I have nothing left, that I am just a lowly shell, and that all I want is to go home whatever that may mean, He has already made the way for me to go back. He knows my weaknesses and heart's needs far better than I do.
For that, I am infinitely grateful. I have made it through my second to last semester of college. Next semester is student teaching, and after that, college is over. I marvel at how fast the time has flown. I marvel at all that I've learned. And I marvel at the balance of loss and enthusiasm for the future that overtakes me on a regular basis, and in the midst of the pendulum of emotions, God reminds me to live and obey and love right here. That's the whole purpose of life, anyway. It's always been that simple.
With Love,
Sarah
I am always so amazed at the ways that God can find me even when I have buried myself in work or am dwelling in despair. He always manages to knock on the door of my heart when I need it most. It has been a difficult week for various reasons--the easiest way to explain it is merely be reverting back to the old theme which is loss, loss, and more loss. In the midst of feeling abandoned by various humans, I found myself questioning why God loves me and struggling to know in my heart that He never abandons me. After spending some portion of every day this past week in tears and pain, God found me today in the midst of my 13-page Spanish paper--the last assignment of the semester.
I was listening to Pandora when a live version of "Blessed Be Your Name" by the Newsboys came on. Already a theme song for this week and year, I listened a little more intently as the lead singer began to quote scripture at the end. It hit home. http://http//www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLycgKxlgc0
The scripture that he recites is from Isaiah--one of my favorite books anyway--and they were words that I so desperately needed:
from Isaiah 40-41:
"So--who is like me?
Who holds a candle to me?" says The Holy.
Look at the night skies:
Who do you think made all this?
Who marches this army of stars out each night,
counts them off, calls each by name
--so magnificent! so powerful!--
and never overlooks a single one?
Why would you ever complain, O Jacob,
or, whine, Israel, saying,
"God has lost track of me.
He doesn't care what happens to me"?
Don't you know anything? Haven't you been listening?
God doesn't come and go. God lasts.
He's Creator of all you can see or imagine.
He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch his breath.
And he knows everything, inside and out.
He energizes those who get tired,
gives fresh strength to dropouts.
For even young people tire and drop out,
young folk in their prime stumble and fall.
But those who wait upon God will get fresh strength.
They spread their wings and soar like eagles,
They run and don't get tired,
they walk and don't lag behind. . . .
"But you, Israel, are my servant.
You're Jacob, my first choice,
descendants of my good friend Abraham.
I pulled you in from all over the world,
called you in from every dark corner of the earth,
Telling you, 'You're my servant, serving on my side.
I've picked you. I haven't dropped you.'
Don't panic. I'm with you.
There's no need to fear for I'm your God.
I'll give you strength. I'll help you.
I'll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you.
"Count on it: Everyone who had it in for you
will end up out in the cold--
real losers.
Those who worked against you
will end up empty-handed--
nothing to show for their lives.
When you go out looking for your old adversaries
you won't find them--
Not a trace of your old enemies,
not even a memory.
That's right. Because I, your God,
have a firm grip on you and I'm not letting go.
I'm telling you, 'Don't panic.
I'm right here to help you.'
"Do you feel like a lowly worm, Jacob?
Don't be afraid.
Feel like a fragile insect, Israel?
I'll help you.
I, God, want to reassure you.
The God who buys you back, The Holy of Israel.
Then, moments after hearing this scripture, I was sent a convicting text from my friend, Robert, who will be going with me and my cousin to Honduras in a couple weeks. He reminded me of the scripture 1 Corinthians 7:17 which I normally read in the context of marriage versus being single. However, that scripture in isolation was a nice, needed wakeup call for someone who has been counting down the days till Honduras for well over a month and who has a constant ticker tape of the thought, "I just want to go home [to Honduras]," running through her head. Sometimes, Honduras becomes a mental escape for me when I know that in reality any problems I have here are also present (and often magnified) in Honduras. Thus, this scripture was God's gentle reminder that home is always Him.
from 1 Corinthians 7:17:
And don't be wishing you were somplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God's place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there.
