My Sisters

Hello All,
I realize that I haven´t updated in a while, but I am quite all right. I have gotten caught up in living life here rather than documenting it. It has been enjoyable and busy. Time is slipping by so very quickly, and I am dumbfounded by the fact that I only have 16 days left here in Honduras.

So many things have happened in this short stretch of time, so here is an update on some little things:
1) I got my first haircut here in Honduras. It turned out very well and cost me all of $3.50--heck yes.
2) Teaching is going well although it is as much of a learning process for me as it is for our students. Some things work, and some don´t. We just try to learn from all of it and improve as we go. One day last week, Walter, the little boy who wrote me a love note, grabbed my crotch. We were standing in the middle of a crowd of students when it happened, and it actually happened three times. I dismissed the first two times as accidents due to the fact that we were in a large group of students, his height, etc. But the third time, I snatched his hand up and gave him a stern scolding--highly uncharacteristic for me since I´m usually playful and joking with the students, but entirely necessary. I never know what my students see at home or what examples are paraded before them, but I want to do my best to teach them to respect me as well as others. Teaching is always an adventure.
3) The other day, Marie Claire and I were walking in Chiligatoro when a woman we didn´t know yelled at us from a truck, ´´Gringas feas y terribles.´´ My only response was to laugh because it was hilarious to me (and then I did pray for the lady). I had never seen this lady in my life, but she had enough hatred for me, a stranger, to yell an insult. Eh, all is well.

In other more eventful news, this past weekend was truly wonderful. Because our soccer boys of Esperanza won last weekend, they got to play for the championship in Tegus. Thus, my two Honduras worlds collided when I took the volunteers--Astrid, Marie Claire, and Tina--home with me to Tegus. It was a lot of fun. We took the bus on Thursday because the game was on Friday, and Roy picked us up at the bus station along with Kevin (mi hermanito!). Always the servant and gentleman, Roy got the biggest kick out of driving us around, and I was grateful for his ability to joke with the girls even when they didn´t always share the same language. Mamí Sara was so very hospitable and welcomed all of us into the Eagle´s Nest. The following day, Roy took the girls and I to Multiplaza Mall--it had been a while since we had seen various forms of city civilization, and the girls were grateful for shopping. Around lunchtime, Nick, our GVN director, picked us up to take us to Vía Olimpica for the game.

We were the only gringas there, but we felt completely at home at the epic match between Esperanza and Choluteca. I love that the town has adopted us as one of their own, and we are pretty die-hard fans, after all. There are no fans like Esperanza fans--they took buses at 6 AM to come to the game and brought their own drums, which were played throughout the entirety of the game. We had so much fun cheering our boys on, and the game was quite close. At one point, the team was rallying, and the place was just exploding with excitement. A guy called into a radio station in Esperanza and interviewed Dercia (one of the sisters in the family we live with) and me. Ha ha. I don´t believe I´ve ever been on the radio in the US, but now I have in Honduras. I couldn´t understand much of what he asked me because it was so loud, and I´m sure I sounded really silly--especially since Jorge (mi hermanito) who stayed home told me that he heard me and laughed a lot as a result. It was a really good time although very hot, and the game actually went into overtime, tied at 2-2. But, the boys eventually got tired and lost. It was pretty devastating to them as they all started crying and moped on the field for 20 minutes after the game. After the game, the girls headed back to Esperanza since there was a mushroom festival this past weekend (which entailed much dancing in the streets), and I stayed in Tegus. Roy came to pick me up and took me home to the Eagle´s Nest.

While we were in the car listening to some worship music Roy was playing (as he was singing along), it hit me that it was the 23rd--on that day last year, I left Honduras. Memories of leaving only reminded me what little time I have left. And, inexplicably, I began to cry in the car. I have grown so attached to my girls at the Eagle´s Nest, my new family in La Esperanza, the town of La Esperanza, my students in Chiligatoro, and once again, all of the people that I already knew and loved in Tegus. I know that God is preparing me to leave, but it´s never easy. I love this country and the people here so very much. In church on Sunday, it was continuously echoed in the scriptures used in the message:

Acts 7:33-34
God said, ´´Kneel and pray. You are in a holy place, on holy ground. I´ve seen the agony of my people in Egypt. I´ve heard their groans. I´ve come to help them. So get yourself ready; I´m sending you back to Egypt.´´
My prayer since I´ve been here in Honduras has been just one of humility and obedience: God, send me anywhere, to serve anyone, and help me to be obedient always. God loves the people in the US just as much as He loves the people here. There is suffering in the US although it is a different kind of suffering in some ways. If God is sending me back to the US, I want to return whole-heartedly, willing to be obedient.

2 Timothy 4:2
Challenge, warn, and urge your people. Don´t ever quit. Just keep it simple.

John 14:
I´ve told you this ahead of time, before it happens, so that when it does happen, the confirmation will deepen your belief in me. . . . I am carrying out my Father´s instructions right down to the last detail. Get up. Let´s go. It´s time to leave here.

Thus, I ask for your prayers as I prepare to leave, that God would strengthen my heart and give me a heart for the work and people He has for me in the US. Once again, I feel as if my church and family here are sending me to the US as a missionary since I so often feel so foreign in the place of my birth. But, more than anything, I want to be obedient.

