Ya viene la primavera...

Hello All,
A month has already passed since my last update, and I have once again celebrated another anniversary—this time six months here in my beloved Honduras! My love affair with this place and these precious people is one that continues no matter how much time passes. Recently, I’ve been reminded of the little wonders that first drew me into this life in the first place. Simple luxuries like sandy mud puddles, rolling white clouds even at night, flour tortillas, fresh mango, sun-dried laundry, lazy afternoon conversations over coffee, worship in Spanish, and the warmth of Jesus’ smile beaming over the lives of orphans still warm my heart. My thankfulness at being here renews every day—even on the difficult days.

Today is a rainy day, and as I live at the top of a mountain, when I look out the window, it’s as if I’m sitting in the midst of a cloud as I write this. The tingling of the rain on the tin roof is keeping me company, and I can smell Nicaraguan run-down (a kind of soup) in the kitchen. I never grow weary of the sound of some of the strongest women I know speaking in Spanish. I have learned so much from Nelly and Sara and so many others who pass through this house. So many have adopted me, and I feel so privileged to have so many spiritual mothers. I don’t know that they’ll ever understand how much I draw from their strength and their pushing me to be strong as well.

Just as anticipated, life has gone from quite quiet and lonely to bustling and teeming with people. I love that even though there really isn’t too much of a change of seasons here that God still brings me through spiritual winters to gloriously green spring times of growth. I feel as if God has indeed lifted me up and has taken my hand to guide me forward. I still don’t have a plan or a concrete sense of direction. I still have no idea what I’ll be doing a year from now or even a month from now. But, what is making all the difference in the world is that I can feel the Father’s hand in mine. I may not know where we’re going, but I feel His presence so close, and if He’s the One leading, I am more than willing to follow. Lately, He has allowed me the chance to catch my breath, to emerge from a fog that was only allowing me to see my life from a very limited perspective, and to reflect upon how far I’ve come.

As I read back over blog entries from my half a year of living here, I can see with great clarity that God has been so consistent and so true to every word He’s spoken through every situation, every person, and every Scripture. I love that while we humans can be a roller coaster of changing emotions and desires, God truly never changes. He writes stories that have no holes in the plot and that are a continuous, branching thread. Yesterday, I was sitting in the Eagle’s Nest and just began to remember everything that has happened in such a short span of time. Even though I don’t live there anymore, that house still feels like home, and it baffles me to know that I am a much stronger person now than I was even just six months ago. God has indeed been teaching me little by little. Last year, I ran a 5k race—my second one for the year—during a time when I was student teaching and hadn’t been running at all. The course had numerous hills and wasn’t just confined to roads, and my lack of running led to an abysmal time compared to the one I’d run only months earlier while I’d been training. I was rather discouraged, but even as I was running at a snail’s pace, I heard God clearly say, “Sometimes, your walk with Me is going to be slow. That’s okay. Just keep going.” I have come back to that simple moment so many times in the past couple of months because it is always an ongoing journey that, at times, can be quite slow. But, God is always at work.


During all of this time, Jesus has been dancing with me and holding me just as He said He would, and even though I didn’t always recognize it as such, with each new challenge, just as it talks about in Ezekiel 47, God has been inviting me to come deeper and to live in the Spirit rather than in the flesh. Even in the moments where I doubted, He was and continues to work in ways that I can’t see. Oftentimes, we read a Scripture like Isaiah 43:19: “Behold, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs forth; do you not perceive and know it and will you not give heed to it? I will even make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert,” and we think that if we do not see this new thing brewing before our eyes that God is lying. Yet, I can honestly say that this has been a wilderness time for me, but God has been doing a new thing behind the scenes and in the chambers of my own heart. He has made so many ways in the wilderness and is teaching me to heed to the new thing He is doing (even when I don’t know what it is). In the process, He has hardened me to difficulties, has developed my patience and endurance (just as He said He would), and continues to work it all for His good and His glory. This morning, while running, I could feel the purpose of the Father in every instant that my feet hit the pavement. It is just as that word that Heidi Baker gave in that podcast: I am coming into my destiny as a laid-down lover of God and in missions and in ministry. And, the way that God is bringing me into that destiny is through suffering so that, like Jesus, I may learn an active, special obedience to the Father and a sensitivity to the Holy Spirit. I am learning to once again rest in His love and to embrace the uncertainty life has to offer. While times of limbo can be very stretching, they are so much more bearable when we take hold of the truth that God is so in love with us. How could we distrust One who loves us so much, so recklessly, so relentlessly? Thus, I find myself crying out to God every morning with a heart longing to be fully possessed by the Holy Spirit and fully yielded to the calling God has upon my life.