I can't help but be thrilled that I am going back to Honduras in 17 days; however, this is God's trip. I don't want to have any expectations or set plans. He is the one that organized all of this--it wasn't my plan--and I want Him to have full control to do His will. It's funny--I had no plans to go back to Honduras before I move, and I had pretty much determined that I was strong enough to be able to go that long without being home (still Honduras, can't help it). But, it is such an amazing blessing that when I find myself struggling greatly, telling God once again that I have nothing left, that I am just a lowly shell, and that all I want is to go home whatever that may mean, He has already made the way for me to go back. He knows my weaknesses and heart's needs far better than I do.
For that, I am infinitely grateful. I have made it through my second to last semester of college. Next semester is student teaching, and after that, college is over. I marvel at how fast the time has flown. I marvel at all that I've learned. And I marvel at the balance of loss and enthusiasm for the future that overtakes me on a regular basis, and in the midst of the pendulum of emotions, God reminds me to live and obey and love right here. That's the whole purpose of life, anyway. It's always been that simple.
With Love,
Sarah
Sunday, December 5, 2010
2 Corinthians 6
Hello All,
Today is such a beautiful day, and I find myself marveling at how truly beautiful God is. He orchestrates such perfect details in my life. How can I see His fingerprints all around me and not be completely enamored with Him?
I just wanted to share a scripture that I found to be a great comfort this past week:
2 Corinthians 6
Staying at Our Post
Companions as we are in this work with you, we beg you, please don't squander one bit of this marvelous life God has given us. God reminds us, I heard your call in the nick of time; The day you needed me, I was there to help.
Well now is the right time to listen, the day to be helped. Don't put it off; don't frustrate God's work by showing up late, throwing a question mark over everything we're doing. Our work as God's servants gets validated--or not--in the details. People are watching as we stay at our post, alertly, unswervingly . . . in the hard time, tough times, bad times; when we're beaten up, jailed, and mobbed; working hard, working late, working without eating; with pure heart, clear head, steady hand, in gentleness, holiness, and honest love; when we're telling the truth, and when God's showing his power; when we're doing our best setting things right; when we're praised, and when we're blamed; slandered, and honored; true to our word, though distrusted; ignored by the world, but recognized by God; terrifically alive, though rumored to be dead; beaten within an inch of our lives, but refusing to die; immersed in tears, yet always filled with deep joy; living on handouts, yet enriching many; having nothing, having it all.
Dear, dear Corinthians, I can't tell you how much I long for you to entre this wide-open, spacious life. We didn't fence you in. The smallness you feel comes from within you. Your lives aren't small, but you're living them in a small way. I'm speaking as plainly as I can and with great affection. Open up your lives. Live openly and expansively!
Don't become partners with those who reject God. How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong? That's not partnership; that's war. Is light best friends with dark? Does Christ go strolling with the Devil? Do trust and mistrust hold hands? Who would think of setting up pagan idols in God's holy Temple? But that is exactly what we are; each of us a temple in whom God lives. God himself put it this way:
"I'll live in them, move into them;
I'll be their God and they'll be my people.
So leave the corruption and compromise;
leave it for good," says God.
"Don't link up with those who will pollute you.
I want you all for myself.
I'll be a Father to you;
you'll be sons and daughters to me."
The Word of the Master, God.
With love in the midst of loss,
Sarah
Today is such a beautiful day, and I find myself marveling at how truly beautiful God is. He orchestrates such perfect details in my life. How can I see His fingerprints all around me and not be completely enamored with Him?
I just wanted to share a scripture that I found to be a great comfort this past week:
2 Corinthians 6
Staying at Our Post
Companions as we are in this work with you, we beg you, please don't squander one bit of this marvelous life God has given us. God reminds us, I heard your call in the nick of time; The day you needed me, I was there to help.
Well now is the right time to listen, the day to be helped. Don't put it off; don't frustrate God's work by showing up late, throwing a question mark over everything we're doing. Our work as God's servants gets validated--or not--in the details. People are watching as we stay at our post, alertly, unswervingly . . . in the hard time, tough times, bad times; when we're beaten up, jailed, and mobbed; working hard, working late, working without eating; with pure heart, clear head, steady hand, in gentleness, holiness, and honest love; when we're telling the truth, and when God's showing his power; when we're doing our best setting things right; when we're praised, and when we're blamed; slandered, and honored; true to our word, though distrusted; ignored by the world, but recognized by God; terrifically alive, though rumored to be dead; beaten within an inch of our lives, but refusing to die; immersed in tears, yet always filled with deep joy; living on handouts, yet enriching many; having nothing, having it all.
