Hello All,
November was a sigh of relief month in many ways. Also a time of reflection. And, a time of analyzing some new questions and possibilities. I think I exhaust myself more than anything else. But, all in all, in a month marked in the US culture by thanksgiving, we have much to be thankful for, and remembering that can often pull me out of my own preoccupations.
I took some time in late October to have a little personal retreat. I knew I would be going to a women's missionary retreat in November, and when I am around a lot of people I don't know, I get overstimulated and have a hard time really connecting with God on my own. That was still possible to a degree, but I was thankful for the time that I took in quieting and preparing my soul personally ahead of time. Life had just gotten really loud and busy. Some of that loudness was just my own thoughts. When God gives me a clear direction, I am steadfast and decided with no qualms. But, when I am left to my own devices about what I want or what I think I should do, indecisiveness and self-doubt plague me to an obnoxious level. During that personal retreat, I didn't really receive any of the answers I was seeking for decisions, but I did receive the presence of God and the reminder of my safety in Him. That is often more important anyway.
One of the questions I had was in regard to our vehicle situation. Since June, we had been praying for, waiting for, saving for, seeking out, and needing a different vehicle. We had been nonstop fixing the car we had, and it was becoming ridiculous just how often that car was in the shop. By the time we did sell it, it was functioning well, but the cycle we walked through to get there seemed unending. At the beginning of that personal retreat, I posted on a Facebook buy/sell group what exactly we were looking for in a vehicle. But, I forgot to include where we were located as the group has members from all over Honduras. As it turns out, God used my oversight in the best way. All of the responses I received weren't at all what we were looking for except for one--a 2004 Honda CRV in San Pedro Sula, a city several hours away, that had everything we'd been asking God for. Long story short, at the tail end of October, we bought it, easily sold the other car, and have felt thoroughly cared for by God throughout the whole thing. I can't tell you how much it blessed me to see God care about the details we had asked for when we were prepared to settle for anything close. It was such a testimony to God's faithfulness after months where it felt tempting to wonder if God was paying attention.
Just a week before my personal retreat, we received notice that Raúl's visa appointment had been scheduled. From what I've heard, most things shut down around December, so we were very blessed that Raúl's appointment was scheduled for November. This answer was a long time coming, and it was a relief to feel like I wasn't going to miss the holidays with my family in vain. Normally, when I go to the States for the holidays, I try to go right before my Dad's birthday, November 21. Because we didn't know when Raúl's appointment would be, I decided the best thing would be for me to not go to the States for the holidays this year, risking having to come back for Raúl's appointment and wasting the money on a ticket. And, lo and behold, Raúl's appointment is on my Dad's birthday, in less than a week. I am still pretty sad to miss Christmas with my family, but I am hopeful and encouraged that by spring, Raúl could be able to go with me to the States for my brother's graduation. We would appreciate your prayers for God's favor and open doors. We have done everything legally; we are armed with a binder full of paperwork; and obviously, we are a married couple who has gone from friendship to dating to marriage just like any other married couple. But, given the nature of what's at stake, how much we've spent, and just how challenging the process is in general, we are anxious to finish this process with a joyous outcome.
