Hello All,
Well, on yet another snow day, I thought I would catch you up on how things are going. Student teaching is going well although it can be quite difficult at times. The planning, grading, teaching, and assessing never seem to stop, and I'm only teaching four classes! However, I can completely see how this is definitely a time of direct preparation for Honduras. I am learning to let God have my time and make all of my priorities. I have great struggles with the public school system, and I don't ever have enough time to cover everything I want to cover. When time is limited, it makes you question what truly is most important for teaching. Oftentimes, my belief of what is most important does not line up with state standards or textbooks. Thus, I am learning to follow God and trust that He is the master of my time. I continuously ask Him to ensure that I cover what is most important, what my students need. Only He knows what directions the lives of my students will take, and for that reason, He is really the only One who knows what I need to be teaching to best aid my students in life. It's an overwhelming adventure and one that is increasing my dependency on God. I am already done with week two which means I only have 5 weeks left in this placement. God has made it very clear that He has me here right now for a purpose (even if I don't know what it is), and I want Him to be in control of all that transpires.
Meanwhile, I am reading the book The Cost of Discipleship by Dietrich Bonhoeffer, and it is powerful stuff. Dietrich Bonhoeffer was a German pastor during the time of Adolf Hitler, and he was a part of the resistance against the Nazis. He ultimately was martyred. This book, although I just started it, is highly convicting. So, I wanted to share just a bit with you today:
In the second chapter, "The Call to Discipleship," he starts out by talking about the call of Jesus. He points out:
The response of the disciples is an act of obedience, not a confession of faith in Jesus . . . According to our text, there is no road to faith or discipleship, no other road--only obedience to the call of Jesus. . . . To follow in his steps is something which is void of all content. It gives us no intelligible programme for a way of life, no goal or ideal to strive after. . . . At the call, Levi leaves all that he has--but not because he thinks that he might be doing something worth while, but simply for the sake of the call. Otherwise, he cannot follow in the steps of Jesus. . . . He is called out, and has to forsake his old life in order that he may 'exist' in the strictest sense of the word. The old life is left behind, and completely surrendered. The disciple is dragged out of his relative security into a life of absolute insecutiry (that is, in truth, into the absolute security and safety of the fellowship of Jesus), from a life which is observable and calculable (it is, in fact, quite incalculable) into a life where everything is unobservable and fortuitous (that is, into one which is necessary and calculable) out of the realm of finite (which is in truth the infinite) into the realm of infinite possibilites (which is the one liberating reality). . . . it is the exact opposite of all legality. It is nothing else than bondage to Jesus Christ alone, completely breaking through every programme, every ideal, every set of laws. No other significance is possible, since Jesus is the only significance. He alone matters. . . . The grace of his call bursts all the bonds of legalism.
There is so much I take away from just this passage! How often do we water down what it truly means to be a Christian when we assert to unbelievers that all it takes is a confession of faith in Jesus? Being a follower of Christ which is what the word "Christian" essentially means to me does take an act of obedience. Furthermore, how often to we try to boil down the Christian life into a set of steps or a formula? How often in my life have I heard, "Well, now that you're a Christian, to keep following Jesus, all you need to do is get into church, pray every day, and start reading the Bible"? And while those elements may be beneficial and may very well be part of the Christian life, is that it? Absolutely not! There's so much more than that. I have heard the term "for the sake of the call," but I don't think I fully understood the depth of that statement until I read this passage. When we try to justify or rationalize what it means to follow Jesus, we fall into legalism and formulaic laws when it is clear that following Jesus has no content. The purpose of following Jesus isn't to become more moral or to make something of ourselves or even to experience a prosperous life. The purpose of Jesus is just that--following Jesus, obediently. Everything else follows and pales in comparison.
Christianity without the living Christ is inevitably Christianity without discipleship, and Christianity without discipleship is always Christianity without Christ. . . . In such a religion there is trust in God, but no following of Christ. Because the Son of God became Man, because he is the Mediator, for that reason alone the only true relation we can have with him is to follow him. . . . Only the Mediator, the God-Man, can call men to follow him. Discipleship without Jesus Christ is a way of our own choosing. It may be the ideal way, It may even lead to martyrdom, but it is devoid of all promise. Jesus will certainly reject it.
How often do we as Christians follow Christianity without following Christ? Or how often to we follow a "dead Christ"--our own beliefs of who He is and what He wants and what following Him looks like--rather than the living Christ who will often provide no rationale for the obedience He calls us to? I believe that this simple assertion addresses a fundamental problem within mainstream Christianity. What is it about Christians that makes them different from the rest of the world, from the rest of religions? It's Christ, pure and simple. But if we are not following Him and recklessly obeying Him, we look just like the world, trying to earn our way to greatness. We try to entice others into following this dead Jesus idol that we have created for ourselves when Jesus is the only One who can call men to follow Him, and the way that He can often do that is not through our formulas and quotas but through the witness of our following Jesus without shame or insecurity. So often in church nowadays the discipleship that is taking place is from a pastor to a parishioner rather than from Jesus to all. Often, a pastor is seen as the mediator between God and the church, when God never meant for it to be that way. Jesus is the only mediator, and He is the only One who can and should be discipling each of us equally.
Bonhoeffer then begins to speak of the lessons of Luke 9:57-62:
"And they went to another village. And as they went in the way, a certain man said unto him, I will follow thee whithersoever thou goest. And Jesus said unto him, The foxes have holes, and the birds of heaven have nests, but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head. And he said unto another, Follow me. But he said, Lord, suffer me first to go and bury my father. But he said unto him, Leave the dead to bury their dead, but go thou and publish abroad the kingdom of God. And another said, I will follow thee, Lord; but suffer me first to bid farewell to them that are at my house. But Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand unto the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God."
. . . The third would-be disciple, like the first, thinks that following Christ means that he must make the offer on his own initiative, as if it were a career he had mapped out for himself. There is however a difference between the first would-be disciple and the third, for the third is bold enough to stipulate his own terms. Unfortunately, however, he lands himself in a hopeless inconsistency, for although he is ready enough to throw in his lot with Jesus, he succeeds in putting up a barrier between himself and the Master. 'Suffer me first.' He wants to follow, but feels obliged to insist on his own terms. Discipleship to him is a possibility which can only be realized when certain conditions have been fulfilled. This is to reduce discipleship to the level of human understanding. First you must do this and then you must do that. There is a right time for everything. The disciple places himself at the Master's disposal, but at the same time retains the right to dictate his own terms. But then discipleship is no longer discipleship, but a programme of our own to be arranged to suit ourselves, and to be judged in accordance with the standards of a rational ethic. The trouble about this third would-be disciple is that at the very moment he expresses his willingness to follow, he ceases to want to follow at all. By making his offer on his own terms, he alters the whole position, for discipleship can tolerate no conditions which might come between Jesus and our obedience to him. . . . His [the third would-be disciple's] desires conflict not only with what Jesus wants, but also with what he wants himself.
