The Cost of Discipleship

Hello All,

Well, on yet another snow day, I thought I would catch you up on how things are going. Student teaching is going well although it can be quite difficult at times. The planning, grading, teaching, and assessing never seem to stop, and I'm only teaching four classes! However, I can completely see how this is definitely a time of direct preparation for Honduras. I am learning to let God have my time and make all of my priorities. I have great struggles with the public school system, and I don't ever have enough time to cover everything I want to cover. When time is limited, it makes you question what truly is most important for teaching. Oftentimes, my belief of what is most important does not line up with state standards or textbooks. Thus, I am learning to follow God and trust that He is the master of my time. I continuously ask Him to ensure that I cover what is most important, what my students need. Only He knows what directions the lives of my students will take, and for that reason, He is really the only One who knows what I need to be teaching to best aid my students in life. It's an overwhelming adventure and one that is increasing my dependency on God. I am already done with week two which means I only have 5 weeks left in this placement. God has made it very clear that He has me here right now for a purpose (even if I don't know what it is), and I want Him to be in control of all that transpires.

Meanwhile, I am reading the book The Cost of Discipleship by Dietrich Bonhoeffer, and it is powerful stuff. Dietrich Bonhoeffer was a German pastor during the time of Adolf Hitler, and he was a part of the resistance against the Nazis. He ultimately was martyred. This book, although I just started it, is highly convicting. So, I wanted to share just a bit with you today:

In the second chapter, "The Call to Discipleship," he starts out by talking about the call of Jesus. He points out:
The response of the disciples is an act of obedience, not a confession of faith in Jesus . . . According to our text, there is no road to faith or discipleship, no other road--only obedience to the call of Jesus. . . . To follow in his steps is something which is void of all content. It gives us no intelligible programme for a way of life, no goal or ideal to strive after. . . . At the call, Levi leaves all that he has--but not because he thinks that he might be doing something worth while, but simply for the sake of the call. Otherwise, he cannot follow in the steps of Jesus. . . . He is called out, and has to forsake his old life in order that he may 'exist' in the strictest sense of the word. The old life is left behind, and completely surrendered. The disciple is dragged out of his relative security into a life of absolute insecutiry (that is, in truth, into the absolute security and safety of the fellowship of Jesus), from a life which is observable and calculable (it is, in fact, quite incalculable) into a life where everything is unobservable and fortuitous (that is, into one which is necessary and calculable) out of the realm of finite (which is in truth the infinite) into the realm of infinite possibilites (which is the one liberating reality). . . . it is the exact opposite of all legality. It is nothing else than bondage to Jesus Christ alone, completely breaking through every programme, every ideal, every set of laws. No other significance is possible, since Jesus is the only significance. He alone matters. . . . The grace of his call bursts all the bonds of legalism.

There is so much I take away from just this passage! How often do we water down what it truly means to be a Christian when we assert to unbelievers that all it takes is a confession of faith in Jesus? Being a follower of Christ which is what the word "Christian" essentially means to me does take an act of obedience. Furthermore, how often to we try to boil down the Christian life into a set of steps or a formula? How often in my life have I heard, "Well, now that you're a Christian, to keep following Jesus, all you need to do is get into church, pray every day, and start reading the Bible"? And while those elements may be beneficial and may very well be part of the Christian life, is that it? Absolutely not! There's so much more than that. I have heard the term "for the sake of the call," but I don't think I fully understood the depth of that statement until I read this passage. When we try to justify or rationalize what it means to follow Jesus, we fall into legalism and formulaic laws when it is clear that following Jesus has no content. The purpose of following Jesus isn't to become more moral or to make something of ourselves or even to experience a prosperous life. The purpose of Jesus is just that--following Jesus, obediently. Everything else follows and pales in comparison.

Christianity without the living Christ is inevitably Christianity without discipleship, and Christianity without discipleship is always Christianity without Christ. . . . In such a religion there is trust in God, but no following of Christ. Because the Son of God became Man, because he is the Mediator, for that reason alone the only true relation we can have with him is to follow him. . . . Only the Mediator, the God-Man, can call men to follow him. Discipleship without Jesus Christ is a way of our own choosing. It may be the ideal way, It may even lead to martyrdom, but it is devoid of all promise. Jesus will certainly reject it.

