We left San Francisco and headed to Yosemite National Park. It was phenomenal. We were there only one night, but it was a wonderful. We didn't have any firewood and were tired by the time the tent was up, so I opened up what I had been excited about all day--a can of black refried beans in lime juice for dinner. While it may sound silly, eating that cold right out of the can by flashlight was one of my favorite meals of the entire trip. It tasted like Honduras home. It's the beauty of simplicity that brings me down to my knees. I would post pictures from Yosemite, especially the falls because they were so amazing, but my memory card messed up and lost all of those pictures. So, until I get Gabrielle's pictures, I don't have any from Yosemite. After Yosemite, we headed to Lake Tahoe near Zephyr Cove, Nevada. We had gotten the last site at the Nevada Beach Campground. It was so lovely! We arrived around sunset which we admired and photographed. Then we headed out for some of the best sushi I've had in my life--an Ava roll which consists cream cheese, avocado, shrimp tempura, raw salmon, and lemon. It was so good.
We enjoyed Lake Tahoe for the day (Gabrielle got so burnt because she feel asleep in the sun) and then headed for Redding, California--a halfway point between Lake Tahoe and the Redwood National Parks. We slept in a Walmart parking lot. You haven't lived until you've slept and shaved your legs in a Walmart parking lot. ;) I'm pretty sure my hippie transformation is complete. We passed through the magnificent redwood forests taking the Pacific Highway scenic route--amazing! The Pacific Ocean is astounding. I love watching those waves. The redwood trees are amazing. It cracks me up that we, as human beings, are so impressed with ourselves, but yet, we'll still drive thousands of miles to look at trees...to look at God's creation.
We finally arrived in Eugene last night around 10:30 PM or so, and we were tired. After camping and car sleeping, we were so excited to sleep in a bed, and we, somehow or another, ended up in a private room which was great because I didn't pay for a private room. We also had our first showers in two days which was also really exciting. You learn to appreciate the little things when you don't reliably have them. The Eugene Whiteaker International Hostel here is really cool. I love staying in hostels. There is just such a cool environment; it is very hippie. Right now, I'm sitting in a room with fresh flowers, homemade art, numerous international accents, and NPR blares. Oregon, thus far, is what I would have expected--very green, very organic, very hippie. I like it. I'm so grateful to be here. For whatever reason, I've wanted to visit Oregon for a long time--perhaps due to fascination with Donald Miller books, I don't know.
At any rate, I am learning much on this trip. I think it is really wonderful how God is allowing me to take this trip because it's like He's showing me all of my options, reminding me that I don't have to move to Honduras. He'd love me regardless of what I'd choose, but the majesty of the Rockies, the glint of Lake Tahoe, the warmth of Pacific Beach, the eccentricity of Austin, the character of New Orleans, and the grandeur of the Grand Canyon could never match up to the deep love God's placed in my heart for Honduras. I feel so blessed that I get to take this trip, but I am even more blessed that my final destination is home in Honduras where I can live among my family, the orphans, the poor, and the reckless. I can't wait.
Recently, I've been reading Ruthless Trust by Brennan Manning. It's good stuff especially as I'm looking at my sense of control and security dwindle. He uses a quotation from Mother Teresa that stuck with me:
Clarity is the last thing you're clinging to and must let go of. . . . I have never had clarity; what I have always had is trust. So I will pray that you trust God." It's so true. There are so many elements of my life that are up in the air right now. It's so cool to be staying in hostels because I love the sense of community and adopted family, and I think it's one of the things that will stick with me the most from this trip. I want a home someday that I can share with others. I want to provide a sense of home to others. Many of the things that I feel like God has laid upon my heart are all unclear as to how or when or any of the details really, but rather than longing for clarity, I want to place my eyes on Jesus and trust.
Here are some more good excerpts from Ruthless Trust:
We often presume that trust will dispel the confusion, illuminate the darkness, vanquish the uncertainty, and redeem the times. But the crowd of witnesses in Hebrews 11 testifies that this is not the case. Our trust does not bring final clarity on this earth. It does not still the chaos or dull the pain or provide a crutch. When all else is unclear, the heart of trust says, as Jesus did on the cross, "Into your hands I commit my spirit."
So often what is notoriously missing from the external, mechanized concept of salvation is self-acceptance, an experience that is internally personalized and rooted in the acceptance of Jesus Christ. It bids good riddance to unhealthy guilt, shame, remorse, and self-hatred. Anything less--self-rejection in any form--is a manifest sign of a lack of trust in the total sufficiency of Jesus' saving work. Has he set me free from fear of the Father and dislike of myself, or has he not? . . . Unbounded trust in the merciful love of the redeeming God deals a mortal blow to skepticism, cynicism, self-condemnation, and despair.