This state of the third would-be disciple is the one I find to be the most convicting. How often do we as Christians say to God, "I'll do ___________ if You just ___________"? Even the attitude toward missions in many churches demonstrates this idea of approaching the call of Jesus as if it were a career. People will ask me, "Well, when did you first receive the call to be a missionary?" And I have trouble with this question because I don't have a specific moment that I can pinpoint and because I believe that we've all been called! To me, being a missionary is a state of the heart, a reckless following of Jesus, and a dependency on Him alone no matter where one is. Being a missionary, to me, is a natural result of the discipleship of Jesus, and it's evident in the Gospels. He called the disciples; they obeyed; He discipled them; He sent them out into the world as missionaries. As I am about to enter the second month of my last semester in college, I continuously see the necessity of being single-minded in the following of Christ. I want to live in the reality of His Kingdom despite what circumstances I may see around me. I want Him to have the only significance in my life.
If we would follow Jesus we must take certain definite steps. The first step, which follows the call, cuts the disciple off from his previous existence. The call to follow at once produces a new situation. To stay in the old situation makes discipleship impossible. . . . since He is the Christ, he must make it clear from the start that his word is not an abstract doctrine, but the re-creation of the whole life of man. The only right and proper way is quite literally to go with Jesus. The call to follow implies that there is only one way of believing on Jesus Christ, and that is by leaving all and going with the incarnate Son of God. The first step places the disciple in the situation where faith is possible. If he refuses to follow and stays behind, he does not learn how to believe. He who is called must go out of his situation in which he cannot believe, into the situation in which, first and foremost, faith is possible. But this step is not the first stage of a career. Its sole justification is that it brings the disciple into fellowship with Jesus which will be victorious. So long as Levi sits at the receipt of custom, and Peter at his nets, they could both pursue their trade honestly and dutifully, and they might both enjoy religious experiences, old and new. But if they want to believe in God, the only way is to follow his incarnate Son.
Until that day, everything had been different. They could remain in obscurity, pursuing their work as the quiet in the land, observing the law and waiting for the coming of the Messiah. But now he has come, and his call goes forth. Faith can no longer mean sitting still and waiting--they must rise and follow him. The call frees them from all earthly ties, and binds them to Jesus Christ alone. They must burn their boats and plunge into absolute insecurity in order to learn the demand and the gift of Christ. Had Levi stayed at his post, Jesus might have been his present help in trouble, but not the Lord of his whole life. In other words Levi would never have learnt to believe. The new situation must be created, in which it is possible to believe on Jesus as God incarnate; that is the impossible situation in which everything is staked solely on the word of Jesus. Peter had to leave the ship and risk his life on the sea, in order to learn both is own weakness and the almighty power of his Lord. If Peter had not taken the risk, he would never have learnt the meaning of faith. Before he can believe, the utterly impossible and ethically irresponsible situation on the waves of the sea must be displayed. The road to faith passes through obedience to the call of Jesus. Unless a definite step is demanded, the call vanishes into thin air, and if men imagine that they can follow Jesus without taking this step, they are deluding themselves like fanatics.
I can't even break that passage down because it speaks so much for itself. I want the unending desire of my heart to be the reckless obedience of Jesus, blind following for the sake of the call, and the road of risk, faith, and discipleship.
With love,
Sarah
Friday, January 28, 2011
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Isaiah 51
On my first snow day as a student teacher, I just thought I'd share this. It has been a bit of a rescue since I've been back from Honduras.
from Isaiah 51:
For the Lord will comfort Zion; He will comfort all her waste places. And he will make her wilderness like Eden, and her desert like the garden of the Lord. Joy and gladness will be found in her, thanksgiving and the voice of song or instrument of praise. . . . on My arm shall they trust and wait with hope. . . . And the redeemed of the Lord shall return and come with singing to Zion; everlasting joy shall be upon their heads. They shall obtain joy and gladness, and sorrow and sighing shall flee away. . . . I, even I, am He Who comforts you.
With exceeding joy,
Sarah
from Isaiah 51:
For the Lord will comfort Zion; He will comfort all her waste places. And he will make her wilderness like Eden, and her desert like the garden of the Lord. Joy and gladness will be found in her, thanksgiving and the voice of song or instrument of praise. . . . on My arm shall they trust and wait with hope. . . . And the redeemed of the Lord shall return and come with singing to Zion; everlasting joy shall be upon their heads. They shall obtain joy and gladness, and sorrow and sighing shall flee away. . . . I, even I, am He Who comforts you.
With exceeding joy,
Sarah
Monday, January 17, 2011
In Spirit and in Truth
Hello All,
I realize that I haven't updated in a while and haven't said a word about how Honduras was. (It was truly wonderful and so needed as always.) To be honest, I didn't journal much while I was there, so whether or not I catch you up on the happenings hangs in the balance right now.
I'm back at school and took Praxis II (a standardized test I need to be certified in West Virginia) this past weekend. Tomorrow is my first day of student teaching (provided that the weather doesn't adjust that). Both of my placement teachers seem like wonderful people and quite willing to let me jump in and be a part and eventually be in charge of their classrooms. I am thrilled and also rather intimidated. While they keep pep talking us about how the children aren't going to eat us, it's never the children that make me nervous--it's the fact that I feel so unqualified. I have reached a place in my life where the more I look at the world and even the things that bother me within the world, the more I realize that I have no answers. And the more I grasp my deep need to maintain humbled, on my knees before the Lord. Thus, student teaching is another opportunity to honor God and to be a vessel of His love. I am humbled that He has given me this privilege and further amazed that this is my last semester before graduating.
One small lesson that popped up in Honduras was the idea of what it means to worship God in spirit and in truth. A lot of translations refer to "truth" in that scripture as "reality." What does it mean to worship God in reality? I think for me it means choosing His reality over our own, choosing to see with His kingdom eyes even the circumstances before us, and putting the glory of His kingdom before all else, especially ourselves. I'm not always sure what that looks like in practical terms, but I am assured that the love of God is folly. Thus, I can't imagine what having the faith to live in God's reality must look like to the outside world. I would venture fairly foolish yet infinitely worth it.
If you think about it, take a moment to ask God what worshiping Him in spirit and in truth means for you personally. The answers may surprise you.