Alvin gives the following example of the baptism of the Holy Spirit:

When we become Christians, we are like a pitcher full of water. We have accepted God’s love and salvation, so there is a measure of God’s spirit inside of us. But who is controlling the Spirit? What is controlling the water of the pitcher? When we are baptized in the Holy Spirit, it’s as if we are that same pitcher full of water but thrown into the middle of the ocean. When that is the case, what then is controlling the pitcher? Who, then, is controlling us? Are we controlling the Holy Spirit within us, or is the Holy Spirit controlling us? I so long and pray often that it would be the Holy Spirit controlling me, a loving daughter and willing vessel, rather than the other way around.

Meanwhile, I also want to give you an update on the various people who are swarming the house and who have become fixtures in my life here:
In mid-February, we had two Danish volunteers, Michael and Mathias, come to work with Manos Extendidas. They plan to be here until July or August, and I am so unbelievably grateful they are here. It is so nice to have fresh faces and to have people to keep me company. They also have joined my little group of boys that I affectionately call my “lost boys.” Ever since I was little, I have always managed to find a group of guys my age or younger who become like my adopted brothers, who I love to take care of, and who oddly end up becoming my most constant friends. My dad jokingly calls me Wendy (from Peter Pan) since I have so many “lost boys,” and while it’s silly, it’s also true because I find a following of lost boys so naturally everywhere I go. I rarely seek them out. They just seem to come to me. Thus, Michael and Mathias have joined the ranks of Raúl and the boys who hang with Raúl (Chespiro, Cristian, and Orlin). Michael has a beautifully humble heart and resonates a gentle spirit as he’s being silly with children or just listening to me ramble, and Mathias is a fearless adventurer who also scoops up children to play and carries a certain boyish sweetness that makes me playfully think of him as my little child. I am so excited to have them both here as I fully believe that God has a special blessing for them both (and because they are already great blessings to me).

Last month, we also had a team of three guys (including Mike Diehl, Tía Sally’s son) who were very easy to get along with and were fun to joke with, so it was nice to have them around. They came primarily to hang out with Alvin which was relaxing for all of us, I believe, because it was a nice change from always having teams that have to be busy or have to have a plan. Every group is different though. We also have a team right now that is sleeping and eating here but is working primarily with another ministry called Escuelas de Esperanza which helps in some impoverished schools. For anyone who knows Victor from our church, this is also the organization he has started working for.

Sara has also been in for a visit. She came around the same time as the team of three guys, and it has been so wonderful to have her here. I love that she is one of those people where it never matters how long we’ve been apart—we just pick right back up where we left off. She has been such an encouragement to me while she’s been here. I will greatly miss her when she leaves, but I do still hope to go to Nicaragua to visit for Semana Santa.

Roy’s family is still a constant presence and blessing in my life. I still see Raúl almost every day either because he comes up to eat, I visit the business, or because I’m at the Eagle’s Nest (where the Danes and Raúl live) to visit all my boys. Nahum recently had a motor bike accident that totaled his recently purchased bike and left him with some stitches and a broken leg. He is doing all right although he had Raúl and I rather scared when we first went to the hospital after the accident. Now, he’s just recuperating at home and doing his best not to be bored (which is difficult for him). Raúl, meanwhile, is still running the business although he is missing having Nahum around to help relieve some of the pressure of the work. Roy has been filling in at Nahum’s other job as an ice cream man (his cousin owns a business selling ice cream where Nahum had been working half-time), and his house is coming along quite nicely. The newest goal for the house is to lay the ceramic tile for the floor. Richard is still recovering from his broken leg, so poor Mami Sonia has her two oldest sons stuck at home. Walter is doing well, and I see him from time to time when I visit Tatumbla. Waldina is wanting to continue studying although she is also looking for teaching jobs. We recently celebrated Mami Sonia’s birthday, and as I sat in the living room surrounded by the entire family, I was once again met with a wave of gratitude and prayers that God would bless this precious family abundantly for how they have adopted and included me.