I want to take a moment to just share some facts about our process with you because I think a lot of times there is great ignorance about just how difficult and truly expensive the legal process is to be able to immigrate or even visit the US. When Raúl and I were still just friends, he tried to get his tourist visa to visit the US with me. He was denied. That time, they didn't really give him much of a reason. That application not including pictures and other paperwork was $160, and that is not refunded even if you get denied. Three years later, while we were dating, just before we got engaged, Raúl tried again. I didn't even want to try again, but he did. He was so much more confident that time because he had more than enough money in the bank, had property and real estate in his name, owned his own business, etc. Once again, they denied him, saying, "We don't give visas to people climbing the socioeconomic ladder." That was another $160 not including paperwork and photos. When we got engaged, we tossed around our options of getting married in the States with a K visa or getting married in Honduras and applying for US residency from Honduras. At the time of this decision, my grandfather was ill with lung cancer, and we had no idea how much longer he might live as he was told his cancer was treatable but not curable. We ultimately decided that economically and logistically it made more sense for us to get married in Honduras because if we went the K visa route, he might have had to wait over a year in the US for his green card. And, he would've had to wait months for a work permit, and he doesn't speak English. Just too many factors considering we had our entire lives built in Honduras. There were two major factors that spurred us to want to take action in his immigration process right after getting married (not everyone does): 1) The health of my grandfather because I wanted Raúl to be able to meet him and 2) The crazy expenses the whole process was going to require. I knew that if we waited until we had kids or on down the line, the expenses might have been too extreme for our finances, and at this time, Raúl had already been saving for a while. I spent days researching immigration lawyers, and we ultimately decided to go with an immigration lawyer instead of doing it all ourselves (read: me doing it by myself since Raúl does not do administrative things). I wouldn't say going with a lawyer was 100% necessary, but I am grateful we have done it that way because there were certain aspects I had questions on that I knew I wasn't going to be able to answer. And, one aspect of how fast the process goes is which center is processing your application, and I had no way of knowing which centers processed faster than others. Apart from this, we wanted to ensure our ongoing, reputable legality especially since we still hope to proceed to getting Raúl's citizenship on down the line.
We started the immigration process in August of last year. At this point, among lawyer fees, government application fees, and the medical exam, we are very close to $4000 spent if not more. Yesterday Raúl had his medical exam. You are only allowed to get your medical exam with doctors approved by the embassy. In Tegucigalpa, you can only have the medical exam done at one of, if not the most expensive hospital in the city. In Honduras, especially in impoverished families, keeping records of vaccines isn't the norm, so Raúl had no vaccination records. I could never find enough clear info to know what vaccines they would require. The lists seemed to contradict each other. And, I didn't know if they'd do blood work to determine what he'd already had or if they'd just give them to him anyway. It took 5 and half hours for about 10 minutes of examination, vaccines, and tests, and it cost $425. If he does receive his visa, there is a new, additional $220 fee that we'll have to pay before we can leave the country. It is an intense process requiring loads of paperwork and haggling with Honduran government offices. Each document often carries its own fee to obtain. My point is--the average Honduran or the most desperate Honduran who is living off of $4 or less a day could not ever afford to apply to enter the US as an immigrant legally even if they sold everything they own, and even if by some miracle they did come up with that kind of money, there is no guarantee they'll receive it. And, the most desperate Honduran who has had little to no formal education would have no idea how to navigate that legal process of paperwork without help. I am not telling you what conclusions you need to draw here as I think immigration is a vastly complicated issue, but I do think that if you are going to make the argument that the people in the caravans should enter the US legally, you should at least have all of the information about just how difficult and expensive that process is.
Next week, we'll go to the embassy and have his interview. I've heard mixed input as to whether they will allow me to accompany him or not. And, Raúl, who has now been rejected for a tourist visa twice (which is an entirely different kind of process) and who has invested so much into this process, is understandably nervous. We appreciate your prayers for us on November 21.
After this whirlwind of answered prayers, I went to a Women of Purpose retreat for missionary women. It was founded and has continued for various years through the dedicated work of some West Virginian women! I had no idea that the ladies behind the event were from West Virginia, but it so warms my heart to come across a West Virginian throughout various parts of the world. These ladies from Parkersburg and Ohio are doing good things. I have to say that while I don't know what the mission field is like in other countries, as I've entered the missionary community more in the last couple of years, I have been blessed by what missionaries to Honduras do well. They network and share tips and help through Facebook groups. They establish church congregations and Bible studies to keep their missionaries encouraged. And the Honduran Fellowship of Missionaries and Ministries seeks to unify ministries throughout the country and truly work together to bring the Kingdom of God to Honduras. I have been blessed to receive helpful information from other North American women married to Hondurans. I have been blessed to receive a heads up about medical brigades and resources that can serve the people we work with. And, above all else, I have felt much more a sense of belonging and a dissipation of loneliness through the women's Bible study I have been attending with women of all different kinds of ministries from all different denominations. (With that said, I know that on a microcosm level, once you get into the inner workings of some of this stuff, that there is mess and disagreements because we're humans, but if nothing else, I applaud the efforts to work toward unity.) It was a blessing to meet some other missionary ladies and get to spend some time with some of the sweet people I have met through serving at Missionary Kid camp and going to Bible study. And it was nice to spend some guided time with God and in worship in English. There were some specific things that God started talking to me about during that retreat, but I think I will share more about that at a later date.