With love,
Sarah
I realize that I haven't updated in a while and haven't said a word about how Honduras was. (It was truly wonderful and so needed as always.) To be honest, I didn't journal much while I was there, so whether or not I catch you up on the happenings hangs in the balance right now.
I'm back at school and took Praxis II (a standardized test I need to be certified in West Virginia) this past weekend. Tomorrow is my first day of student teaching (provided that the weather doesn't adjust that). Both of my placement teachers seem like wonderful people and quite willing to let me jump in and be a part and eventually be in charge of their classrooms. I am thrilled and also rather intimidated. While they keep pep talking us about how the children aren't going to eat us, it's never the children that make me nervous--it's the fact that I feel so unqualified. I have reached a place in my life where the more I look at the world and even the things that bother me within the world, the more I realize that I have no answers. And the more I grasp my deep need to maintain humbled, on my knees before the Lord. Thus, student teaching is another opportunity to honor God and to be a vessel of His love. I am humbled that He has given me this privilege and further amazed that this is my last semester before graduating.
One small lesson that popped up in Honduras was the idea of what it means to worship God in spirit and in truth. A lot of translations refer to "truth" in that scripture as "reality." What does it mean to worship God in reality? I think for me it means choosing His reality over our own, choosing to see with His kingdom eyes even the circumstances before us, and putting the glory of His kingdom before all else, especially ourselves. I'm not always sure what that looks like in practical terms, but I am assured that the love of God is folly. Thus, I can't imagine what having the faith to live in God's reality must look like to the outside world. I would venture fairly foolish yet infinitely worth it.
If you think about it, take a moment to ask God what worshiping Him in spirit and in truth means for you personally. The answers may surprise you.
With love,
Sarah
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
'Til He Appear'd and the Soul Felt Its Worth
Hello All,
I wanted to give you a bit of an update before I get swept up into the realm of last-minute packing for--Honduras!!!! While we were supposed to fly out on Monday, the threat of impending snow (that we never actually got. . .ha ha) cancelled our flight. Thus, we fly out tomorrow, have a layover in Miami, and finally will arrive in sunny Tegus. I can't wait. I haven't been able to sleep much for the past week because as soon as I close my eyes, I'm replaying Honduras memories and excitedly thinking of home. Soon enough, though, I'll be making new memories with Robert and Gabrielle who are coming with me.
I enjoyed my time with my family over Christmas. Just being around them is always a blessing. Sometimes, I forget how nice it is to be completely comfortable with the people that you're around--able to be silly, to wander around in sweats, and to be loud. I also had good visits with my extended family on both sides. It was nice to see the cousins and catch up a little bit. And now that I've had my time with my US family, it's on to my other family!
God had indicated to me a month or so ago that no matter what happens with this rather unplanned trip that we are to approach it all with an attitude of prayer. Therefore, when I heard about the possible snowstorm, I was praying as I drove back to Shepherd, asking God to keep it from snowing and cancelling our flight until. . . God asked me, "Whose trip is this?" Once again realizing that whatever happens, we are being obedient in going and that we can trust in God's best, I began to change my prayers, asking only for God's will this time. When our flight was cancelled, while we were initially disappointed, we chose to see it as God's best and as another part of the adventure. We aren't even in Honduras yet, but God has already blessed this trip in so many unexpected ways. None of us asked for financial help from anyone. We were just trying to be obedient to God's prompting to go. Yet, each of us has received generous outpouring from family, friends, and churches. We are so blessed by this surprise support and look forward to merely being the vessels that carry that blessing on to Alvin.
Because I've been to Honduras so many times now, it is just home. I don't see going back as a compartmentalized "mission trip," and I love it that way. Whenever you travel to a Third World country, the question you always get asked is, "What are you doing there?" And, this is an occasion where we don't have an answer other than "being obedient." We don't have a project in mind. We don't expect to do all of the usual team things that typically happen at Alvin's. We would rather be treated as family, able to serve in any capacity God leads. We do hope to travel to Esperanza so that I can share my second Honduran family, the school where I taught, and my life this past summer with Roy, Gabrielle, and Robert. I am ecstatic to see everyone again.
I feel so unbelievably blessed that God is allowing me to go back so much sooner than I expected. This is about the time of year where my internal repetitions of "I just want to go home" and homesickness for Honduras gets very intense. I don't know if it's something about the cold and the gray that makes me long for the blue sky and warmth of Honduras or what, but the fact that I'm in the height of Honduras longings and actually get to return is so wonderful. I've been told on more than one occasion that when I talk about Honduras that my whole face lights up, so I no longer feel so silly when Gabrielle catches me with an inexplicable grin on my face. That smile has been a permanent fixture for the past few days, and it's also no unusual for me to just start laughing to myself for no reason other than pure joy at the thought of returning home. Oh my goodness. . .I simply can't wait.
One lesson from Christmas that I am carrying with me to Honduras stems from a beloved Christmas carol, "O Holy Night." Have you ever really listening to the lyrics from that song? They really struck me, so let me share them with you:
O Holy Night
O holy night! The stars are brightly shining,
It is the night of our dear Savior's birth.
Long lay the world in sin and error pining,
'Til He appear'd and the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees! O hear the angels' voices!
O night divine, O night when Christ was born;
O night divine, O night, O night Divine.
. . .
Truly He taught us to love one another;
His law is love and His gospel is peace.
Chains shall he break for the slave is our brother;
And in His name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
Let all within us praise His holy name.
Christ is the Lord! O praise His name forever,
His power and glory evermore proclaim.
His power and glory evermore proclaim.
As I was listening to this song over the holidays, I was struck with the image conjured with the lines, "Long lay the world in sin and error pining, 'til He appeared and the soul felt its worth." I couldn't help but think of the street kids in Honduras or the images of starving children I've seen from Mozambique that are laying there with no hope in the midst of darkness, hunger, and filth. Then I began to think of how it must feel for them to meet someone like Alvin or Heidi Baker who shows them Jesus and also shows them how much they are worth, how much He loves them. There are so many souls in the world who have never felt their worth. Then, I began to feel the weight of the truth that we are the ones called to appear in the world of darkness inhabited by others in order to be Jesus to them and show them how much they are worth to God. As I mulled this responsibility over in my mind, I indeed wanted to fall on my knees in both adoration and in repentance for the times when I am not obedient or faithful in showing other souls their worth to Jesus. It is the life that He calls each of us to. We don't have to travel to a foreign country to find hurting people who need to feel their worth. I think it's also worth pointing out that the song does say "felt" rather than "know." The truth is that we can tell people that they are important and worth something to God all day long, and they can know it logically in their heads without ever feeling it.
