At the beginning of every year, I like to have a plan and idea of our ministerial goals for the year. As I write this, I have been back in Honduras for a few days after a couple months to ponder those questions, and I still feel at a loss because of COVID. The medical system in Honduras is under great strain, and I have found myself comparing notes with other missionaries as we wrestle the ethical questions of how to love others well without contributing to COVID deaths and the burden on medical professionals. There are no easy or convenient answers.
Every year, I also ask the Lord to give me one word to serve as a theme to God’s leading for the year. This year, my word is “time.” I don’t know how God will utilize that word throughout this year, but I am increasingly feeling that God is inviting me to surrender my concepts of productivity and planning as they relate to time. Proverbs 16:9 says, “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” We had a lot of plans for 2020, but 2020 didn’t look the way anyone expected it to.
The word “unprecedented” was thrown around a lot in 2020 in relation to US politics, hurricanes in Honduras, and COVID-19. In my counseling classes, I have been learning that the human brain is wired for anticipation. We utilize our past experiences to predict the ways that we should behave. Much of the stress of 2020 and going into 2021 comes from those “unprecedented” circumstances. Our brains are grasping at straws trying to regain a sense of control which is why people are responding very differently to the same circumstances.
It can be tempting to feel like this season is a loss because it is keeping us from normalcy, but God created our markers of time and said they were good. In Ecclesiastes, it says that there is a time for everything; thus, time is not meant to be our enemy. God sees time as good, even this time during COVID and other trying circumstances is full of purpose and redemption even in spite of suffering. During these unprecedented times, I believe God is giving us an opportunity to grasp what it truly means to enter into His Sabbath rest, to abide in His sense of time, and to partner with Him in redeeming time. Rather than the striving question of “Am I doing enough?”, I want to be able to answer “Am I doing and being what God is asking of me for this season?” without making assumptions based on my own insecurities. I have no idea what 2021 will hold, but I am committed to stopping for the One and also deepening my intimacy with God to know how to respond to each person, situation, idea, and need that appears. We can get so focused on what we are working toward in the present, for the future, that we can forget how to be loving, godly, surrendered people today. We can become so focused on fear of the future or how long our circumstances will persist that we can forget to fully live in our current reality. Dr. Curt Thompson, Christian psychiatrist, encourages us to take a cue from Psalm 13 and learn to delight daily in who God is. We can trust that this time is not wasted and that He is utilizing this time for His Kingdom’s benefit and our benefit. The best way that we can partner with God to redeem this time is to align ourselves with His will and character every day.
So often in missions we can hide behind agendas or mission statements. We certainly need boundaries and cannot meet every need, so having plans and defined goals helps us to know what is purposeful and what may be a good thing but not the best thing. However, missions still start in the heart of our character more so than in our geographic location or our chosen population to minister to. I don't want to hide behind the justification that I distributed food today, so I can ignore my husband's need for patience as he does his English lessons. I don't want to be in such a hurry to check off my to do list that I miss the opportunity to attentively listen to someone whose tone of voice on the phone tells me that they're at a breaking point. I have long believed that missions has to be rooted in intimacy with God, to know His heart, to know the calling He has on our lives, and to make decisions that line up with His vantage point of eternity. This year, probably more than ever before, I feel an invitation to return to that simplicity because of the ethical dilemmas presented by COVID. Right now, I think if we try to apply blanket approaches to our situations, we're going to miss so many opportunities for healing, restoration, and hope. It's uncomfortable to have to make so many decisions with patience and a continually inclined ear toward the Lord, but it's the only place of safety for me.
Thus, my plan for this year boils down to being mindful and patient to discern with God every day what it is that He is asking me to do--to scoop up serendipitous moments that weren't on my time table, to take the time to be aware of my deeper motivations for both precautions and calculated risks, and to be sensitive to the needs around me with the guiding light of God's perspective of eternity. That's a tall order, and I know there will be times when I miss it. Yet, I feel that I may just look back at this season of missions as being one of the most pivotal.
With all of that said, January and February are inevitably a time to focus on administrative tasks such as tax preparation and NGO reports for the Honduran government. It's also a time to get our fingers on the pulse of what the greatest needs are within our community and relationships. This year, that is likely going to involve a lot of innovation in order to also keep people safe and to be responsible for any ripple effect our actions may have. As I have been saying, we so need prayers for wisdom. Even with limitations, I feel hope and a certain excitement for this year. One of my counseling professors says, "The obstacle is the way out," and I am holding onto that as we consider new ways of ministering. It's possible that some of the ways we innovate in this season could be a new divine direction toward God's strategy. Thus, I am trying not to see circumstances as disappointing but rather inviting. God is creative, and He gives us the ability to be creative as well. We are committed to still being good stewards and still loving others well, and we're also willing to seek the Lord and be patient to discern what that looks like.
If there are ways that your ministry, your business, your church, or your family have been innovating in COVID times that are working for you, I'd love to hear about them and learn from you! Feel free to send me an e-mail at sarah.crickenberger@gmail.com . In the mean time, thank you as always for your support, for keeping up with us, and for your prayers.
All of my love,
Sarah
