Photo by Timo Wagner
Hello All,
COVID and Provision UpdateWe had a huge jump in cases this month. We’re up to 27,583 cases and 771 deaths. Those seem like just numbers, but when I compare them to last month’s newsletter, it’s astounding the explosion of cases we’ve experienced. Our re-opening efforts have ceased at least in the capital of Tegucigalpa, and we remain on lockdown. Hospitals are still in crisis with patients sleeping on the floors and in office chairs or relegated to flimsy tents outside of the hospitals in the middle of the rainy season. We have now reached the point where people we know here are infected, and we’re getting calls about families needing money to buy caskets. A friend of Raúl’s passed away from COVID. This past month, Raúl lost some of his sense of smell and had a low-grade fever for one day. I eventually got tested after having a low-grade fever for two weeks, but I tested negative. The fever also went away thankfully. In the midst of all of this, some of our family members and neighbors have had health situations arise that have nothing to do with COVID, but given the state of the medical system (at least here), it's been difficult to navigate getting help and appointments for other issues. Yet, God has been faithful in opening doors and providing healing. In the missionary community, a lot of us are noticing signs of stress like insomnia and tachycardia, lethargy and headaches. It’s just all been a lot to take in, and we’re fighting to keep the hope some days. Meanwhile, we continue to distribute food to needy families. We’re up to 180 bags, but the price of staple items is increasing. Due to the drought we had last year, beans especially are scarce. Raúl continues to spearhead the efforts of buying food and distributing. We don't know how long this kind of relief giving will go on because we don't know how long we'll continue to be on lockdown and how long people will be out of work. So, we continue to give as we are able because that's the current next right thing to do.
Anniversary
In just a few days, Raúl and I will celebrate three years of being married. We currently don't have any grand plans for celebrating at home, but we have started comparing notes in the evenings of what we're observing in our world and how we feel about it. The conclusion we've come to even in the midst of so much injustice and heartbreak is that God is faithful, and we feel deep gratitude. Despite the circumstances, we have managed to grow in our marriage during this time of quarantine. We've had all that we've needed and enough to be a vessel of provision to others. Raúl has been able to continue to work, and I have been able to continue to work from home. While last month brought some uncertainty and nervousness in regard to health, we've truly been okay. We still continue to try to be wise in our precautions, but it's a balance of serving and taking care as the Lord leads. Throughout our three years, we've had experiences together on both ends of the spectrum of joy and pain, but we've continued to choose one another and to fight to grow. This is worth celebrating.
Grad School
One way that I am fighting to grow in this time is through grad school. As I believe I've mentioned before, for over a year, I have had a deep desire to get my master's in Christian counseling. I've been a missionary for almost nine years, and I have learned that so much of what we see in ministry has root issues that need to be addressed. We have offered many educational opportunities to young people over the years, but oftentimes, the opportunities haven't been carried to their greatest fruition because the young person is struggling with addictions or has low self-esteem or has trauma that has never healed. We want to see the people in our ministry fulfill their God-given callings and potentials, but I have learned that it's not a matter of just extending a hand up in terms of education or a job or evangelism. I have come to believe that the most effective ministry has to consider and reach the whole person--past, present, and future--and spiritually, emotionally, and physically. While I have tried to minister with this mindset, in many cases, I have felt ill-equipped to counsel in circumstances of drug addiction, past sexual abuse or incest, and so many other issues. I have done the best to let myself be led by the Holy Spirit, but I also believe in being proactive in education. Thus, last year, I got the VIPKID online teaching job with the goal of saving money to start grad school. Hilariously, it became evident that the job alone was not going to cut it. But, God has been dealing with me in healing my ideas of His provision. So often, I feel like His provision depends on my administration and efforts. Good stewardship is very important, and it's something I always want to be diligent about. I also always want to be a hard worker. Yet, being responsible can also become an idol of ego. When I am determined to make something happen in my own strength, I can feel like I'm doing the right thing because I'm being so responsible, but in actuality, I'm trying to choose self-sufficiency over God's supernatural provision. This adventure of finances for grad school has been a great lesson that I don't want to be the one solely responsible for my dreams or for His dreams. While I always want to steward well, I don't want to strive to make things happen in my own strength. So, in true Father form, God has so richly granted me the ability to save more money than I ever thought possible. I am still working and stewarding my abilities to generate income, but I also have seen the Lord intervene in ways that my efforts weren't covering the need. As I have been seeking the Lord about how to best prepare for the next season--the aftermath that the world will be facing of so much loss and uncertainty and suffering on a global scale--this is the path I believe He is leading me in. I want to prepare myself to serve others in their healing process, to be able to connect in their relationships with God and others, and to meet the potential that God has always had for them. Therefore, I applied to online grad school at the Townsend Institute at Concordia University-Irvine in California and was accepted. Starting grad school in quarantine was not on my radar at all, yet God has opened doors and provided confirmations that this is how He is leading. I start classes on August 3rd, and I would appreciate your prayers: 1) That God would continue to provide the funds for my studies. 2) That God would be the center of all that I'm learning, and that I would grow to fulfill the potential that He has placed within me. 3) That I would be able to navigate and discern how to balance my time to be able to complete this program and also fulfill the other roles I have going on in my life and in ministry.