I was thinking about gifts a lot over break and asked numerous people the question of what gift has been the most important to them, and my findings were that our idea of a good gift involves some level of forethought and sacrifice--of time, of money, of self. Jesus is obviously the best gift ever given even from a logical standpoint because God had the intuitive forethought to see our deep need for a Savior and chose to sacrifice the dearest part of Himself. Jesus then became deeply and personally aware of our needs as human beings. This Christmas has been a lot of learning about how God defines giving as opposed to how my culture tends to define giving, and the most important conclusion I've come to is that if we truly want to give like Jesus, we have to see past ourselves to the needs of others, choose to feel those needs, and choose to sacrifice--lay down our lives, our time, our money for others. (Are those things really ours anyway?) If we're being honest, simply approaching everyone with a blanket approach of sharing Jesus defies how God defines giving. When we don't seek God's best way of reaching another human being and rely on formulas or what we've always been taught or think we're supposed to do, we're not taking the time to acquaint ourselves personally with the other person's needs, to have the forethought of how to show Jesus specifically to that person, and aren't sacrificing much of ourselves. How much does it cost to give a stranger a standard spiel about the Gospel? How much more does it cost to live as that stranger lives, to embrace their suffering for ourselves, to feel their pain, and them show them Jesus? It costs our lives. That is what God calls us to, and that is the attitude that I want to take with me to Honduras and throughout the rest of my life.
Happy New Year to all of you! I hope it is full of new beginnings.
Lots of love and excitement,
Sarah
I wanted to give you a bit of an update before I get swept up into the realm of last-minute packing for--Honduras!!!! While we were supposed to fly out on Monday, the threat of impending snow (that we never actually got. . .ha ha) cancelled our flight. Thus, we fly out tomorrow, have a layover in Miami, and finally will arrive in sunny Tegus. I can't wait. I haven't been able to sleep much for the past week because as soon as I close my eyes, I'm replaying Honduras memories and excitedly thinking of home. Soon enough, though, I'll be making new memories with Robert and Gabrielle who are coming with me.
I enjoyed my time with my family over Christmas. Just being around them is always a blessing. Sometimes, I forget how nice it is to be completely comfortable with the people that you're around--able to be silly, to wander around in sweats, and to be loud. I also had good visits with my extended family on both sides. It was nice to see the cousins and catch up a little bit. And now that I've had my time with my US family, it's on to my other family!
God had indicated to me a month or so ago that no matter what happens with this rather unplanned trip that we are to approach it all with an attitude of prayer. Therefore, when I heard about the possible snowstorm, I was praying as I drove back to Shepherd, asking God to keep it from snowing and cancelling our flight until. . . God asked me, "Whose trip is this?" Once again realizing that whatever happens, we are being obedient in going and that we can trust in God's best, I began to change my prayers, asking only for God's will this time. When our flight was cancelled, while we were initially disappointed, we chose to see it as God's best and as another part of the adventure. We aren't even in Honduras yet, but God has already blessed this trip in so many unexpected ways. None of us asked for financial help from anyone. We were just trying to be obedient to God's prompting to go. Yet, each of us has received generous outpouring from family, friends, and churches. We are so blessed by this surprise support and look forward to merely being the vessels that carry that blessing on to Alvin.
Because I've been to Honduras so many times now, it is just home. I don't see going back as a compartmentalized "mission trip," and I love it that way. Whenever you travel to a Third World country, the question you always get asked is, "What are you doing there?" And, this is an occasion where we don't have an answer other than "being obedient." We don't have a project in mind. We don't expect to do all of the usual team things that typically happen at Alvin's. We would rather be treated as family, able to serve in any capacity God leads. We do hope to travel to Esperanza so that I can share my second Honduran family, the school where I taught, and my life this past summer with Roy, Gabrielle, and Robert. I am ecstatic to see everyone again.
I feel so unbelievably blessed that God is allowing me to go back so much sooner than I expected. This is about the time of year where my internal repetitions of "I just want to go home" and homesickness for Honduras gets very intense. I don't know if it's something about the cold and the gray that makes me long for the blue sky and warmth of Honduras or what, but the fact that I'm in the height of Honduras longings and actually get to return is so wonderful. I've been told on more than one occasion that when I talk about Honduras that my whole face lights up, so I no longer feel so silly when Gabrielle catches me with an inexplicable grin on my face. That smile has been a permanent fixture for the past few days, and it's also no unusual for me to just start laughing to myself for no reason other than pure joy at the thought of returning home. Oh my goodness. . .I simply can't wait.
One lesson from Christmas that I am carrying with me to Honduras stems from a beloved Christmas carol, "O Holy Night." Have you ever really listening to the lyrics from that song? They really struck me, so let me share them with you:
O Holy Night
O holy night! The stars are brightly shining,
It is the night of our dear Savior's birth.
Long lay the world in sin and error pining,
'Til He appear'd and the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees! O hear the angels' voices!
O night divine, O night when Christ was born;
O night divine, O night, O night Divine.
. . .
Truly He taught us to love one another;
His law is love and His gospel is peace.
Chains shall he break for the slave is our brother;
And in His name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
Let all within us praise His holy name.
Christ is the Lord! O praise His name forever,
His power and glory evermore proclaim.
His power and glory evermore proclaim.
As I was listening to this song over the holidays, I was struck with the image conjured with the lines, "Long lay the world in sin and error pining, 'til He appeared and the soul felt its worth." I couldn't help but think of the street kids in Honduras or the images of starving children I've seen from Mozambique that are laying there with no hope in the midst of darkness, hunger, and filth. Then I began to think of how it must feel for them to meet someone like Alvin or Heidi Baker who shows them Jesus and also shows them how much they are worth, how much He loves them. There are so many souls in the world who have never felt their worth. Then, I began to feel the weight of the truth that we are the ones called to appear in the world of darkness inhabited by others in order to be Jesus to them and show them how much they are worth to God. As I mulled this responsibility over in my mind, I indeed wanted to fall on my knees in both adoration and in repentance for the times when I am not obedient or faithful in showing other souls their worth to Jesus. It is the life that He calls each of us to. We don't have to travel to a foreign country to find hurting people who need to feel their worth. I think it's also worth pointing out that the song does say "felt" rather than "know." The truth is that we can tell people that they are important and worth something to God all day long, and they can know it logically in their heads without ever feeling it.