How often do we as Christians follow Christianity without following Christ? Or how often to we follow a "dead Christ"--our own beliefs of who He is and what He wants and what following Him looks like--rather than the living Christ who will often provide no rationale for the obedience He calls us to? I believe that this simple assertion addresses a fundamental problem within mainstream Christianity. What is it about Christians that makes them different from the rest of the world, from the rest of religions? It's Christ, pure and simple. But if we are not following Him and recklessly obeying Him, we look just like the world, trying to earn our way to greatness. We try to entice others into following this dead Jesus idol that we have created for ourselves when Jesus is the only One who can call men to follow Him, and the way that He can often do that is not through our formulas and quotas but through the witness of our following Jesus without shame or insecurity. So often in church nowadays the discipleship that is taking place is from a pastor to a parishioner rather than from Jesus to all. Often, a pastor is seen as the mediator between God and the church, when God never meant for it to be that way. Jesus is the only mediator, and He is the only One who can and should be discipling each of us equally.

Bonhoeffer then begins to speak of the lessons of Luke 9:57-62:
"And they went to another village. And as they went in the way, a certain man said unto him, I will follow thee whithersoever thou goest. And Jesus said unto him, The foxes have holes, and the birds of heaven have nests, but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head. And he said unto another, Follow me. But he said, Lord, suffer me first to go and bury my father. But he said unto him, Leave the dead to bury their dead, but go thou and publish abroad the kingdom of God. And another said, I will follow thee, Lord; but suffer me first to bid farewell to them that are at my house. But Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand unto the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God."
. . . The third would-be disciple, like the first, thinks that following Christ means that he must make the offer on his own initiative, as if it were a career he had mapped out for himself. There is however a difference between the first would-be disciple and the third, for the third is bold enough to stipulate his own terms. Unfortunately, however, he lands himself in a hopeless inconsistency, for although he is ready enough to throw in his lot with Jesus, he succeeds in putting up a barrier between himself and the Master. 'Suffer me first.' He wants to follow, but feels obliged to insist on his own terms. Discipleship to him is a possibility which can only be realized when certain conditions have been fulfilled. This is to reduce discipleship to the level of human understanding. First you must do this and then you must do that. There is a right time for everything. The disciple places himself at the Master's disposal, but at the same time retains the right to dictate his own terms. But then discipleship is no longer discipleship, but a programme of our own to be arranged to suit ourselves, and to be judged in accordance with the standards of a rational ethic. The trouble about this third would-be disciple is that at the very moment he expresses his willingness to follow, he ceases to want to follow at all. By making his offer on his own terms, he alters the whole position, for discipleship can tolerate no conditions which might come between Jesus and our obedience to him. . . . His [the third would-be disciple's] desires conflict not only with what Jesus wants, but also with what he wants himself.
This state of the third would-be disciple is the one I find to be the most convicting. How often do we as Christians say to God, "I'll do ___________ if You just ___________"? Even the attitude toward missions in many churches demonstrates this idea of approaching the call of Jesus as if it were a career. People will ask me, "Well, when did you first receive the call to be a missionary?" And I have trouble with this question because I don't have a specific moment that I can pinpoint and because I believe that we've all been called! To me, being a missionary is a state of the heart, a reckless following of Jesus, and a dependency on Him alone no matter where one is. Being a missionary, to me, is a natural result of the discipleship of Jesus, and it's evident in the Gospels. He called the disciples; they obeyed; He discipled them; He sent them out into the world as missionaries. As I am about to enter the second month of my last semester in college, I continuously see the necessity of being single-minded in the following of Christ. I want to live in the reality of His Kingdom despite what circumstances I may see around me. I want Him to have the only significance in my life.