In terms of a normal update, our small group continues to meet on Saturdays. We have been studying and praying for other countries and other missionaries, and I've been encouraged that our kids have been asking what the next country will be that we study. It's so important to me that our kids expand their world vision and that they develop a global idea of the Body of Christ. That, to me, helps prevent a victim mentality in a developing country and equips them to better carry out the Great Commission. And, I have to say that I've been impressed by some of the comments from some of our people that have shown that they are educating themselves about the needs of the rest of the world. This Saturday will be our last week talking about prophecy. It's been a very long study but a very good one. Most of our kids come from charismatic backgrounds where they've perhaps seen some of the prophetic, but they've also seen the prophetic be abused for man's own gain. I've enjoyed their questions and seeing them mature as they've learned that it's possible and important to grow in the gift of prophecy just as it is for any other gift. Last week, we talked about the importance of tracking prophetic words and building relationship with those who receive our words so as to know whether we heard correctly from God or not (and to humbly take responsibility when we've missed it). I think our next study is going to be about evangelism.
Our students are at the tail end of their school year, and we've been riding a bit of a roller coaster with some of them. In general, they've been doing well in their studies, but as is always the case with young people, there have been some situations to navigate that we need wisdom for. We also have been continuing to accept scholarship applications from the kids in our small group. It's not totally clear at this point who we will be supporting next year, but we will be narrowing that down because registration for the next school year starts in January. Right now, what I do know is that Estefanny would like to study in a private university. Given the tumultuous issues of the public university that can often cause great delays in finishing college studies on time, I can understand her heart's desire even as it challenges my faith with finances. I don't have any clear answers on that just yet, but I do feel a little bit like I'm in my dad's position and Stef is in mine from when I was her age. I was adamant in believing that God was going to provide for my college education, and while I think it was challenging for my dad having a bit more experience with real-life finances, he backed me up. And God came through in astounding ways. Is there really any reason why this situation should be any different?
As we prepare for Thanksgiving (it so feels like it just crept up on me), I just want to re-iterate how good God is. For the past three months, my ladies' Bible study has been studying suffering and God's goodness. Those themes were so timely for me in the midst of hard loss, inconveniences, and confusion. I know that worry is having faith in the wrong direction, and the only way for me to re-center my faith on my Maker is through remembering His goodness. That, for me, had to start not from the external inward but from making a point to spend time with God in the midst of frustrations, to be still and silent with Him instead of running around making lists and devising solutions, and to let myself receive His love when part of me only wanted His answers in my circumstances. I'm definitely still a work in progress. But, at least for this season, I had to place my thoughts, desires, and needs back into the hands of the Father trusting His goodness before I had any solutions or answers in my outward circumstances. The stillness and relief had to start in my own heart for me to appreciate when my circumstances did change. And, a key to maintaining that mindset of hope is thankfulness. If someone would have told me at the beginning of last year that I would pay for a wedding, have my family here, get seriously sick and be hospitalized, start Raúl's immigration process and then the following year continue Raúl's immigration process payments, return unexpectedly to the US for my grandfather's funeral, and buy a different vehicle, there is no way I could have wrapped my head around that. God's faithfulness in provision has been beyond belief. His presence and peace in the midst of sickness and loss have been what has held my family and I together. And His continued attention to the desires of my heart have drawn me out to security when I was teetering on the edge of bitterness. He is good, better than I give Him credit for sometimes, and He is always worthy of our gratitude.
Much love,
Sarah