I was thinking about gifts a lot over break and asked numerous people the question of what gift has been the most important to them, and my findings were that our idea of a good gift involves some level of forethought and sacrifice--of time, of money, of self. Jesus is obviously the best gift ever given even from a logical standpoint because God had the intuitive forethought to see our deep need for a Savior and chose to sacrifice the dearest part of Himself. Jesus then became deeply and personally aware of our needs as human beings. This Christmas has been a lot of learning about how God defines giving as opposed to how my culture tends to define giving, and the most important conclusion I've come to is that if we truly want to give like Jesus, we have to see past ourselves to the needs of others, choose to feel those needs, and choose to sacrifice--lay down our lives, our time, our money for others. (Are those things really ours anyway?) If we're being honest, simply approaching everyone with a blanket approach of sharing Jesus defies how God defines giving. When we don't seek God's best way of reaching another human being and rely on formulas or what we've always been taught or think we're supposed to do, we're not taking the time to acquaint ourselves personally with the other person's needs, to have the forethought of how to show Jesus specifically to that person, and aren't sacrificing much of ourselves. How much does it cost to give a stranger a standard spiel about the Gospel? How much more does it cost to live as that stranger lives, to embrace their suffering for ourselves, to feel their pain, and them show them Jesus? It costs our lives. That is what God calls us to, and that is the attitude that I want to take with me to Honduras and throughout the rest of my life.
Happy New Year to all of you! I hope it is full of new beginnings.
Lots of love and excitement,
Sarah
Friday, December 10, 2010
Found
Hello All,
I am always so amazed at the ways that God can find me even when I have buried myself in work or am dwelling in despair. He always manages to knock on the door of my heart when I need it most. It has been a difficult week for various reasons--the easiest way to explain it is merely be reverting back to the old theme which is loss, loss, and more loss. In the midst of feeling abandoned by various humans, I found myself questioning why God loves me and struggling to know in my heart that He never abandons me. After spending some portion of every day this past week in tears and pain, God found me today in the midst of my 13-page Spanish paper--the last assignment of the semester.
I was listening to Pandora when a live version of "Blessed Be Your Name" by the Newsboys came on. Already a theme song for this week and year, I listened a little more intently as the lead singer began to quote scripture at the end. It hit home. http://http//www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLycgKxlgc0
The scripture that he recites is from Isaiah--one of my favorite books anyway--and they were words that I so desperately needed:
from Isaiah 40-41:
"So--who is like me?
Who holds a candle to me?" says The Holy.
Look at the night skies:
Who do you think made all this?
Who marches this army of stars out each night,
counts them off, calls each by name
--so magnificent! so powerful!--
and never overlooks a single one?
Why would you ever complain, O Jacob,
or, whine, Israel, saying,
"God has lost track of me.
He doesn't care what happens to me"?
Don't you know anything? Haven't you been listening?
God doesn't come and go. God lasts.
He's Creator of all you can see or imagine.
He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch his breath.
And he knows everything, inside and out.
He energizes those who get tired,
gives fresh strength to dropouts.
For even young people tire and drop out,
young folk in their prime stumble and fall.
But those who wait upon God will get fresh strength.
They spread their wings and soar like eagles,
They run and don't get tired,
they walk and don't lag behind. . . .
"But you, Israel, are my servant.
You're Jacob, my first choice,
descendants of my good friend Abraham.
I pulled you in from all over the world,
called you in from every dark corner of the earth,
Telling you, 'You're my servant, serving on my side.
I've picked you. I haven't dropped you.'
Don't panic. I'm with you.
There's no need to fear for I'm your God.
I'll give you strength. I'll help you.
I'll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you.
"Count on it: Everyone who had it in for you
will end up out in the cold--
real losers.
Those who worked against you
will end up empty-handed--
nothing to show for their lives.
When you go out looking for your old adversaries
you won't find them--
Not a trace of your old enemies,
not even a memory.
That's right. Because I, your God,
have a firm grip on you and I'm not letting go.
I'm telling you, 'Don't panic.
I'm right here to help you.'
"Do you feel like a lowly worm, Jacob?
Don't be afraid.
Feel like a fragile insect, Israel?
I'll help you.
I, God, want to reassure you.
The God who buys you back, The Holy of Israel.
Then, moments after hearing this scripture, I was sent a convicting text from my friend, Robert, who will be going with me and my cousin to Honduras in a couple weeks. He reminded me of the scripture 1 Corinthians 7:17 which I normally read in the context of marriage versus being single. However, that scripture in isolation was a nice, needed wakeup call for someone who has been counting down the days till Honduras for well over a month and who has a constant ticker tape of the thought, "I just want to go home [to Honduras]," running through her head. Sometimes, Honduras becomes a mental escape for me when I know that in reality any problems I have here are also present (and often magnified) in Honduras. Thus, this scripture was God's gentle reminder that home is always Him.
from 1 Corinthians 7:17:
And don't be wishing you were somplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God's place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there.
I can't help but be thrilled that I am going back to Honduras in 17 days; however, this is God's trip. I don't want to have any expectations or set plans. He is the one that organized all of this--it wasn't my plan--and I want Him to have full control to do His will. It's funny--I had no plans to go back to Honduras before I move, and I had pretty much determined that I was strong enough to be able to go that long without being home (still Honduras, can't help it). But, it is such an amazing blessing that when I find myself struggling greatly, telling God once again that I have nothing left, that I am just a lowly shell, and that all I want is to go home whatever that may mean, He has already made the way for me to go back. He knows my weaknesses and heart's needs far better than I do.
For that, I am infinitely grateful. I have made it through my second to last semester of college. Next semester is student teaching, and after that, college is over. I marvel at how fast the time has flown. I marvel at all that I've learned. And I marvel at the balance of loss and enthusiasm for the future that overtakes me on a regular basis, and in the midst of the pendulum of emotions, God reminds me to live and obey and love right here. That's the whole purpose of life, anyway. It's always been that simple.
With Love,
Sarah
I am always so amazed at the ways that God can find me even when I have buried myself in work or am dwelling in despair. He always manages to knock on the door of my heart when I need it most. It has been a difficult week for various reasons--the easiest way to explain it is merely be reverting back to the old theme which is loss, loss, and more loss. In the midst of feeling abandoned by various humans, I found myself questioning why God loves me and struggling to know in my heart that He never abandons me. After spending some portion of every day this past week in tears and pain, God found me today in the midst of my 13-page Spanish paper--the last assignment of the semester.
I was listening to Pandora when a live version of "Blessed Be Your Name" by the Newsboys came on. Already a theme song for this week and year, I listened a little more intently as the lead singer began to quote scripture at the end. It hit home. http://http//www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLycgKxlgc0
The scripture that he recites is from Isaiah--one of my favorite books anyway--and they were words that I so desperately needed:
from Isaiah 40-41:
"So--who is like me?
Who holds a candle to me?" says The Holy.
Look at the night skies:
Who do you think made all this?