Dear, dear Corinthians, I can't tell you how much I long for you to entre this wide-open, spacious life. We didn't fence you in. The smallness you feel comes from within you. Your lives aren't small, but you're living them in a small way. I'm speaking as plainly as I can and with great affection. Open up your lives. Live openly and expansively!
Don't become partners with those who reject God. How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong? That's not partnership; that's war. Is light best friends with dark? Does Christ go strolling with the Devil? Do trust and mistrust hold hands? Who would think of setting up pagan idols in God's holy Temple? But that is exactly what we are; each of us a temple in whom God lives. God himself put it this way:
"I'll live in them, move into them;
I'll be their God and they'll be my people.
So leave the corruption and compromise;
leave it for good," says God.
"Don't link up with those who will pollute you.
I want you all for myself.
I'll be a Father to you;
you'll be sons and daughters to me."
The Word of the Master, God.
With love in the midst of loss,
Sarah
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Eagles and Name Signs
Hello All,
It has been quite a while since I have updated, so I figured I'd go ahead and let you know what's been going on. Thanksgiving break went very well. It was nice to spend some time with my family and to get away from campus for a while.
Last Wednesday, I had the opportunity to speak at Horizons Church youth group where my sister goes on a regular basis. I had no idea what to expect, and to be honest, I had forgotten that I had even agreed to speak until the day before. I am not someone that does much formal preparation when speaking to others, even if it's a large group. I would rather my heart be prepared to be a clean vessel of God's message than have the right words and timing all planned out. I hadn't been in a formal church setting in quite a while, and it had been even longer since I had been in a youth group. It reminded me of my youth group days, and the kids at Horizons were awesome. The praise and worship songs that they played were practically my playlist for this year with "Blessed Be Your Name" and "Lead Me to the Cross." And once again, God had to gently nudge me about another area of life that needed to be surrendered and lost. Speaking went well, and the message that God seemed to give me was the same simple one He resonates in my life on a daily basis--life on God's terms is infinitely better than anything we could imagine for ourselves. He wants us to stop assuming that we know what is best for ourselves and invite Him into every single detail and decision in life. To do that, we must lose all--our dreams, our desires, our hopes, and our fears. We must trust that God knows best and have faith that God loves us perfectly--enough to give us His best. The other day, I was astounded with the realization that God is control of my life. God--the one and only God--loves me enough to take control of my life when I ask Him to. He could completely leave me alone to my own vices, refusing to rescue me from myself. But, He willingly embraces the failure that I am and takes joy in leading me by the hand to Himself and His blessings. I can't help but marvel and His humility in this way. He is all-powerful, yet He doesn't forget me.
Last Saturday, I had a wonderful opportunity to go to Crossroads Deaf Baptist Church in Frederick, Maryland. As part of my sign language class, I was required to experience some elements of deaf culture. I found this church online, and I e-mailed the pastor. Although I was rather nervous because it was a potluck to be held at the pastor's house, and it seemed like a small church (which meant no disappearing into the background), I went this past Sunday. As I sat in my car a bit early, staring at the apartment building and wondering what I had gotten myself into, something God said during my first summer of living in Honduras rang in my ears: "Sarah, is the church My house? Because if it is My house, and you are My child, you are free to move about My house without fear." Thus, with this in mind, and feeling as if God had orchestrated circumstances so as to send me to this place, I went. It was a wonderful experience. While there was only one deaf woman there, she was truly delightful, and we were able to communicate well. It made me miss the early days of Honduras before I could speak the language very well--you learn in those moments that there is more to communication than syllables and syntax. Everyone at the church was so kind and so willing to share with me. We had a service in which the pastor was reminding us to be thankful for all things--even those that seem "bad." After the service, we had a Thanksgiving dinner in the middle of the pastor's home. Somewhere in the midst of passing the stuffing and being offered more sweet potatoes, it hit me that I was sitting in the home of total strangers as they asked me questions about my life and fed me their food off of their plates. They also gave me my name sign in sign language--the letter "s" in a smiling movement near the mouth. I love that total strangers were able to name me in a few hours with a gesture that conveys so much of my heart, a life overflowing with joy.