One final story--Saturday was amazing. I went with Roy and the girls to clean Julio and Bessy´s house. Julio is the man in the wheelchair with muscular dystrophy that Roy helps every day. Roy was sick with a cold and fever, but he brought me, Mamí Sara, Mayra, Quendy, Blanca, and me to the house. We hadn´t previously been aware of what we were getting ourselves into. It was a profound mess, one rather reminiscent of professional cleaning or hoarding shows from the US. Realistically, we only put a dent in what needs to be done. We encountered maggots, mold, and more. We ran out of bleach and trash bags. While the girls marveled wide-eyed over a mess like they had never seen before, they also politely and cheerfully worked. I was so proud of all of them. Blanca swept and washed and dusted. Quendy washed mountains and mountains of dishes that likely wouldn´t have been considered salvageable in the US. Mayra helped me clean out the refrigerator. And Mamí Sara mopped and sorted, overseeing it all with a gentle spirit of serving compassion. We were playful as we raced each other to the dumpster with bag after bag of trash as Roy yelled jovially in the streets, ´´Basura!´´ which naturally embarrassed the girls and made me laugh. (Blanca kept fussing over how she looked like a street kid--which she has been before, and I believe being in this state was humbling for us all.) We were hot and sweaty. We sneezed a lot, and we were covered in filth. We truly couldn´t have been happier. We ate lunch with Julio and Bessy in this state, and as lunch finished, Julio and Bessy started a conversation with the girls that led to a precious God moment.

It began with the question of what the girls wanted in a husband. Being adolescent girls, this made them giggle and get shy. Being girls who have all been victims of sexual abuse, it is a question with extreme power because it dares them to want better for themselves than what they´ve seen and experienced. I always refer to the girls as my little sisters, but in this particular situation, I was most definitely one of them. I was expected to answer just as they were which made for a hilarious situation as Roy sat across from me. After we discussed the importance of having a godly man, a man who receives and gives God´s love, a man who serves others, and a man who is suited to our individual needs and God´s plans, Julio and Bessy wanted to pray for each of us. They talked with the girls about their dreams and told them that they should tell God their dreams without fear but with boldness. Dreams are rather a novelty to these girls who have just barely scraped by, focused on surviving first and foremost. Having the chance to believe for the future is something new and challenging.

Julio and Bessy started by praying for Mayra, who jumped at the chance to receive from God. They continued by praying for me which again was a funny situation for me given the circumstances. Next was Blanca. Blanca has had a lot of struggle lately. She decides that she wants to leave the Eagle´s Nest every so often, and Mamí Sara and Blanca butt heads over her attitude fairly often. She is such a sweet soul, but she struggles with her need for control and independence. It is difficult for her to submit to authority which I understand because it means a lack of control, and love means vulnerability. As Julio and Bessy prayed for her, she began to cry, and I found myself inexplicably sobbing with her. Bessy began to tell her to receive God´s embrace, and Bessy told me to give Blanca a hug. I can´t explain what God did in that moment, but Blanca collapsed in my arms, and we sobbed together for a long time. There were lots of prayers for freedom and lots of confessions of love for Jesus. It was undeniably God-orchestrated, but He still wasn´t done.

Quendy was next. She was so hesitant to stand before all of us for prayer, and she was even more hesitant to confess her dreams at Bessy´s prompting. She began with her dreams of being a beautician and having a steady job and a family and soon talked tearfully of the desire to move forward, to be free of all of the terrible things that had happened to her. Quendy is the one who was physically abused by her mother and brother, who never went to school, who was sexually abused by her father, and who was kept as a prisoner in her own home. Bessy placed a crumpled piece of newspaper in Quendy´s open hand saying, ´´Sometimes, you feel like you are trash, don´t you?´´ Quendy began to nodd and cry. Bessy continued, ´´You have been told by so many people that you aren´t worth anything, but God has taken you into His hands,´´ Bessy uncrumpled the newspaper, ´´and has made you something beautiful. And He says that you are worth something. You are so important, so valuable to Him.´´ Quendy began to cry as Bessy had her pour out her heart to God and repeat vital words of, ´´I am God´s daughter. I am loved.´´ Always a mess, I was crying along with her, and as Bessy told her to receive God´s embrace, I was again prompted to be the one physically demonstrating that embrace--a humbling privilege for me. Once again, I can´t explain what God did in that moment, but I know in my heart that it was no accident that I have stayed at the Eagle´s Nest this summer. Those girls are my sisters--not just in name, not just in affection, but in struggle and kindred heartache. There is an understanding among us that surpasses words, and I am infinitely grateful for the power of God´s perfect orchestration. Initially, I was so confused over God´s plans for me to be in Honduras while Alvin and Nellie were away, and I wasn´t sure how it would be staying in the Eagle´s Nest rather than Alvin´s, but this Saturday just showed me that He knew what He was doing. He always has a purpose. A precious, perfect purpose.

At the end of our impromptu church service (we´re always having impromptu church at Julio and Bessy´s), we prayed for Roy and Mamí Sara and sang together. (Roy has recovered from his cold and fever, I might add.) At God´s prompting, I began the song, ´´La Niña de Tus Ojos,´´ which the girls and I often sing together and means great significance for all of us--rescued women who once thought we were unworthy of His love.
You saw me when no one saw me
You loved me when no one loved me
And you gave me a name
I am Your daughter, the daughter of Your eyes
Because You loved me
I love You more than my life
I love You more than my life
I love You more than my life

We came to clean Julio´s house, and we left with cleaner hearts. Mamí Sara had been saying to Bessy all day, ´´We´re going to get rid of anything possible. We get rid of the old and dirty so that God can give us something new.´´ And so He did.

With speechless joy,
Sarah