Who marches this army of stars out each night,
counts them off, calls each by name
--so magnificent! so powerful!--
and never overlooks a single one?
Why would you ever complain, O Jacob,
or, whine, Israel, saying,
"God has lost track of me.
He doesn't care what happens to me"?
Don't you know anything? Haven't you been listening?
God doesn't come and go. God lasts.
He's Creator of all you can see or imagine.
He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch his breath.
And he knows everything, inside and out.
He energizes those who get tired,
gives fresh strength to dropouts.
For even young people tire and drop out,
young folk in their prime stumble and fall.
But those who wait upon God will get fresh strength.
They spread their wings and soar like eagles,
They run and don't get tired,
they walk and don't lag behind. . . .
"But you, Israel, are my servant.
You're Jacob, my first choice,
descendants of my good friend Abraham.
I pulled you in from all over the world,
called you in from every dark corner of the earth,
Telling you, 'You're my servant, serving on my side.
I've picked you. I haven't dropped you.'
Don't panic. I'm with you.
There's no need to fear for I'm your God.
I'll give you strength. I'll help you.
I'll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you.
"Count on it: Everyone who had it in for you
will end up out in the cold--
real losers.
Those who worked against you
will end up empty-handed--
nothing to show for their lives.
When you go out looking for your old adversaries
you won't find them--
Not a trace of your old enemies,
not even a memory.
That's right. Because I, your God,
have a firm grip on you and I'm not letting go.
I'm telling you, 'Don't panic.
I'm right here to help you.'
"Do you feel like a lowly worm, Jacob?
Don't be afraid.
Feel like a fragile insect, Israel?
I'll help you.
I, God, want to reassure you.
The God who buys you back, The Holy of Israel.
Then, moments after hearing this scripture, I was sent a convicting text from my friend, Robert, who will be going with me and my cousin to Honduras in a couple weeks. He reminded me of the scripture 1 Corinthians 7:17 which I normally read in the context of marriage versus being single. However, that scripture in isolation was a nice, needed wakeup call for someone who has been counting down the days till Honduras for well over a month and who has a constant ticker tape of the thought, "I just want to go home [to Honduras]," running through her head. Sometimes, Honduras becomes a mental escape for me when I know that in reality any problems I have here are also present (and often magnified) in Honduras. Thus, this scripture was God's gentle reminder that home is always Him.
from 1 Corinthians 7:17:
And don't be wishing you were somplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God's place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there.
I can't help but be thrilled that I am going back to Honduras in 17 days; however, this is God's trip. I don't want to have any expectations or set plans. He is the one that organized all of this--it wasn't my plan--and I want Him to have full control to do His will. It's funny--I had no plans to go back to Honduras before I move, and I had pretty much determined that I was strong enough to be able to go that long without being home (still Honduras, can't help it). But, it is such an amazing blessing that when I find myself struggling greatly, telling God once again that I have nothing left, that I am just a lowly shell, and that all I want is to go home whatever that may mean, He has already made the way for me to go back. He knows my weaknesses and heart's needs far better than I do.
For that, I am infinitely grateful. I have made it through my second to last semester of college. Next semester is student teaching, and after that, college is over. I marvel at how fast the time has flown. I marvel at all that I've learned. And I marvel at the balance of loss and enthusiasm for the future that overtakes me on a regular basis, and in the midst of the pendulum of emotions, God reminds me to live and obey and love right here. That's the whole purpose of life, anyway. It's always been that simple.
With Love,
Sarah
Sunday, December 5, 2010
2 Corinthians 6
Hello All,
Today is such a beautiful day, and I find myself marveling at how truly beautiful God is. He orchestrates such perfect details in my life. How can I see His fingerprints all around me and not be completely enamored with Him?
I just wanted to share a scripture that I found to be a great comfort this past week:
2 Corinthians 6
Staying at Our Post
Companions as we are in this work with you, we beg you, please don't squander one bit of this marvelous life God has given us. God reminds us, I heard your call in the nick of time; The day you needed me, I was there to help.
Well now is the right time to listen, the day to be helped. Don't put it off; don't frustrate God's work by showing up late, throwing a question mark over everything we're doing. Our work as God's servants gets validated--or not--in the details. People are watching as we stay at our post, alertly, unswervingly . . . in the hard time, tough times, bad times; when we're beaten up, jailed, and mobbed; working hard, working late, working without eating; with pure heart, clear head, steady hand, in gentleness, holiness, and honest love; when we're telling the truth, and when God's showing his power; when we're doing our best setting things right; when we're praised, and when we're blamed; slandered, and honored; true to our word, though distrusted; ignored by the world, but recognized by God; terrifically alive, though rumored to be dead; beaten within an inch of our lives, but refusing to die; immersed in tears, yet always filled with deep joy; living on handouts, yet enriching many; having nothing, having it all.
Dear, dear Corinthians, I can't tell you how much I long for you to entre this wide-open, spacious life. We didn't fence you in. The smallness you feel comes from within you. Your lives aren't small, but you're living them in a small way. I'm speaking as plainly as I can and with great affection. Open up your lives. Live openly and expansively!
Don't become partners with those who reject God. How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong? That's not partnership; that's war. Is light best friends with dark? Does Christ go strolling with the Devil? Do trust and mistrust hold hands? Who would think of setting up pagan idols in God's holy Temple? But that is exactly what we are; each of us a temple in whom God lives. God himself put it this way:
"I'll live in them, move into them;
I'll be their God and they'll be my people.
So leave the corruption and compromise;
leave it for good," says God.
"Don't link up with those who will pollute you.
I want you all for myself.
I'll be a Father to you;
you'll be sons and daughters to me."
The Word of the Master, God.
With love in the midst of loss,
Sarah
Today is such a beautiful day, and I find myself marveling at how truly beautiful God is. He orchestrates such perfect details in my life. How can I see His fingerprints all around me and not be completely enamored with Him?
I just wanted to share a scripture that I found to be a great comfort this past week:
2 Corinthians 6
Staying at Our Post
Companions as we are in this work with you, we beg you, please don't squander one bit of this marvelous life God has given us. God reminds us, I heard your call in the nick of time; The day you needed me, I was there to help.
Well now is the right time to listen, the day to be helped. Don't put it off; don't frustrate God's work by showing up late, throwing a question mark over everything we're doing. Our work as God's servants gets validated--or not--in the details. People are watching as we stay at our post, alertly, unswervingly . . . in the hard time, tough times, bad times; when we're beaten up, jailed, and mobbed; working hard, working late, working without eating; with pure heart, clear head, steady hand, in gentleness, holiness, and honest love; when we're telling the truth, and when God's showing his power; when we're doing our best setting things right; when we're praised, and when we're blamed; slandered, and honored; true to our word, though distrusted; ignored by the world, but recognized by God; terrifically alive, though rumored to be dead; beaten within an inch of our lives, but refusing to die; immersed in tears, yet always filled with deep joy; living on handouts, yet enriching many; having nothing, having it all.