If we would follow Jesus we must take certain definite steps. The first step, which follows the call, cuts the disciple off from his previous existence. The call to follow at once produces a new situation. To stay in the old situation makes discipleship impossible. . . . since He is the Christ, he must make it clear from the start that his word is not an abstract doctrine, but the re-creation of the whole life of man. The only right and proper way is quite literally to go with Jesus. The call to follow implies that there is only one way of believing on Jesus Christ, and that is by leaving all and going with the incarnate Son of God. The first step places the disciple in the situation where faith is possible. If he refuses to follow and stays behind, he does not learn how to believe. He who is called must go out of his situation in which he cannot believe, into the situation in which, first and foremost, faith is possible. But this step is not the first stage of a career. Its sole justification is that it brings the disciple into fellowship with Jesus which will be victorious. So long as Levi sits at the receipt of custom, and Peter at his nets, they could both pursue their trade honestly and dutifully, and they might both enjoy religious experiences, old and new. But if they want to believe in God, the only way is to follow his incarnate Son.
Until that day, everything had been different. They could remain in obscurity, pursuing their work as the quiet in the land, observing the law and waiting for the coming of the Messiah. But now he has come, and his call goes forth. Faith can no longer mean sitting still and waiting--they must rise and follow him. The call frees them from all earthly ties, and binds them to Jesus Christ alone. They must burn their boats and plunge into absolute insecurity in order to learn the demand and the gift of Christ. Had Levi stayed at his post, Jesus might have been his present help in trouble, but not the Lord of his whole life. In other words Levi would never have learnt to believe. The new situation must be created, in which it is possible to believe on Jesus as God incarnate; that is the impossible situation in which everything is staked solely on the word of Jesus. Peter had to leave the ship and risk his life on the sea, in order to learn both is own weakness and the almighty power of his Lord. If Peter had not taken the risk, he would never have learnt the meaning of faith. Before he can believe, the utterly impossible and ethically irresponsible situation on the waves of the sea must be displayed. The road to faith passes through obedience to the call of Jesus. Unless a definite step is demanded, the call vanishes into thin air, and if men imagine that they can follow Jesus without taking this step, they are deluding themselves like fanatics.

I can't even break that passage down because it speaks so much for itself. I want the unending desire of my heart to be the reckless obedience of Jesus, blind following for the sake of the call, and the road of risk, faith, and discipleship.

With love,
Sarah

Isaiah 51

On my first snow day as a student teacher, I just thought I'd share this. It has been a bit of a rescue since I've been back from Honduras.

from Isaiah 51:
For the Lord will comfort Zion; He will comfort all her waste places. And he will make her wilderness like Eden, and her desert like the garden of the Lord. Joy and gladness will be found in her, thanksgiving and the voice of song or instrument of praise. . . . on My arm shall they trust and wait with hope. . . . And the redeemed of the Lord shall return and come with singing to Zion; everlasting joy shall be upon their heads. They shall obtain joy and gladness, and sorrow and sighing shall flee away. . . . I, even I, am He Who comforts you.

With exceeding joy,
Sarah

In Spirit and in Truth

Hello All,

I realize that I haven't updated in a while and haven't said a word about how Honduras was. (It was truly wonderful and so needed as always.) To be honest, I didn't journal much while I was there, so whether or not I catch you up on the happenings hangs in the balance right now.

I'm back at school and took Praxis II (a standardized test I need to be certified in West Virginia) this past weekend. Tomorrow is my first day of student teaching (provided that the weather doesn't adjust that). Both of my placement teachers seem like wonderful people and quite willing to let me jump in and be a part and eventually be in charge of their classrooms. I am thrilled and also rather intimidated. While they keep pep talking us about how the children aren't going to eat us, it's never the children that make me nervous--it's the fact that I feel so unqualified. I have reached a place in my life where the more I look at the world and even the things that bother me within the world, the more I realize that I have no answers. And the more I grasp my deep need to maintain humbled, on my knees before the Lord. Thus, student teaching is another opportunity to honor God and to be a vessel of His love. I am humbled that He has given me this privilege and further amazed that this is my last semester before graduating.

One small lesson that popped up in Honduras was the idea of what it means to worship God in spirit and in truth. A lot of translations refer to "truth" in that scripture as "reality." What does it mean to worship God in reality? I think for me it means choosing His reality over our own, choosing to see with His kingdom eyes even the circumstances before us, and putting the glory of His kingdom before all else, especially ourselves. I'm not always sure what that looks like in practical terms, but I am assured that the love of God is folly. Thus, I can't imagine what having the faith to live in God's reality must look like to the outside world. I would venture fairly foolish yet infinitely worth it.

If you think about it, take a moment to ask God what worshiping Him in spirit and in truth means for you personally. The answers may surprise you.

With love,
Sarah