The way of trust is a movement into obscurity, into the undefined, into ambiguity, not into some predetermined, clearly delineated plan for the future. The next step discloses itself only out of a discernment of God acting in the desert of the present moment. The reality of naked trust is the life of a pilgrim who leaves what is nailed down, obvious, and secure, and walks into the unknown without any rational explanation to justify the decision or guarantee the future. Why? Because God has signaled the movement and offered it his presence and his promise.
The antithesis of giving thanks is grumbling. The grumblers live in a state of self-induced stress.I have learned much about myself during this trip, and much of it relates to just what a wounded spirit I am. I find myself in the pressure of "responsibility" wondering how it's all going to work out. I am a very analytical person. Gabrielle and I joke that my brain is like a GPS--I am constantly thinking in sequence and steps, and when a new obstacle or situation arises, I must re-evaluate all of the options and factors and recalculate my intended plan of action. Because of my personality and my upbringing, I am nearly obsessed with making the best decision at any given time. I am very realistic and cautious--definitely a thinker before jumping into anything. I hate wasting anything--time or money. I hate inconveniencing others. I hate the possibility that I am not being the absolute best steward with what God has given me. All of these things can be quite frustrating to me because when any of these characteristics are not approached with trust in God and outweigh my security in His grace and love, I am overwhelmed by how much I dislike myself and how I can't do anything to fix myself. It's exhausting. There have been so many times on this trip where I have been drowning in this frustration and the fear that I am going to fail God, and God gently reminds me, "But, I like the way you are." Sometimes, I forget that He made me, and many of the very aspects of myself that I cannot change that irritate me because they often irritate others are actually balanced characteristics that can be useful for His Kingdom. I must remind myself often that God gave me the freedom to fail. He already knows that I'm not going to be the best steward. I have no possible way of making the best decisions of my own volition because I cannot see the bigger picture. His love and provision are THANKFULLY not dependent on me at all. I am reminded of a podcast by Jason Upton that we listened to early in our trip. He was working in the garage, and his young son wanted to help him. He asked his son to hold some screws, but it wasn't long before the screws were all over the floor. Later, Jason was on a plane, and God said to him, "You know you don't help Me, right? But what I like about you is the same thing you like about your son, Sam." And Jason determined that what God likes is that Jason has the desire to help God. I don't help God, but I am so blessed to know that my deep desire to help Him blesses His heart. So, I am learning to trust, to believe that He loves me, to be grateful, and to lose.
In other thoughts, I thought I'd share some road quirks which are now mundane to us but may make for amusing reading:
*I wonder how many pounds of trail mix we will have consumed by the time this trip is over. We are so sick of dried fruit and nuts, my goodness.
*We are mildly obsessed with coconut water.
*We constantly have these little freakout moments of "Where are the keys?!" or "What did I do with my wallet?! Oh my goodness." I no longer commit to an emotional response because it always works out.
*Since probably Louisiana or so, we've only seen one other WV license plate although lots of Virginians like to stop and say hello.
*We have trouble with coolers. Our first one got a hole in the bottom. The one we have now has a broken lid. Super glue ate the Styrofoam away and made the whole cooler smell bad. Bahaha.
*We love Rolland Baker's creepy laugh when we listen to his podcasts. (The latest one was called something to the effect of The Greatest Weapon.) It makes us laugh so much just listening to it. Sometimes, it sounds like he's having sex with the microphone on state. Too funny!
*Our friend, Habip, who we met in San Diego calls or texts us everyday to check on us and to tell us that he wishes he was with us. We love sweet Habip.
*Bugs love to dive bomb our windshield.
*We hate it when we almost hit squirrels.
*When Gabrielle is tired of driving (while she's the one driving), she starts playing with her face unconsciously and accidentally driving over rumble strips. When I am tired of driving (while I'm the one driving), I run stop signs.
*Oddly enough, Gabrielle has had more and worse sunburns than me.
*We have eaten great food! Creole, Cajun, Indian, Asian, Jewish, Southern, Mexican, Honduran, and Tex-Mex just to name a few. We eat in little hippie cafes the most.
Well, that's all for now.
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| Sunset at Lake Tahoe |
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| My view while laying on the beach at Lake Tahoe |
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| Lake Tahoe |
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| If tree hugging were an Olympic sport... |
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| The Pacific Ocean along Highway 101 near the Redwood National Parks |
Sarah
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