Dear, dear Corinthians, I can't tell you how much I long for you to entre this wide-open, spacious life. We didn't fence you in. The smallness you feel comes from within you. Your lives aren't small, but you're living them in a small way. I'm speaking as plainly as I can and with great affection. Open up your lives. Live openly and expansively!
Don't become partners with those who reject God. How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong? That's not partnership; that's war. Is light best friends with dark? Does Christ go strolling with the Devil? Do trust and mistrust hold hands? Who would think of setting up pagan idols in God's holy Temple? But that is exactly what we are; each of us a temple in whom God lives. God himself put it this way:
"I'll live in them, move into them;
I'll be their God and they'll be my people.
So leave the corruption and compromise;
leave it for good," says God.
"Don't link up with those who will pollute you.
I want you all for myself.
I'll be a Father to you;
you'll be sons and daughters to me."
The Word of the Master, God.
With love in the midst of loss,
Sarah
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Eagles and Name Signs
Hello All,
It has been quite a while since I have updated, so I figured I'd go ahead and let you know what's been going on. Thanksgiving break went very well. It was nice to spend some time with my family and to get away from campus for a while.
Last Wednesday, I had the opportunity to speak at Horizons Church youth group where my sister goes on a regular basis. I had no idea what to expect, and to be honest, I had forgotten that I had even agreed to speak until the day before. I am not someone that does much formal preparation when speaking to others, even if it's a large group. I would rather my heart be prepared to be a clean vessel of God's message than have the right words and timing all planned out. I hadn't been in a formal church setting in quite a while, and it had been even longer since I had been in a youth group. It reminded me of my youth group days, and the kids at Horizons were awesome. The praise and worship songs that they played were practically my playlist for this year with "Blessed Be Your Name" and "Lead Me to the Cross." And once again, God had to gently nudge me about another area of life that needed to be surrendered and lost. Speaking went well, and the message that God seemed to give me was the same simple one He resonates in my life on a daily basis--life on God's terms is infinitely better than anything we could imagine for ourselves. He wants us to stop assuming that we know what is best for ourselves and invite Him into every single detail and decision in life. To do that, we must lose all--our dreams, our desires, our hopes, and our fears. We must trust that God knows best and have faith that God loves us perfectly--enough to give us His best. The other day, I was astounded with the realization that God is control of my life. God--the one and only God--loves me enough to take control of my life when I ask Him to. He could completely leave me alone to my own vices, refusing to rescue me from myself. But, He willingly embraces the failure that I am and takes joy in leading me by the hand to Himself and His blessings. I can't help but marvel and His humility in this way. He is all-powerful, yet He doesn't forget me.
Last Saturday, I had a wonderful opportunity to go to Crossroads Deaf Baptist Church in Frederick, Maryland. As part of my sign language class, I was required to experience some elements of deaf culture. I found this church online, and I e-mailed the pastor. Although I was rather nervous because it was a potluck to be held at the pastor's house, and it seemed like a small church (which meant no disappearing into the background), I went this past Sunday. As I sat in my car a bit early, staring at the apartment building and wondering what I had gotten myself into, something God said during my first summer of living in Honduras rang in my ears: "Sarah, is the church My house? Because if it is My house, and you are My child, you are free to move about My house without fear." Thus, with this in mind, and feeling as if God had orchestrated circumstances so as to send me to this place, I went. It was a wonderful experience. While there was only one deaf woman there, she was truly delightful, and we were able to communicate well. It made me miss the early days of Honduras before I could speak the language very well--you learn in those moments that there is more to communication than syllables and syntax. Everyone at the church was so kind and so willing to share with me. We had a service in which the pastor was reminding us to be thankful for all things--even those that seem "bad." After the service, we had a Thanksgiving dinner in the middle of the pastor's home. Somewhere in the midst of passing the stuffing and being offered more sweet potatoes, it hit me that I was sitting in the home of total strangers as they asked me questions about my life and fed me their food off of their plates. They also gave me my name sign in sign language--the letter "s" in a smiling movement near the mouth. I love that total strangers were able to name me in a few hours with a gesture that conveys so much of my heart, a life overflowing with joy.
During my time at Horizons, I sadly realized just how cynical I have become in regard to church. It is so difficult for me to trust the sincerity of other Christians within church settings at times. I have become so jaded with the hierarchy that I am too quick to assume that the system of church and the people within it are only out to sell me something or to use me. I can know logically that this is not true, but experiences have taught me otherwise in some cases. Thus, the people of Crossroads encouraged me greatly. They already knew my reason for being there; they knew that I wasn't looking for a church, and especially due to the distance from my university, I wasn't likely to start going there on a regular basis. But, they treated me as family anyway, and their quiet kindness gave me a warm healing. I also think that this experience gave me a preview of how my life will be lived--dependent on God and free to be welcomed by the kindness of strangers. Overall, although it was out of my comfort zone initially, it was very much a New Testament church kind of experience.
In other thoughts, I recently received my student teaching placement for next semester. I am quite excited. Being a detail-oriented researcher, I googled the school and the teacher with whom I'll be working. The home page welcomed me with a reminder from God that He is always in control: Hedgesville High School: Home of the Eagles! Eagles have become a theme this year. I was given assignment a while back to think of an animal that was representative of me or that represented strength to me in some way. After living at the Eagle's Nest this summer, eagles came rather naturally to my mind. After doing some research, I found that eagles carry some characteristics that offer some interesting spiritual insight:
1) They're master fliers. They are huge birds, and if they put too much effort into flying, they will essentially wear themselves out so much that they'll kill themselves. Thus, their proficiency in flying resides in waiting patiently for a wind thermal to carry them as they soar to where they need to go. On these wind thermals, they fly to heights that no other bird can reach.
2) They're master fishermen.
3) They fly alone.
4) They live on higher ground.
5) They are extremely bold, powerful, and courageous as they fly through storm clouds when most other birds would hide in safety.
6) They are majestic.
7) They are faithful to their mates for life.
8) They are very patient, waiting for their prey sometimes for hours.
9) They have two sets of eyes.
10) They build nests in the wilderness.
11) They have contrasting color patterns and are noticeable from a distance.