The little neighbor boys (Victor, Noland, and the twins) have all started school now, but they still visit often. Please keep Victor and Noland in your prayers especially as they live in a home with the “papa of the twins” who does not treat them with love as a father treats their sons. Please pray that God would show them a father’s love.

I’ll also give you the latest update on all of the girls from the Eagle’s Nest:

Blanca: She called Alvin recently, and she is living in a small village in the south of the country with her boyfriend—the same boyfriend she was sneaking around with when she lived in this neighborhood.

Claudia: We don’t know too much concrete information about Claudia. The only information we really have came from a phone call Claudia’s grandmother made to Raúl saying that Claudia was living with a man who beats her.

Mayra: Again, we don’t know much. In the same phone call, Claudia’s grandmother told Raúl that Chiquita has been running around in the streets. I don’t really know if that means that she’s still living with Claudia’s grandmother part of the time or not.

Quendy: Quendy is still living with her boyfriend and his family in our neighborhood. She visits often though, and she also goes to church from time to time. At the very least, her willingness to visit is evidence to me that she knows that despite of her life choices, we still love her. She turned 18 two days ago.

Kimberli: Kimberli is now living with her sister, Bessy, and her brother-in-law, Carlitos. We are still trying to get her into a school.

Lastly, my latest update is that I am hoping to visit the US for the month of June. I have Alvin’s permission to go, especially since he’ll be in Denmark with Nelly for part of that time, and I am hoping to buy my plane ticket within the next couple of days. I had been praying for a while about when I would be released to visit the US, and I didn’t receive an answer from God for quite a while. But, in light of how He is leading me and in light of ways that I’ve been obedient recently, I feel released to go at this time. I won’t lie—I’m kind of scared to go back. I miss my family and friends greatly, but I don’t miss the US. I love my life here, and my life here has become my reality rather than vice versa when I was living here during the summers and having to return to school for the majority of the year. Thus, there is a part of me that wonders what I’m going to miss while I’m gone since life will inevitably go on. But, at the same time, the thought of going home to see the people I love and miss fills me with a great excitement, and I think perhaps it could be a well-needed break and change of scenery for a renewal of perspective. Meanwhile, I think my boys (and perhaps others) are a bit worried that I won’t come back. The other day, I was telling Raúl that I was planning on going to the US for the month of June, and the conversation went as such:

“What’s that about? I thought you said you didn’t have plans to go back right now.”

“Well, I didn’t, but plane tickets have gotten cheaper, and I think it would be a good time to go in June.”

“But, why are you going?”

“I want to visit my family. This is the longest time I’ve spent away from them.”

“Ah, yeah. That’s true. But, why are you going for so long?”

“If I’m going to buy a plane ticket, I want to get the most out of my time there, especially if I don’t know when I’m going to be able to visit again.”

“Yeah, I guess so…but you’re coming back, right? When are you coming back?”

“I’ll be back at the end of June.”

“Hmmmm….okay…”


I have known for a long time that it would take a while for my Honduran friends to really trust that I am here long-term. Gaining residency has helped, but I also have known that it likely wouldn’t be until after I returned after my first visit back to the US that they would recognize that I’m committed to being here. So many gringos have said one thing and have left much sooner than they said they intended. Above all, though, I am here for as long as God directs, and there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that this is where I am called to be. So, yes, I absolutely will return. I love this place. I love these people. I love what God is doing even when I may not be able to see it. Spring time is budding below the surface of a crusty soil; we just have to be willing to wait in Him.
All my love,

Sarah