Psalm 23
This month, my ladies' Bible study has been meeting online to study Psalm 23. It's a familiar passage, but it has felt relevant during this continued time of lockdown. Even though some days feel like the movie, Groundhog Day, this truly hasn't been wasted time. I can look back and see ways that God has been teaching me and speaking to me. He provided rest at the start of this quarantine when I needed it and needed to take better stock of the priorities of my time. Even though my physical paths to walk are quite limited, He has led me in learning and growing and in what my focus should be throughout this time. He has given me permission to admit when I'm in a valley. I don't have to put on a brave face and act like everything is okay when I'm actually having a hard day or struggling to have hope. That's the beauty of the testimony--being able to recognize that I'm in a valley but still finding that He is with me. Being able to be honest with God and others about how I'm really feeling has led to comfort and growth. And, as troubling as circumstances have been, God has prepared a table in the presence of our enemies and has demonstrated just how His goodness and mercy pursue us. Starting grad school seemed impossible even in the most normal of circumstances, so being able to start fulfilling a dream that felt impossible in the midst of such a hard season for the world is honestly so humbling. It's a gift that I have struggled to receive, but I believe that it is ultimately for God's glory. We want to be missionaries that are able to be sensitive to and serve the immediate need, but we also want to be missionaries that can see beyond current circumstances to prepare for future needs as Joseph did in Egypt. I believe that equipping myself to counsel others with wisdom and greater education is part of being diligent in seeing God's bigger picture and allowing Him to lead in preparation even though it can feel sort of selfish to me.
Prayer and Worship
A common thread and solidifying practice that we have kept up throughout quarantine is prayer and worship. While our egos are dying from lack of "doing," we're also becoming more aware of how much we have underestimated the power of prayer and worship. We cannot control government corruption that is siphoning off funds for COVID patients, but we can pray with the authority of a higher kingdom. We may not be present with those who are isolated in hospitals, but we can pray to send ministering angels to comfort. We can walk through the valley and yet still feel intimately close to Him, and we can intercede for the world with the persistence and faith of those who marched around Jericho. Here are our worship playlists from the last month:
Lord, Have Mercy by Lindsey -- This list was geared especially toward praying into the situations of racial injustice in the US and around the world.
O Church, Arise by Lindsey -- God is calling His Church to be in tune with Him and His will during this time and to arise to take our place as the Bride of Christ.
Valley -- Based on Psalm 23, this list is about being able to name our valleys but still remaining in the faithfulness of God. We don't have to pretend that everything is okay; we can be honest with the Lord. He responds by being present with us, and in His presence, we find the strength to walk through trials to our next mountain.
The Battle Belongs to the Lord by Lindsey -- It doesn't matter what battle we are facing because we have victory in our Savior. This song is about perseverance in worship and prayer.
Intercession -- This list is about coming to Lord willing to declare who we know Him to be and to ask Him to stir greater compassion for others in our hearts. We want compassion to be what stirs us to intercession. We also want to recognize the authority God has given us in spiritual warfare to join in with the angels who are warring on behalf of the world for God's diving purposes.
Thank you for your continued support and prayers. We so appreciate it.
All of my love,
Sarah