During my time at Horizons, I sadly realized just how cynical I have become in regard to church. It is so difficult for me to trust the sincerity of other Christians within church settings at times. I have become so jaded with the hierarchy that I am too quick to assume that the system of church and the people within it are only out to sell me something or to use me. I can know logically that this is not true, but experiences have taught me otherwise in some cases. Thus, the people of Crossroads encouraged me greatly. They already knew my reason for being there; they knew that I wasn't looking for a church, and especially due to the distance from my university, I wasn't likely to start going there on a regular basis. But, they treated me as family anyway, and their quiet kindness gave me a warm healing. I also think that this experience gave me a preview of how my life will be lived--dependent on God and free to be welcomed by the kindness of strangers. Overall, although it was out of my comfort zone initially, it was very much a New Testament church kind of experience.
In other thoughts, I recently received my student teaching placement for next semester. I am quite excited. Being a detail-oriented researcher, I googled the school and the teacher with whom I'll be working. The home page welcomed me with a reminder from God that He is always in control: Hedgesville High School: Home of the Eagles! Eagles have become a theme this year. I was given assignment a while back to think of an animal that was representative of me or that represented strength to me in some way. After living at the Eagle's Nest this summer, eagles came rather naturally to my mind. After doing some research, I found that eagles carry some characteristics that offer some interesting spiritual insight:
1) They're master fliers. They are huge birds, and if they put too much effort into flying, they will essentially wear themselves out so much that they'll kill themselves. Thus, their proficiency in flying resides in waiting patiently for a wind thermal to carry them as they soar to where they need to go. On these wind thermals, they fly to heights that no other bird can reach.
2) They're master fishermen.
3) They fly alone.
4) They live on higher ground.
5) They are extremely bold, powerful, and courageous as they fly through storm clouds when most other birds would hide in safety.
6) They are majestic.
7) They are faithful to their mates for life.
8) They are very patient, waiting for their prey sometimes for hours.
9) They have two sets of eyes.
10) They build nests in the wilderness.
11) They have contrasting color patterns and are noticeable from a distance.
With all of that said, after googling my facilitating teacher, I found out that she is award-winning and was the 2007 foreign language teacher in the state. While I don't put much stock in man-pleasing awards, I was interested in what she said during an interview. She mentioned that she incorporates service learning into her Spanish classes and that she believes that the most important part of learning a foreign language is communication. With these comments, I am excited to work with her since I share at least those sentiments. I don't want to jump the gun on this; however, with these things in mind, I can fully see that God is in control of even the smallest details in my life.
At any rate, I'm in the home stretch of this semester and am so thrilled that I will be going to Honduras in a mere 23 days. I feel so very blessed that God is allowing me to go back so soon, and like a fish out of water, I feel as if I need it greatly. I am so thrilled to be able to see my family there again.
Thanks for keeping up with me,
Sarah
It has been quite a while since I have updated, so I figured I'd go ahead and let you know what's been going on. Thanksgiving break went very well. It was nice to spend some time with my family and to get away from campus for a while.
Last Wednesday, I had the opportunity to speak at Horizons Church youth group where my sister goes on a regular basis. I had no idea what to expect, and to be honest, I had forgotten that I had even agreed to speak until the day before. I am not someone that does much formal preparation when speaking to others, even if it's a large group. I would rather my heart be prepared to be a clean vessel of God's message than have the right words and timing all planned out. I hadn't been in a formal church setting in quite a while, and it had been even longer since I had been in a youth group. It reminded me of my youth group days, and the kids at Horizons were awesome. The praise and worship songs that they played were practically my playlist for this year with "Blessed Be Your Name" and "Lead Me to the Cross." And once again, God had to gently nudge me about another area of life that needed to be surrendered and lost. Speaking went well, and the message that God seemed to give me was the same simple one He resonates in my life on a daily basis--life on God's terms is infinitely better than anything we could imagine for ourselves. He wants us to stop assuming that we know what is best for ourselves and invite Him into every single detail and decision in life. To do that, we must lose all--our dreams, our desires, our hopes, and our fears. We must trust that God knows best and have faith that God loves us perfectly--enough to give us His best. The other day, I was astounded with the realization that God is control of my life. God--the one and only God--loves me enough to take control of my life when I ask Him to. He could completely leave me alone to my own vices, refusing to rescue me from myself. But, He willingly embraces the failure that I am and takes joy in leading me by the hand to Himself and His blessings. I can't help but marvel and His humility in this way. He is all-powerful, yet He doesn't forget me.