With all of that said, after googling my facilitating teacher, I found out that she is award-winning and was the 2007 foreign language teacher in the state. While I don't put much stock in man-pleasing awards, I was interested in what she said during an interview. She mentioned that she incorporates service learning into her Spanish classes and that she believes that the most important part of learning a foreign language is communication. With these comments, I am excited to work with her since I share at least those sentiments. I don't want to jump the gun on this; however, with these things in mind, I can fully see that God is in control of even the smallest details in my life.
At any rate, I'm in the home stretch of this semester and am so thrilled that I will be going to Honduras in a mere 23 days. I feel so very blessed that God is allowing me to go back so soon, and like a fish out of water, I feel as if I need it greatly. I am so thrilled to be able to see my family there again.
Thanks for keeping up with me,
Sarah
It has been quite a while since I have updated, so I figured I'd go ahead and let you know what's been going on. Thanksgiving break went very well. It was nice to spend some time with my family and to get away from campus for a while.
Last Wednesday, I had the opportunity to speak at Horizons Church youth group where my sister goes on a regular basis. I had no idea what to expect, and to be honest, I had forgotten that I had even agreed to speak until the day before. I am not someone that does much formal preparation when speaking to others, even if it's a large group. I would rather my heart be prepared to be a clean vessel of God's message than have the right words and timing all planned out. I hadn't been in a formal church setting in quite a while, and it had been even longer since I had been in a youth group. It reminded me of my youth group days, and the kids at Horizons were awesome. The praise and worship songs that they played were practically my playlist for this year with "Blessed Be Your Name" and "Lead Me to the Cross." And once again, God had to gently nudge me about another area of life that needed to be surrendered and lost. Speaking went well, and the message that God seemed to give me was the same simple one He resonates in my life on a daily basis--life on God's terms is infinitely better than anything we could imagine for ourselves. He wants us to stop assuming that we know what is best for ourselves and invite Him into every single detail and decision in life. To do that, we must lose all--our dreams, our desires, our hopes, and our fears. We must trust that God knows best and have faith that God loves us perfectly--enough to give us His best. The other day, I was astounded with the realization that God is control of my life. God--the one and only God--loves me enough to take control of my life when I ask Him to. He could completely leave me alone to my own vices, refusing to rescue me from myself. But, He willingly embraces the failure that I am and takes joy in leading me by the hand to Himself and His blessings. I can't help but marvel and His humility in this way. He is all-powerful, yet He doesn't forget me.
Last Saturday, I had a wonderful opportunity to go to Crossroads Deaf Baptist Church in Frederick, Maryland. As part of my sign language class, I was required to experience some elements of deaf culture. I found this church online, and I e-mailed the pastor. Although I was rather nervous because it was a potluck to be held at the pastor's house, and it seemed like a small church (which meant no disappearing into the background), I went this past Sunday. As I sat in my car a bit early, staring at the apartment building and wondering what I had gotten myself into, something God said during my first summer of living in Honduras rang in my ears: "Sarah, is the church My house? Because if it is My house, and you are My child, you are free to move about My house without fear." Thus, with this in mind, and feeling as if God had orchestrated circumstances so as to send me to this place, I went. It was a wonderful experience. While there was only one deaf woman there, she was truly delightful, and we were able to communicate well. It made me miss the early days of Honduras before I could speak the language very well--you learn in those moments that there is more to communication than syllables and syntax. Everyone at the church was so kind and so willing to share with me. We had a service in which the pastor was reminding us to be thankful for all things--even those that seem "bad." After the service, we had a Thanksgiving dinner in the middle of the pastor's home. Somewhere in the midst of passing the stuffing and being offered more sweet potatoes, it hit me that I was sitting in the home of total strangers as they asked me questions about my life and fed me their food off of their plates. They also gave me my name sign in sign language--the letter "s" in a smiling movement near the mouth. I love that total strangers were able to name me in a few hours with a gesture that conveys so much of my heart, a life overflowing with joy.
During my time at Horizons, I sadly realized just how cynical I have become in regard to church. It is so difficult for me to trust the sincerity of other Christians within church settings at times. I have become so jaded with the hierarchy that I am too quick to assume that the system of church and the people within it are only out to sell me something or to use me. I can know logically that this is not true, but experiences have taught me otherwise in some cases. Thus, the people of Crossroads encouraged me greatly. They already knew my reason for being there; they knew that I wasn't looking for a church, and especially due to the distance from my university, I wasn't likely to start going there on a regular basis. But, they treated me as family anyway, and their quiet kindness gave me a warm healing. I also think that this experience gave me a preview of how my life will be lived--dependent on God and free to be welcomed by the kindness of strangers. Overall, although it was out of my comfort zone initially, it was very much a New Testament church kind of experience.
In other thoughts, I recently received my student teaching placement for next semester. I am quite excited. Being a detail-oriented researcher, I googled the school and the teacher with whom I'll be working. The home page welcomed me with a reminder from God that He is always in control: Hedgesville High School: Home of the Eagles! Eagles have become a theme this year. I was given assignment a while back to think of an animal that was representative of me or that represented strength to me in some way. After living at the Eagle's Nest this summer, eagles came rather naturally to my mind. After doing some research, I found that eagles carry some characteristics that offer some interesting spiritual insight:
1) They're master fliers. They are huge birds, and if they put too much effort into flying, they will essentially wear themselves out so much that they'll kill themselves. Thus, their proficiency in flying resides in waiting patiently for a wind thermal to carry them as they soar to where they need to go. On these wind thermals, they fly to heights that no other bird can reach.
2) They're master fishermen.
3) They fly alone.
4) They live on higher ground.
5) They are extremely bold, powerful, and courageous as they fly through storm clouds when most other birds would hide in safety.
6) They are majestic.
7) They are faithful to their mates for life.
8) They are very patient, waiting for their prey sometimes for hours.
9) They have two sets of eyes.
10) They build nests in the wilderness.
11) They have contrasting color patterns and are noticeable from a distance.
With all of that said, after googling my facilitating teacher, I found out that she is award-winning and was the 2007 foreign language teacher in the state. While I don't put much stock in man-pleasing awards, I was interested in what she said during an interview. She mentioned that she incorporates service learning into her Spanish classes and that she believes that the most important part of learning a foreign language is communication. With these comments, I am excited to work with her since I share at least those sentiments. I don't want to jump the gun on this; however, with these things in mind, I can fully see that God is in control of even the smallest details in my life.
At any rate, I'm in the home stretch of this semester and am so thrilled that I will be going to Honduras in a mere 23 days. I feel so very blessed that God is allowing me to go back so soon, and like a fish out of water, I feel as if I need it greatly. I am so thrilled to be able to see my family there again.
Thanks for keeping up with me,
Sarah
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