Last Saturday, I had a wonderful opportunity to go to Crossroads Deaf Baptist Church in Frederick, Maryland. As part of my sign language class, I was required to experience some elements of deaf culture. I found this church online, and I e-mailed the pastor. Although I was rather nervous because it was a potluck to be held at the pastor's house, and it seemed like a small church (which meant no disappearing into the background), I went this past Sunday. As I sat in my car a bit early, staring at the apartment building and wondering what I had gotten myself into, something God said during my first summer of living in Honduras rang in my ears: "Sarah, is the church My house? Because if it is My house, and you are My child, you are free to move about My house without fear." Thus, with this in mind, and feeling as if God had orchestrated circumstances so as to send me to this place, I went. It was a wonderful experience. While there was only one deaf woman there, she was truly delightful, and we were able to communicate well. It made me miss the early days of Honduras before I could speak the language very well--you learn in those moments that there is more to communication than syllables and syntax. Everyone at the church was so kind and so willing to share with me. We had a service in which the pastor was reminding us to be thankful for all things--even those that seem "bad." After the service, we had a Thanksgiving dinner in the middle of the pastor's home. Somewhere in the midst of passing the stuffing and being offered more sweet potatoes, it hit me that I was sitting in the home of total strangers as they asked me questions about my life and fed me their food off of their plates. They also gave me my name sign in sign language--the letter "s" in a smiling movement near the mouth. I love that total strangers were able to name me in a few hours with a gesture that conveys so much of my heart, a life overflowing with joy.
During my time at Horizons, I sadly realized just how cynical I have become in regard to church. It is so difficult for me to trust the sincerity of other Christians within church settings at times. I have become so jaded with the hierarchy that I am too quick to assume that the system of church and the people within it are only out to sell me something or to use me. I can know logically that this is not true, but experiences have taught me otherwise in some cases. Thus, the people of Crossroads encouraged me greatly. They already knew my reason for being there; they knew that I wasn't looking for a church, and especially due to the distance from my university, I wasn't likely to start going there on a regular basis. But, they treated me as family anyway, and their quiet kindness gave me a warm healing. I also think that this experience gave me a preview of how my life will be lived--dependent on God and free to be welcomed by the kindness of strangers. Overall, although it was out of my comfort zone initially, it was very much a New Testament church kind of experience.
In other thoughts, I recently received my student teaching placement for next semester. I am quite excited. Being a detail-oriented researcher, I googled the school and the teacher with whom I'll be working. The home page welcomed me with a reminder from God that He is always in control: Hedgesville High School: Home of the Eagles! Eagles have become a theme this year. I was given assignment a while back to think of an animal that was representative of me or that represented strength to me in some way. After living at the Eagle's Nest this summer, eagles came rather naturally to my mind. After doing some research, I found that eagles carry some characteristics that offer some interesting spiritual insight:
1) They're master fliers. They are huge birds, and if they put too much effort into flying, they will essentially wear themselves out so much that they'll kill themselves. Thus, their proficiency in flying resides in waiting patiently for a wind thermal to carry them as they soar to where they need to go. On these wind thermals, they fly to heights that no other bird can reach.
2) They're master fishermen.
3) They fly alone.
4) They live on higher ground.
5) They are extremely bold, powerful, and courageous as they fly through storm clouds when most other birds would hide in safety.
6) They are majestic.
7) They are faithful to their mates for life.
8) They are very patient, waiting for their prey sometimes for hours.
9) They have two sets of eyes.
10) They build nests in the wilderness.
11) They have contrasting color patterns and are noticeable from a distance.
With all of that said, after googling my facilitating teacher, I found out that she is award-winning and was the 2007 foreign language teacher in the state. While I don't put much stock in man-pleasing awards, I was interested in what she said during an interview. She mentioned that she incorporates service learning into her Spanish classes and that she believes that the most important part of learning a foreign language is communication. With these comments, I am excited to work with her since I share at least those sentiments. I don't want to jump the gun on this; however, with these things in mind, I can fully see that God is in control of even the smallest details in my life.
At any rate, I'm in the home stretch of this semester and am so thrilled that I will be going to Honduras in a mere 23 days. I feel so very blessed that God is allowing me to go back so soon, and like a fish out of water, I feel as if I need it greatly. I am so thrilled to be able to see my family there again.
Thanks for keeping up with me,
Sarah
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